Instagram has decided it’s hot girl summer again, and I’ve been asking myself a slightly dangerous question.
“Tonya, do you want to be hot?”
And I’d be lying if I said “no”.
There. A woman in her 50s said it.
Somewhere a committee is drafting a letter explaining that I’m supposed to want to be “graceful” now, or “ageless,” which is a word that means hot but embarrassed about it.
But the question sent me somewhere useful.
Because let’s be honest with each other: I am not going to look like the twenty-year-olds in the crochet bikinis, and pretending otherwise is its own kind of self-abandonment. For a hot minute (pun intended), that thought could have ended the whole inquiry.
Then I actually studied what makes those girls hot. It isn’t the collagen. It’s that nobody has taught them to apologize yet.
They take up the whole beach. They order the fries. They assume they’re welcome.
Hot isn’t a body. Hot is a woman who hasn’t asked permission to enjoy herself.
Which means the twenty-year-olds don’t own it. They’re just borrowing it before life tries to talk them out of it.
We had it trained out of us. Which means we can decide it back.
So here is how I’m being hot this summer:
- I’m wearing the halter dress to the grocery store. Not saving it. A woman buying peaches in a great dress is hotter than any red carpet.
- I’m swimming, not “getting in the water.” Wet hair, no plan for it. A woman who lets her blowout die for pleasure is operating at a frequency most people can’t access.
- I’m flirting with my own life. With Fonz, obviously. But also with the farmers market, the glass of chilled rosé at 5 o’clock, the song that requires dancing in the kitchen.
- I’m sitting in the sun for 10 unproductive minutes a day. No phone, no podcast, no self-improvement. Just a woman and her vitamin D, radiating.
- I’m keeping a secret. Every hot woman has one. Mine is that I’m building something beautiful behind the scenes, and the knowing of it changes how I walk into a room.
Hot girl summer was never about being twenty. It’s about being turned on by your own life.
And chérie, that has no expiration date.
With love,
Hot is a woman who stopped asking for permission to enjoy herself.
When I stop waiting for someone to tell me I’m allowed, I become a different kind of woman entirely.
The Favorites Cluster of Serving Bowls
Another area where I’m turning up my “hotness” is in my hosting. And this cluster of serving bowls from The Favorites adds fire to the entire occasion.
The mix of sizes means everything looks abundant and intentional without any effort. Because a hot girl sets a beautiful table.
Delighting in Yourself [From the Archives]
Before hot girl summer was a hashtag, it was a state of being. A woman who genuinely delights in herself is magnetic in a way that has nothing to do with a season or an age.
This episode from the vault is exactly what it sounds like. And it pairs well with everything we’re talking about this week.
// TheEDIT
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