Twenty years ago, I was standing at a nurses’ station at 5AM under fluorescent lights, thinking: “Is this it? Is this what my life is going to feel like? Just getting through it?”

It wasn’t that my life was terrible. 

I had people I loved, work that mattered, a roof over my head. 

But I wasn’t enjoying any of it – I was enduring it.

Looking back now, I can see that I was in a completely conditional relationship with my own life.

I had thoughts like: 

When I lose the weight, then I’ll enjoy getting dressed. 

When I get a better schedule, then I’ll enjoy my weekends. 

When I have more money, then I’ll enjoy my life.

My life? Well, it was just sitting there like, “OK, I guess we’re both waiting then.”

I don’t remember the exact moment it hit me, but somewhere in those late-night shifts, I saw how ridiculous that was. 

I was the only one with the power to change this dynamic. I was waiting for my life to give me permission to enjoy it, when really, I needed to give myself permission to enjoy my life.

That realization shifted something deep inside me.

I decided to stop negotiating with my life. To stop putting conditions on my enjoyment. To bloom where I was planted instead of waiting to be transplanted somewhere better.

I started small. 

I brought interesting books to read on my breaks. I packed beautiful lunches and ate them under an oak tree outside the hospital.

All that energy I’d been spending resisting my life was freed up to dream about what was next.

That’s when I decided to go to sommelier school, which led to food writing, which led to… well, here.

The woman who decided to enjoy her life right there, under those fluorescent lights? She’s the one whose life became extraordinary.

Discover the shifts that transformed how I see my life.

With love,

I’m done negotiating with my life. 

I’ll be happy when. I’ll relax when. I’ll enjoy myself when. 

There’s always a condition, always a demand before I give myself permission to feel good. 

When I stop requiring my life to change before I can enjoy it, everything opens up.

Anthropologie Icon Juice Glass

I absolutely adore this Anthropologie Icon Juice Glass. Yes, I know it’s a trendy item, but it reminds me of my mom’s chickens, and I can’t help but smile every time I see it.

There’s something about drinking my sparkling water from this little glass that feels like a tiny celebration. Enjoyment really does live in the smallest choices.

How To Enjoy Your Life More

Have you ever found yourself saying things like, “I’ll be happy when…” or “I’ll enjoy myself after…”? If you’re like many women I’ve met, the answer is yes. 

Most women are in a constant negotiation with their own lives – always putting conditions on their own joy. And, I’ve been there, too.

In this week’s episode, I’m sharing the shifts I made that took me from a woman enduring her life to a woman genuinely enjoying it. This is a must-listen for anyone tired of postponing her own happiness.

// TheEDIT

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