Disappear for 24 Hours…. and Become Unrecognizable

The Disappearing Ritual

If you open my calendar in December, you’d see a mysterious block of time that simply says, unavailable. No meetings, no calls, no plans. And everyone knows exactly what it means. Tonya has disappeared, and I’ve done this long enough now to know those 24 hours are one of the biggest reasons that my life doesn’t feel like the same year dressed up in different clothes. So today I want to tell you why I disappear and why giving yourself this kind of space can completely change your self-image and make you unrecognizable.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where our motto is simple, elevate yourself image, elevate your life. I’m Tonya Leigh, your hostess, and I’ll guide you to become the woman who doesn’t just dream bigger. She lives bigger. Let’s dive in.

The Problem With Ending the Year on Autopilot

Hey friends, welcome back to my channel and to today’s episode. For years, and I made years, my Decembers all had the same flavor, overwhelmed and overcommitted. I was so busy trying to make everyone else’s season feel magical that I often forgot about me and my goals for the year weren’t really goals. They were habits. They were default answers. I had repeated so many times that they didn’t even feel alive anymore. And every year around, I don’t know, December 28th, I’d have this moment where I’d ask myself, “Okay, Tonya, what do you want next year?” And the same old answer would pop up. And it was usually some variation of lose weight, try harder, get it together. My answers were a reaction to what was, versus really envisioning what could be. I was starting my year off with the same brain that had just rushed through an entire month.

But here’s the truth. Trying to set meaningful goals in that kind of state was like trying to hear my voice in a room full of loud music and people talking. My desires were there. I just could not hear them. I was just going through the motions versus curating my year on purpose. And then one year, I heard something that would forever change me. It stopped me in my tracks. It was this, “If you don’t step back from your life, you’ll stay stuck in the same loop.” And I felt exposed because I’d been running around reacting, adjusting, firefighting, but I hadn’t taken a step back to think on my life in a very, very long time. And if I’m being honest, I was spending more time planning my Christmas dinner than I was planning my life. That same year, I hit a point where I knew I was done, repeating the same year over and over.

Why 24 Hours Changes Everything

So I did something simple, but radical. I booked a night at a beautiful hotel in my city. It was just one night, one quiet room, one real conversation with myself, and it changed everything. That next year, I became unrecognizable because I finally got in touch with what I deeply, deeply wanted. And more importantly, I figured out who I had to become to create it. Let me share why 24 hours matter and the math that actually convinced me to give myself that time. There are 8,760 hours in a year. That is 8,760. When I realized that giving myself just 24 of those hours could shift the other 8,736, it stopped feeling indulgent and it started to feel actually very responsible. 24 hours to step off the hamster wheel. 24 hours to feel what’s true, not what’s habitual. 24 hours to hear myself think again.

24 hours to look back with honesty and forward with vision. 24 hours to actually choose my year instead of inheriting one by default. We underestimate how much clarity one day can give us because we’re so used to squeezing our entire lives into the margins. Now, it’s a ritual. My year doesn’t feel complete without it, not because I’m escaping my life, but because stepping away helps me to actually see my life without the noise or the pressure or other people’s opinions.

The Curated Year Framework

Over the years, I’ve refined this ritual into a full process that’s layered and structured and actually way too big to teach in one podcast episode, which is why I always teach it inside our membership. It’s called The Curated Year workshop, but I want to give you the heart of it. When I take those 24 hours, I’m very intentional about where I do them, first and foremost.

You don’t have to check into a hotel, but I do encourage you to find a beautiful environment. I’ve done them in fancy hotel lobbies, beautiful coffee shops, any space that feels inspiring. You see, environments are signals, and the same environments will often signal the same thoughts. But when you place yourself in a new environment, it allows you to access different ways of thinking and different possibilities. Plus, for me, beauty puts me in this state of possibility versus survival. Another important thing is I rest the night before, and I mean really rest. I don’t stay up watching TV. I put my phone away. I make it a must to get a good night’s rest because a tired brain cannot dream. It can barely make a grocery list. Another important part is I move my body. That morning, I may go on a walk, a stretch, anything because I want to settle into myself before I try to make decisions about my life.

I want to feel powerful and I want my body to be on board. So movement is a big part of these 24 hours. And then I let myself get really honest. I mean, really honest, not the surface level, I should drink more water or I need to work out more. The deeper, quieter, kind where you admit what isn’t working and also what is, where your desires finally have the space to reveal themselves to you. This is what it means to curate your year on purpose. This is a deeper process than most people realize. It’s not about controlling every detail. It’s not about micromanaging your schedule or your life, and it’s definitely not about perfection or rigid resolutions. Curating your year is about stepping far enough back to actually see your life, your past, your present, and your future, with honesty, and most importantly, with imagination.

Unfortunately, most women don’t give themselves this gift. They move from one season to the next so quickly that they never stop long enough to ask themselves the big questions. “What did this year teach me? What wants to come with me and what do I want to leave behind? What am I deeply craving more of? Who am I being called to become next?” This is at the heart of curation. It is an artful, intuitive process of separating what was nourishing from what was draining, of noticing the patterns you’ve been repeating and of deciding which ones serve the next version of you. Curating your year is like a designer walking into a room before a renovation. She doesn’t start by rearranging the furniture. She takes a step back. She studies the space. She imagines what’s possible. She feels for what the room wants to become, and that’s what you’re doing with your life.

You’re looking at your year through this creative lens. What’s your vision? What’s the mood of your year? What’s the story of your next chapter? What energy belongs at the center of your year? What needs to fade into the background? And what needs to be released entirely to make room for, more joy, more beauty, more abundance? Curating your year is not rigid. It’s alive. It’s intentional. It is art. Because the reality is that you and your life is your greatest masterpiece. And the most powerful part? When you curate your year, you’re not just shaping the next 12 months, you’re shaping your identity. You’re choosing who you’re becoming instead of sleepwalking as the woman you’ve been. You’re listening to what’s calling you instead of the noise outside of you. You’re giving yourself permission to lead your life with clarity instead of habit. This is the power of curation.

It’s not control. It’s not perfection. It’s not productivity for productivity’s sake, but it’s about vision. It’s about discernment. It’s about becoming. It is artistry. And a year that feels like it was created by you, not simply handed to you. Now, here’s some tough love. If you don’t step away, long enough to reflect, to imagine, to choose on purpose, you’ll keep running the same loops. You’ll replay the same patterns, you’ll set the same type of goals, you’ll feel the same frustrations, and you’ll call it a new year when in reality it’s just a rerun. But when you pause, and I mean really pause, and you give yourself the gift of clarity and intention, everything shifts, and I mean everything. You see yourself differently. You see your life differently. You make better choices. You live from vision instead of just habitual patterns, and you show up as the woman who leads her life, not just survives it.

The Curated Year Workshop

That is the power of disappearing for 24 hours. Inside the School of Self-Image membership, I host The Curated Year workshop every December. And this year, based on member’s feedback from last year, we are hosting it over two 90-minute sessions. Those two sessions could be the very thing that gives you your mojo back, the clarity that you’ve been craving, and an actual system to bring your vision to life. This is where I’m going to guide you through the exact framework that I’ve refined over the years. The same one that has changed my life and the lives of thousands of women. In fact, one of our members told me recently that this workshop was the first time that she felt like she wasn’t just setting goals, but rather she was stepping into a completely different identity, and that had a ripple effect that changed her marriage, her income, and her confidence in a matter of months.

In the workshop, we’re going to be going deep. We’re going to be getting clear, and we’re going to be getting very honest, and we’re curating a year that reflects who you truly are and who you’re becoming. So if you are tired of the same old, uninspiring resolutions and you want this year to feel different, come learn my process inside The Curated Year workshop. You can join the workshop by becoming a member at schoolofselfimage.com/join. Give yourself the gift of getting off the hamster wheel long enough to see your life and design a year that feels like a masterpiece. I cannot wait to do this with you. Until next time, cheers my friend.