The 4 Essentials of an Elegant Closet

Have you ever stood in front of your closet, surrounded by clothes but felt like you had absolutely nothing to wear? If so, you are not alone. Today we are going to explore the concept of an elegant closet, this curated space that not only looks beautiful, but also simplifies your life and boosts your confidence. Are you ready to transform your closet from a source of stress into a personal sanctuary that truly reflects who you are? If so, let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, master life coach Tonya Lee.

Hello, my beautiful friends. Welcome back to another episode of the School of Self-Image podcast. I am so delighted that I am recording this in my home, in my new office, and there are no people around. It has been quite the journey, you all. We moved in almost two weeks ago, and they still were not complete with the house. And so it seems as if I've had people in my house every single day doing these little things. And trying to work and record podcasts has been quite the challenge. But today has felt like a normal day of me getting back to work and doing it in a place that I've been planning for almost two years. It feels so good to finally be home.

Part of how I spent last week was in my closet. When I was designing this house, I knew that I wanted a closet that truly reflected me. And it's interesting, because Fonz went down the street the other day to another house that is being built and he was telling me about their closet, and he was like, "Oh my God, it's so huge." I thought my closet was big, but it turns out there are much bigger closets out there. But this closet is a perfect size for me. If it does not fit into this closet, it does not belong in my life.

When I was designing my closet, what I wanted was an elegant closet. And it turns out elegance isn't big. It's not massive. It's not over the top. It's about curating a closet that allows the beautiful expression of you. When I think about an elegant closet, it is a curated collection of clothing and accessories that effortlessly reflect your true style. It meets your lifestyle needs and it brings you joy every time you open the door. It is not about having the most expensive items or following every trend. It's about creating this harmonious space that simplifies your life and elevates your self-image.

And so today in this episode, I want to share with you what I consider to be the four essentials of an elegant closet. Think of it this way. An elegant closet is like a well-written sentence. It contains everything you need, nothing you don't, and expresses who you are beautifully.

Now, why should you strive for an elegant closet? Well, let me tell you. I think the payoff is huge, both financially and emotionally. Financially, an elegant closet actually saves you money in the long run. When you have a well-curated wardrobe, you're less likely to make impulse purchases or buy items that you'll never wear. You will shop with intention, investing in quality pieces that last longer and actually serve you better. For example, instead of buying five cheap sweaters that pill after a few wears, you might invest in one high quality cashmere sweater that lasts you for years. Over time, this approach actually reduces your clothing expenses. And then emotionally, the benefits I think are even greater. Imagine starting each day feeling confident and put together, rather than stressed and overwhelmed by all of the choices. An elegant closet eliminates decision fatigue, it boosts your self-esteem, and it sets this positive tone for your day.

I remember visiting a French friend for the first time. I went to her house. And to me, she was the epitome of that effortless chic look. And quite honestly, I was expecting to see a big closet with a lot of choices, but what I found was an armoire filled with very curated quality pieces that she just knew how to mix and match and make the most of what she had. She had a lot of attention to details. She had great accessories, she had some beautiful bags, but she didn't have a lot of things.

And so I came home on this mission. I was like, "I want to live my life more in this way," because I remember buying a lot of purses that were low quality and the handle would be falling off after a season. And so I had a lot of stuff, but I never had that put together feeling. So I came home with a burning desire to have an elegant closet. And I just want to be clear. I think sometimes when I say elegant anything, that maybe your mind goes to ... Oh, she must be talking about a little black dress and some pearls and some heels. No. Remember, an elegant closet is fit for you and whatever your style is.

And by the way, if you don't know your style, have you taken the soul style quiz yet? If not, what in the world? It is so good. We've had so many women reach out and say, "This quiz really nailed who I am, and gave me some really important tools and tips on how to express that through my clothes." So if you haven't taken the quiz yet, go to schoolofselfimage.com/stylequiz. All together. Schoolofselfimage.com/stylequiz.

But back to what I was saying. An elegant closet isn't the style of the clothes in your closet. It's really about you intentionally choosing pieces that fit you and your lifestyle and what you value, and making sure that everything that hangs in your closet is something that you love and you actually wear and use.

And this was something I deeply, deeply wanted for myself. I was so tired of having a closet full of clothes with nothing to wear. Y'all know what I'm talking about. You're like, "I should be able to put together an outfit with what I have, but it just feels so hard to me." Well, turns out having an elegant closet solves for that problem. And let me tell you, it feels so good to be able to walk into your closet and get dressed for the day with confidence and loving what you have. Not to mention how much easier it is to pack for a trip. Packing for a trip used to be a project for me. And now, I seriously can do it in no time because of an elegant closet.

So let's explore the four essentials that will help you create this elegant space in your own home. The first essential of an elegant closet is to choose quality over quantity. Now, I know what you might be thinking. But Tonya, I love having options. And trust me, I get it. I used to be the queen of ... But it was on sale purchases. But here's the truth bomb. Having a closet bursting with clothes doesn't mean you have more options. It also means you just have more confusion. Think about it. How many times have you stood in front of your packed closet feeling overwhelmed and unsure of what to wear? It's because when we prioritize quantity, we often compromise on quality, both in terms of the clothes themselves and how they make us feel.

So what does it look like to choose quality? Well, it means investing in well-made, timeless pieces that you absolutely love that will last you maybe decades. I have clothes in my closet that I've had for two decades that still look as good today as they did the day I bought them. It's about you choosing items that make you feel like the very best version of yourself every time you put them on. They fit your style, they fit your lifestyle, they really embody who you are and what you value.

And here's where fit comes in, because it's crucial that when we talk about quality, we also talk about the fit of clothing. A well-fitting garment can make you look and feel like a million bucks, even if it didn't cost nearly that much. For example, I have this simple black blazer. It is not the most expensive item in my closet, but it fits me perfectly. The shoulders sit just right, the waist nips in at the perfect spot, and the length is spot on for my height. Every time I wear it, I feel polished and confident.

On the flip side, however, I had this designer dress that I got on sale. And I thought I was going to love it, but turns out the fit was all wrong for me. It never fit quite right. Can you relate? I'm sure you have some of those in your closet too, but I kept it because of the price. Even though I did get it on sale, it was still a significant investment. But I never felt great wearing it. That's not quality, regardless of the price tag. So when you're choosing quality pieces, always prioritize fit. If necessary, you may need to budget for alterations. A $50 dress that fits you perfectly will serve you far better than a $500 dress that doesn't quite work.

So here's a challenge for you. Next time you're about to buy something, ask yourself, "Do I love this? Does it fit me well? Does it fit my style? Or am I just trying to fill a void?" Because let me tell you, no amount of cheap thrills can fill the space that's meant for true quality pieces that resonate with your soul.

The second essential of an elegant closet is versatility. This is the one that I feel like I have finally mastered, and it has been such a game-changer. This is where the magic happens. When you have a versatile wardrobe, you suddenly unlock the secret to having something to wear for every occasion without needing a closet the size of a small country. Versatility is about choosing pieces that can be mixed and matched to create multiple outfits.

This is something that we spent a lot of time on in the Style Experience. And women are always so amazed at how they can create sometimes 30, 40 outfits with just a few pieces of clothing, and I show them exactly how to do it. It's the art of turning that one amazing blazer into a powerful outfit for work, a chic ensemble for dinner, and a cool casual look for weekend brunch.

I like to think of my pieces in my closet as a family, and they all need to get along in order for us to do well. And so when I'm shopping now, I always think about my closet as a whole and where this piece fits. Occasionally, I will buy that one-off crazy aunt who ... She's the life of the party but she doesn't quite fit in with everybody else. But those pieces are very, very rare. The majority of the time, I want to purchase pieces that can pair with so many things that are already hanging there. And when I'm thinking about it, I'm always thinking about the fit. I'm always thinking about the colors. If you'll look in my closet now, you will probably notice a palette of colors that work well together. And this is how I've been able to master the art of packing as well. When I pack for a trip, I can get a lot of looks out of a few things because they all work well together. They're very versatile.

But here's the key. Versatility does not mean boring. It doesn't mean having a closet full of black and white basics. It means thoughtfully selecting pieces that complement each other and can be styled in various ways. Let me give you some examples of versatility in action. Take a classic white button-down shirt. You can wear it with tailored trousers for a business meeting. You can tuck it into a skirt for a dinner date, or throw it over your swimsuit as a beach cover-up. And then you add in beautiful accessories. You can take that one shirt and create so many different looks with it. Or consider a well-fitted pair of jeans. You can dress them up with heels and a blazer for a night out or keep it casual with some sneakers and a T-shirt for running errands. The possibilities are endless.

One of my favorite versatile pieces is a silk scarf. I can wear it around my neck, I can tie it to my handbag for a pop of color, I can use it in my hair. I even use scarves as tops and skirts. It's one of my favorite pieces to pack for vacations, especially in the summer. I can tie it over my bathing suit and wear it like a sarong. I can create a shirt out of it. I can do so many things with that one piece of material. In fact, here's a little fun fact. One of my favorite pieces in my home right now is I've turned one of my favorite scarves into a piece of art. It's hanging in my dining room. It is absolutely beautiful. You can do so much with a scarf. It's one item with so many uses. And the beauty of a versatile wardrobe is that it not only simplifies your life, but it also encourages creativity. It's like having your own personal styling playground right in your closet.

Now let's talk about essential number three of an elegant closet, and that is style alignment. This is where things get really fun, because an elegant closet isn't just about looking good. It's about feeling good, feeling like you. Personal style alignment means ensuring that each piece in your closet is a true reflection of your authentic self. It's about curating a wardrobe that aligns with your personal values, your personal goals, your lifestyle, and the image that you want to project not only to the world, but back to yourself.

This is why I love using style as one of the elements of transforming your self-image. One of the ways that I literally changed how I saw myself was to change what I saw in the mirror, to confirm back to myself who I wanted to be and who we really want to be deep down, I think, is who we really are. It's getting back to yourself. Personal style alignment isn't about following trends or trying to fit into someone else's idea of style. This is about tuning into what makes you feel confident, comfortable, and fabulous.

Here's an example. I love the look of high heels. And for years, I kept buying them because I thought they were a must-have for an elegant wardrobe. But the truth is I didn't wear them a lot because they weren't comfortable for my lifestyle. I was always running around, and heels just weren't practical. Now, I still love a beautiful pair of heels, and I still have my little coveted collection. And I wear them occasionally, but the majority of my shoes need to fit not only my style, but also my lifestyle. I want to have pieces that work for me. I want to own things that I'm actually going to use. And so I had to reevaluate my relationship with heels. I had to discover the ones that actually worked and were comfortable instead of trying to force myself into shoes that hurt.

But it also caused me to explore and to experiment with other footwear that not only fit my style, but also worked in my everyday life. And I discovered that I actually love sneakers. I think sneakers are so fun, and there are so many different styles of sneakers, and you can dress them in so many fun ways, and they feel good on my feet. That to me, is an elegant closet. It's something that feels good on you, makes you feel like a million bucks, and works for your life. It is something that you can use on a regular basis instead of stocking your closet with things that you can only wear every once in a while. And yes, again, I still have some heels that I love, but the ones that I own now are comfortable. They work for me.

So here's a little exercise for you. Take a moment to think about the clothes that you feel most you in. What do they have in common? Is it a certain color, a particular cut, or maybe a specific fabric or texture? That is your personal style speaking to you. Style alignment isn't about conforming to some external standard of elegance. It's about finding what makes you feel like the best version of yourself. And when your closet is aligned with your personal style, getting dressed becomes a joy, not a chore. You're not just putting on clothes, you are expressing your true self. And let me tell you, there is nothing more elegant than authenticity.

Now, for our final essential number four of an elegant closet, we are talking organization and maintenance, because even the most carefully curated wardrobe can turn into a mess if it's not properly cared for. Organization isn't just about making your clothes look pretty in the closet, although that is a nice bonus, I'll have to admit. It's really about creating a system that allows you to see and appreciate everything you own. It's about treating your clothes with respect and preserving their elegance. This may mean investing in good hangers or organizing by color or occasion or even doing a seasonal rotation. You have to find a system that works for you and stick to it.

This is an area that I will admit have struggled the most in my style journey, and I've tried a lot of different things. And the key is finding what works for you. Finding the system that supports how you think, how you live, and then committing to that system. And just know that when you do this and you open your closet and everything is in its place, it totally changes your tone for the day. It allows you to feel more confident and more comfortable in your clothing decisions.

But I'm going to go ahead and admit that this has been probably the hardest part of my style journey, staying organized with my clothing. And it was the piece that when I finally got it, it changed everything. I have tried so many different things. I've tried having a capsule collection. I've tried organizing by color. I've tried organizing by season. And I have finally found what works for me.

And if you're in the Style Experience, I will share everything with you. I will bring you behind the scenes in my closet and show you the nuts and bolts of how I stay organized. And by the way, the Style Experience is returning this fall. We are going to have so much fun. I'm going to take you behind the scenes. We are going to identify your personal style. I'm going to show you all of the tricks of styling outfits and really creating an elegant closet. That is the goal of the Style Experience. So stay tuned. I will be sharing more about that later.

But when it comes to creating an elegant closet, there is one thing that I did early on. I don't do it any longer because I don't feel the need to because I understand my clothes now, and I have streamlined what's in my closet and I wear what I own. But I find that this is a useful organizational tool when you're first starting your style journey for you to get to know your clothes again. And that is to organize your closet in the beginning of the season in a way that allows you to see what you're wearing and what you're not.

And the way I would do this is that I would turn all of my clothing on the hanger one way at the beginning of a season. And as I would wear it and then wash it, I would return it to the closet with the hanger hanging the opposite direction. That way, at the end of the season, I could see what were the pieces that I wore and what were the pieces that never got any love. Those were the pieces that I knew I needed to let go of, either resell or to donate. And it's a really great thing for you to do if you feel completely overwhelmed by what's in your closet. You don't really know what you should keep. You don't understand what you're wearing a lot of. Do this. I'm telling you, it is a game changer.

The other thing that I am a huge fan of and I still do to this day is I document my outfits. I like to take a mirror selfie, just for me, to really look at my outfits because when you're looking at a picture, you can see more clearly what works and what doesn't work. Is it the proportion? Is it the style? Is it the color? And so I love to use that as a tool to learn about style, but I also love to document the outfits I love. I have an album on my phone for those outfits. The outfits that I put together that I just feel amazing in, because sometimes we forget. We forget that great outfit that we wore on date night a year ago. And when we're feeling uninspired, it's such a great tool to be able to pull out this album and look for those outfits that you can recreate.

And it's especially useful when you're packing and you're trying to come up with what you're going to bring along on your trip to the Caribbean. Well, if you've documented your great summer outfits in the past, you can just pull out this album and be like, "Oh, that's the outfit." And you can go reach for it and grab it in your closet and pack it for your incredible trip.

I also love photo journaling of outfits, because you can begin to identify the pieces that are the workhorses in your wardrobe. And you'll notice them because you'll find that they're showing up in multiple outfits. And so with this insight, you can decide what you want to keep, what you want to donate, or especially what you want to look for when you're shopping. If you notice that you are wearing this one particular white skirt, for example, it's showing up a lot. You love the style of it, you love the versatility of it. Maybe when you're shopping next, you want to add a different color of that same style into your wardrobe. And so that is one of the big benefits of outfit journaling. And then finally, the part I love the most about journaling your outfits is that it becomes this beautiful record of your personal style evolution. For me, it's amazing to look back and see how my style has grown and changed. It's sacred. It represents not only my style journey, but my journey as a woman.

These are just two tools that have helped me to stay organized, because when you are aware of what you own and you're constantly editing your closet, you're going to find that elegance is a result. And FYI, I love to do a seasonal closet edit. Every season, I love to go through and pull out what no longer fits, what no longer is getting the TLC that it deserves, and then I can really strategically think about what pieces that I want to bring in for that season the next year.

Now, let's talk about maintenance. This is a very important part of an elegant closet because taking care of your clothes, washing them properly, mending them when needed, getting alterations, polishing your shoes, these are all acts of self-care. They're ways of saying, "I value myself and I value the things that I've chosen to represent me." As for maintenance, it's worth learning how to properly care for your clothes. For instance, I have a cashmere sweater that's over a decade old, and it still looks great because I've learned how to wash and store it correctly. A little care goes a long way in extending the life of your garments.

So there you have it, my friends, the four essentials of an elegant closet. Quality over quantity, versatility, style alignment, and organization and maintenance. And I want you to remember, creating an elegant closet isn't about perfection. It's about intention, and it's ongoing. It's about creating a space that brings you joy and confidence every single day. So as you embark on this journey of closet curation, be gentle with yourself. You don't have to be perfect. It's okay to make mistakes. I make them all of the time. It's okay to evolve. Your style, like you, is a beautiful work in progress.

And here's a final thought I want to leave you with. Your closet is more than just a storage space. It is a daily opportunity to honor yourself, to express yourself, and to present your best self to the world. And most importantly, to present your best self to you. So make it count. And most importantly, make it fun. Thank you all for being with me today for the four essentials of an elegant closet. And hey, listen, if you haven't taken the Soul Style quiz, go do it. It is so much fun. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/soulstyle. And until next time, here's to elegance, simplicity, and closets that make us all smile. Have a beautiful week, my friends, and I will see you on the next episode. Cheers.

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