I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and... I believe in miracles.
Mary Anne, a beautiful, vibrant 63 year old woman, was dying of breast cancer. I had the honor of being her nurse and by her side in the intensive care unit, where we'd spend hours talking about life, love, death and lipstick. Yes, lipstick.
Mary Anne loved putting color on her lips. When I’d walk into her room to start my shift, I’d often find her with her beautiful engraved mirror, lining her lips and putting on her lipstick du jour. One day, I overheard her son ask, “Mom, why are you putting on lipstick?”
“Son, I may be dying, but that doesn’t mean I have to look like hell while doing it. When I check out of this world and into my next, I want to look my best.”
Two days later, Mary Anne died.
When everyone had left her room, I went over to her bedside table. There it was. Chanel’s “Beige du Chanel.” That was her go-to color when the priest would come to visit. It only seemed appropriate for this occassion.
I took off the cap with the double C logo and put some fresh lipstick on Mary Anne’s pale lips, and I secretly thanked her for one of her life lessons: there’s power in a lipstick.
What’s so powerful about lipstick? Well, the way I see it (thanks to Mary Anne), everything is energy. For example, if you want to have a bad day, try this. Wake up, don’t shower, sit around in a sweatsuit that should have been laid to rest a decade ago, don’t put on makeup, eat a Sara Lee grande blueberry muffin and a Diet Coke, don’t exercise and, please, whatever you do, don’t put on lipstick.
In fact, a few weeks ago, my daughter woke up and went to school without any attention, whatsoever, to her appearance, which is quite unusual for her. “Are you OK,” I asked.
“Yep, I just don’t really care today,” she said.
When I picked her up, her day had only gotten worse. “It was the worst day ever,” she said.
“Well, dear, do you think it had anything to do with how you started your day with your “don’t care” attitude,” I asked.
“Probably,” she said.
The next day, she stepped out looking her very best. Before she got out of the car, she asked me for some lipstick. I handed her some Bobbie Brown and sent her out into the world knowing that her day would be much better. It was.
Now, let me be clear. I’m not advocating self-obsession. And, lipstick may not be your thing. What I am suggesting is that it’s up to you to create your life. No one is going to knock on your door and make you feel better. It must come from within by deciding that you are worth it and then making the decision to put your best self out into the world.
If you want to set yourself up for a successful day, get up, spend some time with yourself, sit and dine on something delicious, journal and set your intention for the day, shower, find an outfit that looks great on your body the way it is right now, and put on some lipstick.
A good lipstick (or any act to increase your confidence) says to the Universe:
I care.
I embrace being a woman.
I have style.
I pay attention to details.
I welcome beauty and miracles into my life.
I use lipstick to help me create the feeling I’m after.
For example:
Tom Ford Scarlet Rouge: what I pull out of my purse when I want to feel like a femme fatale.
M.A.C. Angel: perfect for those days when I desire to feel like, well…an angel.
NARS Catfight: this is my go-to every day lipstick.
My friend, Jenny, joked about how I used lipstick to help me finish the Chicago Marathon: “When everyone else was pulling out energy goo from their fanny packs, Tonya was pulling out her lipstick.”
It’s true, and I swear, it helped me get through mile 18.
Putting on lipstick takes 10 seconds. Not a lot of time for the benefits it brings. There’s no excuse for not taking some time to look and feel your best. If Mary Anne, who was dying, can do it, so can you. It’s powerful. It will change the way you act in your world, and as a result, your world will become very different.
Now, I’m curious. What is your favorite way thing to do or put on to feel more confident? And, if you have a favorite lipstick, do share ;).
With Kisses,
Tonya
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For me, it is perfume or essential oils. I love Omar - very heavy, sultry scent. Luscious!
Beautiful!
A dress and high heels. My 'wonder woman' costume if you will. 🙂
Love that visual Talia!
So stealing that expression! Love a dress and high heels too! 💋
The Cartier watch that I acquired at an auction. My favorite lipstick: Chanel Rouge Coco, n. 5, Mademoiselle. Have a happy stay in Santa Barbara, baci,
Celeste
Thanks Celeste! Loving Santa Barbara. Your confidence boosters are oh-so-luxurious :).
A beautiful ring [not necessarily expensive], high heels and a splash of Chanel No.5. And always lipstick!
Ellen, this sound like simple luxury!
Yes! I'm essentially invincible with a red lip. My favorite is Lancome's 181N Rouge Saint Honore. Perfect and everlasting.
The red lip is definitely a style statement.
I like wearing red to boost my mood and confidence. And as for lipsticks, my signature is pink in loud: L'Oreal's Intense Fuschia most days and MAC's Russian Red for passion invoking days.
I have Russian Red in my bag right now. xoxo
I'm a Mary Kay Woman when it comes to choosing cosmetics. My favorites are Berry Kiss, Appleberry and Amber Suede.
Lovely Kelly!
For me, it's my hair. I have a tendency to fall in a ponytail rut and I feel so much more confident when I take the time to style it and wear it down.
I like lipstick too, but it doesn't give me the same boost that a hairstyle does 🙂
Nothing like a fresh, styled hair.
For me, it's putting on my wedding ring and a necklace that my husband gave me for my first birthday after our wedding. And wearing heels 🙂
Hana, love that your confidence boosters are also a symbol of your love.
Well ladies, having worked for Chanel for many years, I have to say I love Chanel lipsticks! Rouge Coco Shine in Boy is a fabulous go to color for almost anyone! My all time favorite was the discontinued Pink Accent. Currently I'm loving the new Rouge Coco in Elise.. Tres magnifique!!!
Donna, I'm loving the new technology of the Chanel lipstick. The one I bought in Paris had a very clever push/pull technology.
Your post reminded me of my beautiful mother. When I was a child, she used to load my brother and sister and me into the car to go to school or do errands, but before she started the car, she'd tip the rear view mirror toward her and apply her Revlon red lipstick. Now, whenever I apply my own lipstick, (Clinique's Angel Red)it brings me back to the magical moment my Mom become a movie star right before my eyes!
That's such a beautiful memory Sheila. Isn't it fascinating how we remember the small, but significant things?!
My absolute must is MAC M'Orange and even the sales ladies at the cosmetic counters say "I love your lipstick. What is it?" so I know I'm onto a good thing. Been wearing it for years and can't live without it - oh and a fabulous perfume, heels and jewellery
Susan, my motto is: if it's working, don't try to fix it. xoxo
Hi Tonya, Great post! Tom Ford should get a Pulitzer prize for lipstick. Hooray for Spanish Pink! Another go-to for me is Lancome's Le Lipstique lip pencil with brush in Sheer Raspberry. xo, N.
I don't know why, lipstick just doesn't do it for me. I even feel more tight and constricted and blasé when I wear lipstick, like I can't do anything and I'm obsessed all the time with if the lipstick is making my lips look cracked and dry, or I want a drink of water and I don't dare take one because I hate leaving lipstick stains. I hate seeing lipstick stains, so I hate leaving them too. I have to dress up my eyes. People are always saying that your eyes are the windows to your soul so if you want to attract attention, dress up your eyes, because they are framing and showing off your soul. I love black rimmed eyes. I live in a fairly small town where everyone looks the same and no one wears makeup, and people do give me black looks for wearing "too much" eye makeup and "looking like a goth or a punk". Or they remind me that I am the mother of impressionable children and I should give them a better example and "fit in" more, that I'm not a rebellious teenager or at least, I shouldn't act like one. I do try to stay away from people like that but I AM a mother now and that means that I DO have to go to PTA meetings sometimes and see those people. Sorry for rambling so much.
When in doubt: wear lipstick!
my go to lip gloss is Marvelous Moxie by Bare Minerals. I have the sexiest mouth! Also having my eye makeup on and standing tall!
I don't wear a lot of lip stick but I love Burt's Bees tinted Lip Balm. Honey Suckle, and Rose are my favorite at the moment.
My must are mascara, lip balm and body spray. I never leave the house without them.
I have shared this with the group before, but I refer to my luscious red lipstick as my "Power" Lipstick" When I am having a challenging day at work, I will put it on and immediately my mood shifts. It's gotten so bad that my boss and coworkers will tell me to put it on if they see me a little low. Now other gals I work with will do the same and one guy pulls out his "Power Chapstick", lol
Michele, we often overlook the very simple things that can have a big impact on our mood. So glad you've discovered the power of your lipstick! Keep rocking the red (and your life)! xoxo
My Spirit Elevators: essential oils specific to what I want my mood to be(I always get asked what I'm wearing because they smell delicious), waterproof Mascara, Neutrogena tinted lip balm in Posey for everyday, MAC RubyWoo is my power red, YSL lip stain in a bright fuschia is my Celebration color since I discover in for my wedding! So fun! This post and writing this response is actually turn around my energy this morning. I had a rough night and woke up pretty challenged - even talking about lipstick is transformative. Lol!
Sunglasses are my go-to confidence-booster, with lipstick and earrings close behind.
My mom used to nag me about putting lipstick on. All. The. Time. I don't know, I just couldn't be bothered, much like your daughter that day! I figured I'd eat it off when I had food or leave it all over the straw (something my mom was- and is notorious for) and I always hated it. I still have to kick myself to bother to put it in, but after this post.. Burt's Bees Rhubarb lip shimmer.. It's all I had in my bag, Work in progress lol!
Any of my Milani lipsticks. My current favorite is Cabaret Red.
Tonya, I'm exactly the same! I am never without lipstick! Someone commented on me wearing to go running ... but seriously, I don't feel the same without it.
My fave is Mac Cremecup .. Although, you've got me googling catfight now.
Katy xx
I loved this post, Tonya! I definitely agree with you about the power of a lipstick although lipsticks are a routine for me (I'm a part-time makeup artist)but I totally understand how much they transform a woman's mood. On the other hand, since I always do my makeup when I start my day, I cannot leave the house without few drops of perfume. I have a rather big perfume wardrobe (I collect vintage and rare perfumes) and every day I wear what inspires me most like the weather, the temperature, the people I'm going to meet during the day. For me wearing a perfume is like entering in an other world full of exciting emotions and possibilities that allow and motivate me to be the protagonist of my daily life. Today, the temperature is extremely high and my mind hasn't stopped wandering ahead to the summer holidays. So, I put on some drops of Guerlain, Terracotta and I felt like being somewhere in French Riviera! I suppose that this is a nice feeling to start my day!
Black mascara and high heels!!
And the woest thing that can happen to me: bad hair day!
For me it is Russian Red MAC and grapefruit essential oil. While I may layer it with other oils, it is my go to in starting my day feeling great!
Love this post! 🙂 In England, we say tea, biscuits and red lipstick won the war, as women used their red lipstick to cheer themselves and each other up and keep going! I vividly remember my Nan telling me that, and she always wore lipstick even when at home for the day. For the ladies who don't like the texture or lipstick stains, can I recommend 'lipfinity' by Maxfactor, it's a lip stain, not sticky, and lasts all day - my favourite colour is Angel 😇
Have a lovely day ladies, and don't forget to shine! 💋
My magic formula is: a weekly blowout, Mac Lady Bug ( I walked into Mac in Paris because I forgot my lipstick! I asked the artist for the perfect red for me, she looked very closely and in a second picked this out, it is the perfect red❤️) and fragrance. That's my signature and I always feel together when I do this.
It's so nice to know that so many other women feal the same, thank you all for sharing!
J'adore. Just can't leave home without it. It's amazing how people react to me when I'm wearing this scent. All positive.
Totally agree with you, Tonya! I'm blonde and recently went on a quest for a great red lipstick, ending up with Mac Ruby Woo. The men in my life seem to be *hypnotized* every time I wear it! You are absolutely right about the power of a good lipstick. Makes me want to go shopping right this minute to find more great colors!
Another essential for me when I want to elevate my energy and feel special -- a light spray of Chanel No. 5. I've been wearing it for over 20 years. Sometimes I try to find another scent I like as well, but I always come back to it. It's true classic elegance.
I have always wanted to wear red lipstick but was told my lips are too thin and small. They only come to the edges of my nose. Plus I smoke so I don't wear lipstick because I don't want a "ring" lol. Then I heard about lip stains. I had a 40% of makeup coupon so I figured I wasn't out anything buying a lip stain....in RED!!! I LOVE it and get lots of compliments on it 🙂 While wearing it I smile more! Which increases my confidence!
Moi I love a bold bordeaux shade. I don't have a go to brand but the shade always stays within that bracket. However, when I wanna feel oolala I spritz on some perfume, even before bedtime. yes... I grew up knowing, the same as MaryAnne from my grandmother "always look your best, you never what will happen" 🙂
xx Menellia
I love perfume and wear it everyday. Flower Bomb is my favourite. Merlot by Nutrimetics is my go to lipstick. It is just the right intensity of colour. I have discovered eyebrow pencils, what a difference putting on eyebrows makes to my confidence. Cx
This may be the most powerful blog post I’ve read yet! I shared this on my FB Page! So poignant! And so important for modern women to read.
My favorite lipsticks are by Besame Cosmetics! I own almost all their shades, but my favorite is Red Hot Red, a shade from 1959 that was worn by Marilyn Monroe. 💋
Hi Tanya
First of all, thank you so much sharing this speechless concept for you I like your skin concept it very effective helpful for me ..but can you please me to know what is the best lipstick for me
this topic is very intersting thank you very much for sharing.