The day I decided to quit nursing, everyone thought I was crazy.

My mom was worried – about my future, about all the hard work I’d put in.
My co-workers were confused. “Why would you leave a good job?”
Even a doctor laughed on my last day and said, “Good luck, Coach Tonya.” 🙃

And I’ll be honest – I was scared, too.

I had flashes of me and Sarah twenty years down the road, struggling… regretting this one bold (or maybe reckless?) decision.

Because nursing came with things we’re taught to chase:
✔ Security
✔ Consistency
✔ Benefits
✔ A guaranteed paycheck
✔ A clear, predictable path

But none of that felt alive to me anymore.
I was being pulled towards something very different.

So I walked away.

Scared. Unsure. But clear.

Because that day, I decided to have my own back.

And almost two decades later, here I am – sitting in the energy of a woman who kept that promise to herself.

What they couldn’t see… was the fire in my belly.
The vision I held, even when it was foggy.
The life I knew I was meant to live – one that couldn’t be neatly boxed into a schedule or job title.

They couldn’t see the late nights I’d work – not because I had to, but because I wanted to.
The times I’d fall flat on my face and get back up.
The way I’d choose my Future Self over temporary comfort.
The kind of unshakable self-trust that only comes from choosing yourself – again and again.

That’s what it means to have your own back.

Not being fearless.
Not being perfect.

But being willing to believe in yourself when no one else does.

Even when you don’t fully believe yet – having the audacity to act like you do.

If I could go back and tell that version of me anything, it would be:

➡ You’re not crazy.
➡ You’re courageous.
➡ You’re not giving up security. You’re choosing sovereignty.

Because the version of you who has her own back?

She’s unstoppable.

With love,

Your Own Best Friend

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.

~ Nora Ephron

Who’s the person you call when everything falls apart? Who believes in you when your dreams seem impossible? Who forgives your mistakes without keeping score?

If your answer isn’t “me,” it’s time to change that.

Being your own best friend means showing up for yourself the way you’d show up for someone you love. It means choosing your Future Self over temporary comfort and refusing to abandon yourself when things get hard.

J. Crew Linen Pants

I’ve reached that stage in life where I don’t want to wear anything that doesn’t feel incredible. Are you with me? These J.Crew Linen Pants have become my go-to for days when I need to look put-together but also want to be comfortable.

The 100% linen fabric and adjustable drawstring waist mean I can sit through long meetings, chase after life-changing ideas, and still feel like myself at the end of the day. They’re proof that you don’t have to choose between looking polished and being comfortable.

Sometimes having your own back is as simple as buying the pants that let you move freely while you’re creating the life of your dreams.

[Summer Series] Having Your Own Back

I’m diving into the life-changing concept that Maya Angelou inspired in me years ago – and why mastering it has brought me incredible peace.

In this episode, I share what it actually looks like to trust yourself enough to make bold decisions, and how having your own back opens up possibilities you never thought were available to you.