The Attitude Store

Did you know that there is a place called the Attitude Store? Yeah, it’s a place that we can all visit, and that is what we’re talking about in today’s episode.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here’s your hostess, master life coach Tonya Leigh.

What is happening, my beautiful friends? I have the biggest smile on my face right now and I don’t know why. I’m just happy. So many good things happening, I cannot wait to share them all with you. But some of them are what I like to call in process, meaning I’m in process of doing things that I’m not quite ready to share, but stay tuned. More to come.

We just welcomed in new members to the School of Self-Image. I am so excited for these ladies’ journey that is about to happen. And I’m also excited for all of the members who have been with me since we started the school and getting the success stories that are coming out of the work that they’re doing. These women are creating their own after stories. So fun.

So, recently, I’ve had an incredible nine-year-old girl come into my life. And recently she was in what we will call a bad mood. She was frustrated. She was irritable. Things we all experience. She’s not alone.

But I came up with this concept out of the blue. And since I’ve shared it with some parents, I’ve shared it with some friends and they’re like, “This is genius,” and so, of course, I had to share it with you. So, let’s talk about the Attitude Store.

So, when this little girl was having her attitude of frustration and irritability, I said to her, I’m like, “Oh my goodness, did you pick up the wrong attitude at the store?” And she looked at me a little confused and she said, “What are you talking about?” And I said, “Well, there’s this store that we can all go into and it has every attitude that you can imagine, and I think you actually bought the wrong one. But did you know, you can go into the store and you can return it for the attitude that’s going to serve you, that’s going to feel better, that’s going to move you forward?”

And she said, “Well, I don’t want this attitude. I want to trade it in for a happy attitude.” And I said, “Well, let’s go to the store right now, and we’re going to turn it in and we’re going to get the happy attitude.” And it changed her demeanor instantly.

And then, just yesterday, I was having a bad attitude. I was off. I didn’t feel good. I was moody. And there have been times in my life where I would just have spiraled in those moods. But I realize, our attitude is a choice. It is something that we get to pick on purpose. And for me yesterday, there was no upside to how I was feeling.

And so, I took myself to the attitude store and I decided that I wanted to trade in my bad attitude for one of gratitude. Because there is always something to be grateful for. But it’s crazy how our brain is wired to take us to the worst-case scenario, how one comment can set us off and we ignore all the thousands of other incredible comments. Or one person’s behavior can set us off and we forget about all of the incredible things this person has done.

Our brains are messy. And that’s why we have to manage them like a CEO. We have to take responsibility and accountability for our attitudes that we bring into this world.

So, what is an attitude? Well, an attitude is a set of feelings, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors towards a particular object, a person, thing, or event. And they’re often the result of our past; our past experience, our upbringing.

And they have a powerful influence over our lives. And the good news is, attitudes can change. But I want you to think about this in relationship to the store. So, oftentimes, we get accustomed to, let’s say for example, wearing certain types of clothes. We’ve worn them for so long. We can’t imagine ourselves in anything else.

So, any time we go into the store, maybe for example you always go for the black – the black pants, the black dress, the black top – because that’s familiar to you. You can’t imagine yourself in a polka-dotted dress. Black, you think, is your color.

And so, you go into the store and you automatically go for the black. But what if that black is no longer serving you. What if it’s keeping you in a rut? What if it’s keeping you stuck?

But then when you look around in the store, you’re like, “Well that’s not me. That dress over there doesn’t fit who I think I am.” Or maybe you think, “That dress is too expensive,” and so those kinds of thoughts cause you to always go back to the black.

But I want you to imagine that you can have anything in that store. There are no limits. There are no money objections. Anything in that store, you can have. What would look best on you? What would you choose if you didn’t know you always wear black?

And that’s what it’s like to go to the Attitude Store. Maybe for a long time, you’ve had an attitude of pessimism. Maybe you’ve had an attitude of doubt. Maybe you’ve had an attitude of being angry and you’ve been wearing these attitudes for so long, whenever you go into the store to buy something new, you always choose the same thing.

But what if you tried on something else? It’s going to be uncomfortable for a while. It’s going to feel very unfamiliar, only because you haven’t been wearing it. But you know what? If you gave yourself a chance, it would look so good on you. It would look good. You would feel better. And it would evolve your self-image, which is what all of my work is about.

And as you evolve your self-image, you’re going to be creating different results in your life. And those results are going to reconfirm this new attitude that you’re trying on. But I can’t talk about the Attitude Store without talking about its sister store, which is the Thought Store. I use this with clients all the time.

So, if you think about your attitude is this sort of set of emotions and the behaviors that come from that, well then what creates those emotions? Your thoughts. Your thoughts create how you feel. And so, you need to go into the Thought Store and ask yourself, “Of all the thoughts that are in the store available to me right now, why would I ever choose to pick this one up and pay money for it and walk out the store knowing it looks awful on me? It’s not going to help me create the results that I want. It’s going to hold me back.”

The Attitude Store and Thought Store go hand in hand. And I ask myself this all of the time when I find myself in a bad attitude. I look into my own brain as to why. And there’s always a bunch of thoughts that I’m thinking that just don’t serve me. And do you realize, you get to decide what you think? You get to decide what thoughts get beyond your red velvet rope.

So, some of the thoughts that you’re thinking right now are holding you back. They don’t serve you and they’re building up to create these attitudes that are affecting your life. And hey, listen, I just realized something, because this podcast is just sort of coming through me. As I talk about it, I’m getting new ideas. And what I just realized is that some of us are in the wrong store altogether.

We’re over here shopping at Walmart when our soul wants to be in Chanel. We’re picking up our attitudes at places that are low-quality when we need to be walking into different stores altogether; stores that are selling the thoughts and the attitudes that serve us.

Now listen, I have nothing against Walmart. In fact, one of my first jobs was at a Walmart. I’m very grateful for Walmart because they paid me for a while. But when it comes to our attitudes and our thoughts, I do not want us shopping at Walmart, ladies. I want us to be in the best stores that are full of quality, full of things that are going to move our lives forward, that serve us, that support us.

I want us to walk into Attitude Stores full of quality attitudes. So, right now, without judgment, I just want you to ask yourself, “What is my attitude?” Do you like it? Is it serving you? Because what a lot of you are doing is you’re wanting the world to change first so that you can change your attitude.

You’re wanting people to behave differently. You’re wanting to maybe have more money. You’re wanting your body to look different. You’re wanting to be in a different place than where you are. And so, because you’re not there yet, you are using that as a reason to have a bad attitude. But remember, like attracts like.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re in a bad mood, there seems to be more things to be in a bad mood over? It’s like it just builds and builds and builds. If you want your attitude to change, you must be the one to change it before anything outside of you changes.

But then, what you’re going to begin to notice is that as you show up and you’re putting more good energy into the world, you’re going to be attracting more good energy into your life because life is like a boomerang. Whatever you throw out there is coming back at you.

Do you like what you’re putting out into the world? Do you like what you’re projecting? And as a result, do you like what you’re seeing in return?

I have to take myself to the Attitude Store sometimes a few times a day because I realize I’ve picked up an attitude that just doesn’t serve me. But I love knowing that I have the option, that life isn’t happening to me, that I’m the one creating it.

My attitude is my responsibility. And thank goodness for that, right? Because if it was the world’s responsibility to change my attitude, I’d be in trouble. Because most people can’t even manage their own and I’m over here wanting them to change so I can feel better? I don’t want to give anyone that power. And I don’t want you to either.

What you must know is that you can visit the Attitude Store any time, any hour, it’s open 24/7 and it’s full of whatever you want. Are you choosing your attitude on purpose? If not, I want you to walk in that store right now, return that attitude that you picked up by mistake, and decide on purpose the kind of attitude that you want to have.

Have a beautiful, beautiful day, my friends. I love you and I cannot wait to see you in the next episode.

Hey, have you grabbed your free copy of the School of Self-Image Manifesto? If not, what in the world? Head over to schoolofselfimage.com/manifesto and get a copy that teaches you how to think and show up in the areas of mindset, style, and surroundings so that you can transform your self-image.