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Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!
Pay the bills. Clean the house. Go to work. Feed the kids. Go to college. These are things that you probably need to do. And, yet these things will not necessarily lead to an extraordinary life. You know that the best things in life are what I call the non-essentials, those beautiful moments that your 90-year-old self will be toasting with a “Well done, darling!”
I doubt she just wants to be toasting a lifetime of paying her bills on time (sure, it’s noble and highly recommended, but c’mon.)
But, taking that trip to Paris or enjoying tanning her ta-tas on a topless beach? That’s Veuve Clicquot worthy.
Think about someone you deeply admire. Does their life consist of the hum-drum? Probably not.
The person that comes to mind for me is my friend, Julie. One week, she’s sitting in silence at some retreat center and the next week she’s jet-setting to Europe.
Now, you may think this is because she’s one of the lucky few, but she’s created her own luck. She has designed her life around doing what feels good to her soul.
She’s the one who had me sit in bed all at the Ritz Carlton and watch movies while eating chocolate chip cookies. One of the best days ever!
Did my life fall apart? Well, obviously not.
Actually, it was quite liberating for a girl that used to be all action, realizing that I could slow down, eat cookies and enjoy life. And, dare I say that the next week was one of my most productive weeks ever.
I am convinced (as I’m living proof and I know many others who are, as well) that the more fun and passion you infuse into your life, the more successful you’ll become, because . . .
A Happy Woman is a Magnet for Her Desires! (tweet it)
With the New Year right around the corner, this is the month that I start to think about the non-essentials of my next year – experiences that aren’t necessary to survival but definitely essential for a well-lived life.
I don’t set out to experience these things because they promise some outcome other than cultivating my intellect and/or bringing me immense joy. They aren’t tied to making more money, losing weight or even growing my business.
And yet, It just so happens that engaging in these things have led to more opportunities and serendipity than trying to “make it happen.”
Here’s why:
I’ve created a New Year desires list, of sorts (no resolutions in my world), in hopes that it will inspire you to do the same. So, here they are, in no particular order:
22 things I don’t ‘need’ to do but absolutely must:
- Drink Tattinger straight from the bottle while watching 4th of July fireworks.
- Write weekly hand-written love notes, sprayed with perfume, and sealed with wax.
- Go skinny dipping during a full moon at Lake Powell.
- Host an Alice in Wonderland style picnic in the forest.
- Dress up in Steam Punk.
- Make homemade ravioli, stuff it with pumpkin and serve it up with sage butter, with a bottle of Chianti, of course!
- Learn one new French word per day and speak it to myself, the dog or anyone in my presence.
- Wear a ball gown. If there’s a reason, great, but I will wear a ball gown this year!
- Snowshoe to the top of a mountain during a full moon and drink hot chocolate with my girlfriends!
- Ski at least bi-weekly with a two-hour lunch (because I’m a social skier).
- Have a monthly special date night with my daughter as her time at home is drawing close to an end (huge sad face).
- Call my parents once a week. There’s just no excuse!
- Go on a scavenger hunt in Paris.
- Host an Assassin Party.
- Go mushroom hunting in the fall, and hopefully make a delicious soup that won’t kill us.
- Sip a French Kiss cocktail at Hotel Costes during Paris Fashion Week.
- Climb a 14er.
- Fall in love with something every day.
- Attend Telluride Gay Ski Week.
- Go glamping often during the summer.
- Attend the Food & Wine Festival in Aspen and indulge in Champagne, anything with truffle and deep conversation.
- Celebrate something incredible that’s happened each and every day, for 365 days straight!
Please note that I will still be working with my amazing clients, paying my bills on time, feeding my child and all the other stuff I need to do. And, I will also create the space in my calendar to check off this very important to-live list.
Now, I’m going to challenge you to make your own list for 2015.
What are you truly desiring to experience next year, those things you don’t need to do but absolutely must?
Care to share in the comments below? I’d love to hear
Champagne and Love,
The Self-Image Manifesto
You’re Invited To Live An Extraordinary Life!
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This year I will take a trip by myself, even if it's a weekend at the nearby Four Seasons resort. I'll spend the entire time enjoying the luxury of soft sheets and solitude.
Patty, this sounds divine! Personally, I love traveling alone. It's a time for me to be with me, dream, explore and have only one agenda: my own.
Bon Voyage!
How do I put an picture here so I don't have to look at the faceless drawing up there? LOL
Jenn
Jenn, please email support@schoolofselfimage.com and my team will hook you up. I've yet to learn how to French Kiss technology!
Plus, we'd love to see your gorgeous face!
I actually started my list right before I found your site. For my 40th birthday, I decided I would experience 40 things in this area which I live in this year. I've lived here for going on 5 years and have experienced very little. I am very excited
1--Lunch at tea house
2--botanical gardens
3--Albright Knox art museum
4--new his n hers outfits @ thrift shop
5--progressive dinner
6--join a Meetup activity
7--attend a Sheas performance (hint,hint phantom in March)
8--go fishing with someone who knows about it
9--wine trail tour
1--Lunch at tea house
2--botanical gardens
3--Albright Knox art museum
4--new his n hers outfits @ thrift shop
5--progressive dinner
6--join a Meetup activity
7--attend a Sheas performance (hint,hint phantom in March)
8--go fishing with someone who knows about it
9--wine trail tour
10--
11--
12--
13--
14--
15--
16--
17--
18--
19--
20--
21--
22--
23--
24--mystery dinner cruise
25--food Truck Rodeo
26--Attica "real" Rodeo
27--water bikes of Buffalo!
28--Rochester Lilac festival
29--buffalo bites food tour
30--garden walk Buffalo ( cottage district) and lunch at Betty's
31--attend a theater of youth production
32--Erie county naval & military park
33--Lockport locks & Erie Canal cruise
34--buffalo Niagara heritage village & museum
35--taste of buffalo
36--art walk festival
37--canal side festival
38--take a kayak/canoe class
39--canoe down the creek
40--Ride the go-carts
41-- sky high adventure park?
As you see, my plans get a bit more adventurous as we go down the list as I plan on being more fit and able to do them by then. Also, there's a lot of blanks in the middle, as ideas come to me, I will fill them in.
Jenn, Love your list. ANNND, I have no idea why I decided to open this email this morning, I have a million things to do today. Perhaps it was to try to connect with you. I moved 600 miles away last August. I had lived in Virginia Beach for the last 35 years but when my husbands parents needed us we decided to move to be near them. I live in your area. I've been to Lockport to see the locks but I also want to do the Erie Canal cruise, I own a kayak (though I left it with my sister in NC because I have no place to put it for the winter) and I so want to kayak on the Tonawanda Creek. I haven't met anyone in the area yet and though I love my sister-in-laws, we haven't connected in a "Let's live this life" kind of way. You mentioned wanting to attend a meet-up. Want to "meet-up" after the first of the year and have lunch at the tea house (don't know where that is) while we talk about The French Kissed Life and how we are making it a part of ours? You could knock a couple of things off your list right away! I know this sounds crazy, but some of the things on my list include stepping out of my comfort zone on a regular basis and reaching out to people to make friends. What do you think?
Wow Alison,
I think that is a great idea, I love it! I'm so glad I came back to this post and saw your reply to my comment. The tea house is on Shawnee Road in North Tonawanda.
I'm so excited~
Are you on Facebook?
Jenn
Oohhh...love when this happens! Amazing ladies connecting and French Kissing Life together.
https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.marcil.14
https://www.facebook.com/alison.kucharski.5
Hi Jenn, I am on Facebook, put my link above. I'm going to send you a message but it will go in your 'Other' folder. This is fun!
What an incredible list! That's almost one experience a week. What an exciting 2015 you're going to have.
Wooo, it's Bucket List time!!!
I really don't know what I'm going to do this year, but I love this list!
Lynn, I have no doubt that whatever you do, it's going to be fabulous!
Here's my list:
1. Revisit Montreal
2. camp for a week in Algonquin Provincial Park during August so I can go on a Wolf Howl.
3. Learn how to cook, really cook.
4. Step out of my comfort zone at least once a week.
5. Hike down to the bottom of the Niagara River Gorge.
6. Try horseback riding.
7. Visit another country that isn't Canada or Mexico. You know, actually USE my passport.
8. Reach out to people to make new friends.
9. Go "Off The Grid" electronically and phone wise for at least a weekend by myself.
10. Sit in silence for a day.
11. Buy that baby blue suede jacket with fringe that I have been dreaming about for 15 years.
12. Meet my daughter for a weekend in NYC.
13. Take a train to ANYWHERE and ride in a sleeper car.
14. Take a Painting With A Twist class.
15. Knit something I can wear that isn't a scarf.
16. Hand make most of my Christmas gifts next year.
17. Love my life everyday, all of it, even the wonky parts.
Guess that's it for now. This was good. I liked this exercise. Thanks Tonya!
Alison,
I love your list! I've taken one of the paint classes, I went to one in Lancaster and really loved it. I'm doing another one on January 12th at a bar in Williamsville called Kabab and Curry.
I bought the ticket at Groupon-Buffalo for $25 The painting is "Japanese Cherry Blossoms"
Incase you are interested here is the Groupon link: http://www.groupon.com/deals/paint-nite-7-96-buffalo
Here is the event link which you use the Groupon to purchase:
https://www.paintnite.com/pages/events/index/geo_location#date:2
Allison, if you've been dreaming of a jacket for 15 years, then I think that's a definitely must-buy! Love reading through your adventures for 2015.
I would like to take a real family vacation even if it's just to a cabin in the woods. We have teenagers and have never been on a real family vacation except to visit other family. Honestly if we did that then anything else in 2015 would be the icing on the cake!
Pat, some of my fondest memories as a family was camping. I have no doubt that you will make this dream come true in 2015. Keep us posted!
Tanya I LOVE this list! A few of your 100 are on my list as well, especially the Aspen Food & Wine Festival. I say we make that happen, let's get some fabulous French Kiss women together and go in 2015!
Kristen,
You read my mind. Working on it!
This is such a funny "bucket list" like none I've ever made before haha. All my life has been filled with "have-to's", like "I have to pay the bills", "I have to find a job", "I have to work at the same company for several years", "I have to make sure the kids have everything they need". Even my bucket lists have always been "have-to's": buy underwear and socks for the kids, buy towels and bedsheets, buy the kids some nice clothes. I'm a single mother who has been unemployed most of my life, so for me, life has always been grim and a good year was when I could buy my kids new shoes. Any money I managed to hustle up has always gone to pay for "necessities". I always, always always felt guilty if I wanted something nice for myself, or something that wasn't a necessity. I've never allowed myself to experience things that I didn't need to do, if they weren't necessary for survival. Maybe that is what I've been doing wrong, and why good things never seemed to enter my life. Thank you for this blog. I love it! And I'm going to read some more.
Serena, try a new kind of list and see how it feels! So thrilled to have you here!
This year I wrote down 52 resolutions to accomplish on a weekly basis. I came up with a variety of things that are geared to do one or more of the following: challenge me, treat and pamper me, teach me a new skill, take me on a mini introspective journey and always give me something to look forward to each week. Week one I drew buy a new lipstick. Unlike most of my lipstick purchases of late, I decided to go to the make-up counters at Macy's not the make-up aisles of Target'. It was nice to have someone work with me to get an everyday color that worked for my skintone and also liking. Instead of ending up with 2 or 3 lipsticks from Target that are almost right, I am enjoying one that is just right. This past week I drew keep a gratitude journal for a week...let me just say I take way too much for granted and at the same time I am even happier to say I don't take the big stuff for granted. Happy 2015 Everyone!
🙂 I thought I was the only one creating a list instead of setting a Resolution. I allowed my ideas to flow and it is beautiful. I have even decided to share my list on Instagram (scary but also existing).
I love living on the edge of scary and exciting! That's where you French Kiss Life Stephanie! xoxo
I just love the red dress in your top picture. Is that your own pic?