Self-Esteem Comes From Esteem-able Acts

Esteemable Acts Lead to High Self-Esteem

One of the things I've learned over the years is that self-esteem comes from esteem-able acts. Now you may be wondering – what does that mean, exactly? 

To have self-esteem or esteem for another means to have respect, admiration, good opinion, approval, and appreciation for yourself or that person. 

So, what are "esteem-able" acts? Though I'm not sure who originally coined the term, it's a phrase often used by an old friend, and I just love it. It means to conduct oneself in an esteemable way- regardless of whether those actions are toward yourself, another, or life in general.  

I've often shared that there was a time in my life when I was hiding behind my weight, my job as an urgent care nurse, and my roles as a daughter, wife, and mother. 

I didn't hold myself in very high esteem. 

I was overweight, overwrought, overwhelmed, and stuck. I dreamt of bigger and better things, but I didn't feel quite good enough to be or do much more than I already was - though I would never have said it out loud, I secretly believed that I just wasn't really measuring up.

I tried. I did my best to be a good mother, wife, nurse, and person. But, deep down inside, I believed that I could never aspire to more – that I didn't deserve to aspire to more. 

As I've progressed through this journey of self-transformation, elevating my self-image and creating the life that I want, I have grown exponentially. It has all happened through the simple act of carrying myself in such a way that I and others have found to be worthy of positive regard. 

Here are a few things you can do to build self-esteem and transform your self-image by the simple daily practice of esteem-able acts. 

Showing Up for Yourself and Others is Esteem-able

Make and keep your commitments to yourself and others. 

Decided you're going to lose the extra weight? Then, show up for yourself by getting up to do the exercise, making those healthy meals, and staying away from junk food and sweets. 

Show up for yourself by taking time out to meditate, write in your journal, make a delicious meal, take a long, hot bubble bath complete with candles and music. 

Show up for yourself by going to that doctor's appointment for your annual check-up. Show up for yourself by attending that coaching call, taking a class, or spending the time to learn something new. 

Show up for others by listening. Conversations can be difficult at times, and to make it work and show up for others in communication is to listen genuinely and listen intently.  

Show up by being there during both good times and hard times. 

Take the time to pick up the phone and call - or at least send a text or note saying, "I'm thinking about you.  

Keeping the commitments you make, no matter how big or small, is part of showing up. 

Yes, it's been a long, busy week, and sure you'd rather put on your PJs and curl up with a good book, but go anyway because you said you would, and your presence is appreciated.  

Boost Your Self-Esteem by Being of Service 

One of the biggest misconceptions about being of service or giving back is that it requires a significant output of time, effort, or money. The truth is that there are many ways you can serve others without breaking the bank or depleting your energy. 

The ways that you can be of service to others are endless, but just to get you started, here are a few ideas:

Mentor Someone

Mentoring others in your field is a fun way to give back by paying it forward. A long chat filled with personal advice and direct experience can inspire and empower the next generation of entrepreneurs.

Donate Your Product or Service to a Charitable Organization

Are you a business owner with a great product or service to offer? Why not donate what you have to an organization in need that helps others in need? Generosity is good for your brain. In a 2006 study, Jorge Moll and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health found that when people give to charities, it activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection, and trust, creating a "warm glow" effect.

Invite someone over for dinner

An easy way to develop relationships is to have a meal together and so inviting someone over for dinner is a great way to serve them and that relationship.

Offer to babysit 

There may be little more precious to a new parent than a few hours to sleep, an evening out for dinner, or running some stress-free errands.  

Help an Elderly Loved One Clean and Organize Their Home

As you're learning here in the School Of Self-Image, surroundings are essential to how we feel about ourselves and the world around us. The same is true for all of us. 

And, sometimes, our elderly loved ones have a more challenging time keeping things tidy. Perhaps they fear letting go of things, and so their home becomes cluttered, which can even be unsafe. 

Take some time to help them out, being ever mindful of their attachment to things that hold dear memories for them and their feelings of self-worth (no one wants to hear, "Hey, your place is a mess!"

Be gentle and help them understand safety issues and how cleanliness and order can make their lives easier. 

Gift Away the Things You No Longer Need

Let's face it: most of us have too much stuff. And, there are many out there who don't have enough. 

Give away some of the things you no longer need, use, or wear. Others would be grateful to have the items, and saying goodbye to them will help you by clearing space and clutter.  

Create Surroundings That are Worthy of Esteem

Deliberately surround yourself with positivity. Seek out positive people, conversations, books, and music – you'll be pleasantly surprised as you watch your spirits rise with your surroundings. 

Pay attention to:

• Who you spend time with 
• What media you consume 
• What your home looks like 
• The state of your purse, your car, your desk, your kitchen. 

Dress to Express, Empower, and Impress Yourself - and Others 

Sometimes self-esteem comes from the outside in. 

Our style, the clothes we wear, the way we carry ourselves can speak volumes - and, every time you look in the mirror, you'll hear it and be influenced. 

You don't have to be a fashionista to feel good about what you wear – psychological comfort goes a very long way toward defining your style and empowerment. 

Some women feel more comfortable in sportswear, while others love lace and pearls. I have friends who are never seen out of heels and New York chic, and still others who live in sandals and sundresses. 

Style is a form of self-expression. When we value and appreciate our own fashion choices, we feel more confident, and we build a sense of pride in our appearance.

• What makes you feel good about yourself? 
• What colors make you feel vibrant and happy? 
• What fabrics make you feel comfortable? 
• Which outfit do you put on that makes you look in the mirror and say, "Wow, I look beautiful!"

Self Esteem Comes From Our Actions, but Also Our Thoughts and Feelings

Self-esteem comes from DOING Esteemable Acts, and it's an esteemable act to be conscious of your actions. So stay mindful always and ask yourself, "How will it make me feel about myself if I do this (or don't)?"