Make Any Decision in Under 60 Seconds

The Real Problem Behind Indecision

How long did it take you to decide what to wear this morning? What about that email you’ve been drafting and redrafting for the past two days? Or maybe it’s that opportunity that you’re thinking about, the one you’ve been thinking about for months now. Here’s what I know. You’re not indecisive. You’re exhausted. And let me tell you what you’re exhausted from. You are exhausted from running every decision through a thousand different lenses. What will people think? What’s the right choice? What if I’m wrong? What would she do? What’s the safe option?

And so while you’re deliberating and researching and asking for more opinions, guess what? Time is passing. You’re missing out on opportunities and you’re reinforcing something that I know you don’t want to be true. I can’t trust myself to decide. So in this episode, I’m sharing a tool, my decision filter that allows me to make any decision in less than under 60 seconds, and my learning to decide quickly and confidently might be the most valuable skill you’ll ever develop. So let’s dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where our motto is simple, elevate your self-image, elevate your life. I’m Tonya Leigh, your hostess, and I’ll guide you to become the woman who doesn’t just dream bigger. She lives bigger. Let’s dive in.

Why Smart Women Overthink Decisions

Here’s what I’ve observed after working with thousands of accomplished women. The women who struggle with decisions aren’t the ones who don’t care. They’re actually the ones who care deeply. They’re intelligent, they’re thoughtful. They can see multiple perspectives and possibilities. They understand nuance and consequences, and that’s exactly what slows them down. Because here’s what happens. Your brain treats every decision like it’s life or death. Every decision carries the possibility of being wrong. And to your brain, being wrong equals danger. What if I choose the wrong path and waste time? Or what if I make the wrong move and people judge me? Or what if I say yes to this wrong thing and it derails everything?

So your brain does what it’s designed to do. It tries to protect you by gathering more data, more opinions, more certainty. Your brain will say things to you like, “Let’s research this thoroughly,” or, “Let’s ask everyone else what they think,” or, “Let’s make absolutely sure before we commit.” And this is where intelligent women get stuck because the more you think, the more variables you see. The more options you consider, the harder it becomes to choose and the more opinions you gather, the more confused you get. So you’re not indecisive. You’re just, I don’t know, overcalibrated. Your brain is running too many simulations, considering too many outcomes, weighing too many perspectives. And while you’re doing all of this sophisticated analysis, opportunities are passing you by. The moment closes, and the decision often gets made by default, which is to say it probably doesn’t get made at all.

The Hidden Cost of Not Deciding

So here’s the truth that most people don’t want to hear. You’re so afraid of making the wrong decision that you make no decision at all, which is ultimately the worst decision you can make because nothing changes, nothing moves forward, nothing gets learned. I personally would rather make what people may call a bad decision, learn from it quickly, and then redecide than spend months or years paralyzed without gathering real life experience that only comes from deciding.

So let me be very direct about what indecision is costing you. It’s costing you time. Those days that you spend deliberating, that’s time you could be actually creating, building, experiencing, enjoying. It’s also costing you energy. Every unmade decision takes up mental space. You’re exhausted because you’re carrying around dozens of open loops because you haven’t decided. It’s also costing you opportunities. While you’re thinking about it, someone else is probably doing it. And while you’re researching, the moment passes and while you’re asking for more opinions, the door sometimes closes.

It’s also costing you confidence. Every time you can’t make a decision, you reinforce this belief that you can’t trust yourself, that you need everyone else’s input and that you’re not capable of knowing what’s right for you. And to me, the biggest cost in all of this is it’s keeping you from learning. When you don’t decide, you don’t learn. You stay stuck in theory instead of gathering real data from real life.

Now, when I think about my own life, my story, one of the reasons why I think I’ve been so successful in life and in business is that I typically have been someone who makes decisions quickly. I don’t overthink things. I just decide, I move, I learn, I readjust, and I trust. Let me share with you why I think I’ve been able to be someone who makes decisions quickly. I’ve always believed, and I teach my clients this all of the time, the most important decision that you make. It’s not the first decision, it’s the second one. Here’s what I mean by that.

Whenever I decide something, I immediately make a second decision, which is how am I going to feel about this decision? So if I decide to move to a new city, which I did, what, several years ago, I didn’t spend time doubting and regretting and second guessing myself. I immediately decided to feel confident in that decision. I got all of my energy behind that decision, and that allowed me just to keep the momentum going towards what I wanted to create.

So with me deciding how I’m going to feel about my decisions, it has allowed me to develop this confidence in making decisions because I can manage my mind, I can decide how I’m going to feel about whatever decision I make.

Why Fast Decisions Come From Clarity (Not Certainty)

But a few years ago, I started asking myself a different question, and that question was, how can I make better decisions? I just didn’t want to make fast decisions and hoping that they would work out. I wanted decisions that came from a solid foundation, decisions rooted in clarity rather than just speed and confidence. And that’s when I had a light bulb moment. We were in a leadership meeting and someone brought up a big decision that we needed to make, and it felt so complicated. There were a lot of factors to consider. And then we were like, “Hey, let’s run this through our decision filter.”

In my business, we have a decision filter. It’s this set of criteria that every major decision gets filtered through. Before every meeting, we read it and it consists of our values, our mission, our vision, and our standards, and we have specific questions that sort of encapsulate those. So for this particular situation, we ran the decision through the filter, and within 30 seconds, the answer was so obvious. Crystal clear, there was no debate, there was no deliberation, it was just pure clarity. And I thought to myself, “Well, why don’t I do this for my life?” I had been making quick decisions, which was good, but I wanted to make quick decisions from that solid foundation. I wanted the speed and the certainty that comes from alignment.

And here’s what I discovered. Fast decisions don’t come from certainty, they come from clarity. You’ll never be 100% certain. You cannot predict the future. You cannot guarantee an outcome, but you can be clear. You can be clear about what really matters to you. You can be clear about who you’re becoming. You can be clear about what you value and clear about what you’re building. And when you have that clarity, when you have a filter, decisions become so simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple because you’re not trying to find the perfect choice. You’re asking, “Does this align with my filter?” If it’s a yes, do it. If it’s a no, don’t, it’s done.

And then you move into the most important decision that I talked about earlier, when you decide, decide how you’re going to feel about it. Now, let me be honest about something. Creating a decision filter requires you to know yourself. Really know yourself. Not what you think you should be, not who other people want you to be, not who you were five years ago, but who you are now and who you’re becoming. And that takes time to gain clarity. It takes a level of self-awareness, but once you have it, everything gets easier because most of us aren’t struggling with the decision itself. We’re struggling because we don’t have a framework for how to decide.

So we default to what feels safe or what others think we should do. We may default to what we’ve always done or what requires the least amount of effort or courage. Sometimes we default to endless research that never actually feels like enough. But women who make powerful decisions fast, they have a filter. They know their values, they know their vision, they know their standards, and they run every decision through that lens.

Think about it. When you’re deciding on a restaurant, for example, you’re not just thinking about the food, you’re asking, “Does this create the experience I want?” When you’re choosing an outfit, you’re asking, “Does this reflect where I’m going?” When an opportunity comes up, you’re asking, “Does this belong in my future?” Simple questions, fast answers.

The 5-Question Decision Filter

So here’s what I did and here’s what you can do too. I created my decision filter and I want to share the five questions that I personally use to make decisions in under 60 seconds.

Question One

Question number one, does this align with my values? You must know what your values are, what matters to you the most. And I always encourage clients, three values. Five max, but three to me is like the secret number. So I know for me, my values are beauty, connection, and inspiration. Every decision gets filtered through these three things. Let me give you a real example. Last year, Fonz and I were debating on where to go for dinner and he threw out a few options and my choice was obvious because I thought about my values. I asked myself, “Does this restaurant have great ambiance?” To me, that’s beauty. Can I possibly connect with some really cool and inspiring people? We usually like to sit at the bar because that’s where the interesting conversations happen. So I was thinking about that atmosphere and to me that’s connection and inspiration.

So we chose a restaurant based on my values. And you know what happened? We ended up meeting this amazing guy at the bar that night. And after dinner, he even invited us to a Hornet’s game and he gave us his box seat tickets. To me, that’s what happens when you make decisions from your values. Life just gets way more interesting and it definitely feels way more aligned. Another example, when I’m shopping, I run purchases through my values. Does this reflect beauty? Will it help me feel more connected to myself? Does it inspire me when I look at it? And if it doesn’t hit at least two of my three values, it doesn’t come home with me. So that’s the first question.

Question Two

The second question is, does this belong in my future? This is such a powerful question. I’m not asking, is this perfect? But I’m asking, do I see this person, this opportunity, this thing in my future? So for example, when someone offers me a speaking opportunity, I ask, does this belong in my future? If I can’t see it fitting into the vision that I have for where I’m going, it’s a no. If it’s a good opportunity, even if someone else would kill for it, I will still say no because it’s not their future I’m creating, it’s mine.

So when I’m deciding whether to hire someone, I ask, does this person belong in my future? Not are they qualified? That’s like baseline, but do they belong in the business I’m building? When I’m choosing how to spend the weekend, I ask, does this kind of weekend belong in my future? Binge watching Netflix, probably not. Not always, but most likely not. But taking a beautiful walk or going to play pickleball or relaxing with Fonz, all of that belongs in my future. This question cuts through so much noise because it forces you to think about trajectory, not just this singular moment. So that’s question two.

Question Three

Now question number three is, does this honor my standards? Standards are your non-negotiables in different areas of your life. For example, I have a standard around shopping. It is this. 90% of my purchases need to have a low cost per wear. So when I’m looking at something expensive, I ask myself, will I wear this at least 30 times? Well, it depends on the price, but the cost per wear is like how much value I’m getting out of that piece. So if it doesn’t have a low cost per wear, it doesn’t meet my standard and it’s a pass.

I have a standard around my energy. I don’t say yes to things that drain me. So when someone invites me to something that sounds exhausting, even if it’s a good opportunity, it just violates my energy standard. So for me, it’s a no. I have a standard around my time. I don’t do business with people who don’t respect my schedule. So when someone doesn’t show up consistently or is always canceling and it’s running late, that relationship doesn’t continue because it violates my standards. If I’m like, “Should I let this person go? Should I work with them?” It’s just so clear to me. You see, your standards will be different than mine, but when you’re clear on them, decisions become so obvious. When something bumps up against your standard, it’s an instant no, no deliberation required. So that’s question three.

Question Four

Question four is an important one, and it’s this, what one piece of information if I had it would make this decision clear? This one is critical because it addresses something that so many women struggle with. How do you know when you actually need more information versus when you’re just stalling? So here’s what I ask myself. What one piece of information, if I had, would just make this decision clear? Not five pieces, not endless research. One. If I can name it, for example, I need to know the budget or I need to talk to this one person or I need to see the contract, I go get that information quickly and then I decide. If I can’t name it, if the answer is vague, like I just need to think about it more, I need to do more research, that’s fear usually. That’s stalling. That’s my signal to just decide now.

Let me give you an example. I was recently looking at a business opportunity and I kept saying, “I need to think about it.” But when I asked myself this question, what one piece of information would make this clear, I realized I couldn’t name anything specific. I had all the information I needed, I was just scared and that told me everything. The answer was no, and I was stalling because I didn’t want to disappoint someone. This question cuts through so much noise. It helps you distinguish between legitimate information gathering and then resistance that is usually disguised as due diligence. So that’s question four.

Question Five

Now for the final question, this one’s important, is it a yes in my body? Your body knows things before your brain does. Your brain will rationalize everything. It will talk you into things that aren’t right for you and it will talk you out of things that are. And your brain is very convincing, but your body, your body tells the truth. Here’s how to know the difference. When something is a brain yes, you’ll often feel tightness, tension, maybe your jaw clenching, maybe your shoulders start to creep up, maybe your stomach is in knots. Your brain is saying yes, but your body is saying, “I don’t know about this. I need to step back and reevaluate.”

But when something is a full body yes, you will feel expansion, you’ll feel openness. Maybe you take a deep breath without even thinking about it. Maybe your shoulders drop and you just feel lighter. Your body is saying, “Yes, this is right.” I even think about how this plays out with your brain because your body will have this immediate sense of expansion, but your brain will get involved and it will scare you out of the decision that you know is right for you. I was recently offered this partnership opportunity and on paper it looked amazing. My brain was listing all the reasons to say yes, but when I sat with it, my chest felt really tight. My breath felt shallow. That was my body saying no.

I’ve also had the opposite thing happen. Someone pitched me an idea that seemed risky and my brain immediately went into fear mode, listening to all the ways it could go wrong, but my body, my body was excited. It was open. It was alive. It was a body yes. So you need to learn to listen to your body. It knows.

The Practice

Now, let me show you just a simple way that all five of these questions work together with a real example. So last year I was in Milan and I was walking into this beautiful vintage shop and there it was the most interesting, unusual, stunning, vintage Gucci bag. It was absolutely gorgeous. The leather, the hardware, the craftsmanship. You know the feeling when something just catches your eye and it won’t let it go? Well, that was this bag, and it was $1,500.

Now, a few years ago, I would’ve either bought it impulsively because I loved it or I would’ve agonized over the decision for days going back and forth, asking everyone else’s opinion, making myself crazy because usually the things that I was most indecisive about were the smallest of things. But I have a filter now, so I ran it through and I want to walk you through each question so you can see how it works.

So question number one, does this align with my values? Yeah, it did. One of my core values is beauty, and this bag was objectively beautiful. And to me, part of beauty is also quality. And this was a vintage Gucci, not the ones that they mass produce now, but it was really well made. So that was a yes to one of my values. As for inspiration and connection, I could make an argument for those two, but let’s just say it passed my values test.

So then I moved to question number two. Does this belong in my future? Now, this is where it started to get interesting. I asked myself, the woman I’m becoming, the one who’s clear, intentional, who curates her life, does she own this bag? And here’s what came up for me. The woman in my future absolutely has beautiful bags, but I already own so many gorgeous ones. Does she need another bag? When I really looked at my future self, I didn’t see this bag there, and that gave me a pause.

And so then I moved to question number three, does this honor my standards? So here’s my standard, as I shared before, 90% of my purchases need to have a low cost per wear, and I aim around $10 or less. Now, if you’ve never heard of cost per wear, let me explain what it is. It’s a way of looking at what something actually costs based on how much you’ll actually use it.

So instead of just looking at the price tag, you’re asking, “What’s the real value for me here?” Because that $1,500 bag I wear twice a week for years, that’s to me, actually a better investment than $150 bag that maybe I’ll use 10 times and then toss. Cost per wear helps you see the difference between price and value. So when I took $1,500 and I divided it by $10 per wear, it means I need to use it about 150 times to make it worth it. So if I used it twice a week, that’s about 100 wears per year. So in 18 months or so, I’d hit 150 wears, cost for wear, $10. So yeah, technically it passes my standard, but only if I actually use it that much.

So then I moved to question number four. What one piece of information, if I had, would make this decision clear? For this bag, I realized I needed to know, is this a fair price? So quickly, I pulled out my phone right there in the shop and I did a Google image search. I looked at the original cost and the current market value for this specific piece. And what I found was, yeah, it’s a fair price, not a steal, but not ridiculous. Just, I don’t know, fair. So now I had that information. That question was answered.

And then I moved to question number five, which told me everything I needed to know. Is it a yes in my body? And when I tuned in, I mean really tuned in, it was not a full body yes. It was a, “You know what, that’s beautiful.” It was a, “I could see myself carrying that,” but it wasn’t a clear, expansive, full body yes. My body actually just felt neutral and neutral isn’t a yes. So right there in that vintage shop in Milan, I made a decision. I didn’t buy the bag. And then I made the most important decision. I decided how I was going to feel about it. I immediately decided to feel proud of that decision. Not, maybe I should have bought it or it was such a unique piece or I’m missing out or I’m probably going to regret it later. No, none of that.

I just chose to feel proud that I honored my filter, proud that I didn’t buy something just because it was beautiful or unique or a good deal. I was proud that I trusted myself enough to say no to something that I thought I wanted. And what a decision filter gives you is the confidence to make a decision and move on. No second guessing, no confusion, no weeks of what if, just clarity, just action, just living your life instead of constantly deliberating about it.

So here’s what’s going to change when you start using a decision filter for your life. You’re going to get hours of your life back, hours that used to go to deliberation you’re now going to use it to create. You’re also going to notice that your confidence skyrockets because every time you make a decision quickly from your filter, you reinforce the belief, “I trust myself. I know what’s right for me.” Your life is going to get better actually, not because every decision’s perfect, but because you’re actually moving, you’re living, you’re trying new things, you’re learning, you’re adjusting.

But here’s the most powerful result. You will make better decisions now than ever before because you’re not just deciding from confidence, you’re deciding from that clarity, from alignment, from that solid foundation. And listen, when a decision doesn’t work out, you learn quickly and you redecide. There’s no drama, there’s no spinning, there’s just learning and moving forward.

So I want you to remember this. Indecision is a decision and it’s usually the worst one. So let’s have a conversation in the comments below. I want you to ask yourself, “What would be possible for you?” “What do you think your life would look like if you were able to decide in 60 seconds or less?” And then more importantly, “What would it be like to make the decision?” That’s the most important one. Think about making decisions and then deciding how you’re going to feel about that decision because that’s what gets the momentum going. You will find yourself making faster decisions, better decisions, but most importantly, you will be learning so much along the way.

Have a beautiful week, my friends, and I’ll see you in next week’s episode. Cheers.