Why I'm Pressing Pause (and You Might Want To, Too)

Have you ever felt the urge to just disappear? Not because you're giving up, but because you're ready to realign, to get re-inspired, to just get reinvigorated. Well, in this episode, I'm pressing pause on something, not on my mission, but on the noise. It's a moment for me to step back, breathe, and reflect on what's next. And I'm sharing it in this episode, and I'm also sharing signs that maybe you need to pause too. So, let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, master life coach, Tonya Leigh.

Hello, hello, dear friends. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. I am feeling so inspired. I am feeling so expansive and joyful and just excited about the future, and this is coming off of a period where I was feeling the opposite of a lot of those things and I share that with you because when you are in a state of misalignment and it just feels like everything is hard and things just aren't working out, and you just don't quite know what the issue is, it's so easy to just think that this is the way things are, it's the way things are going to be.

But having been through so many of those seasons and seeing the pattern now, what I know is that if you stay committed to staying with yourself, which means not emotionally abandoning yourself and just staying curious about why you're feeling the way you're feeling and making the necessary tweaks and adjustments, you're going to get back to a place that's even better than where your last high was. And that's how I'm feeling right now. It's almost like I broke through to this next level of my own self-image. And during the time that I've been doing a lot of introspection, I've taken a step back and asked myself, what do I want to continue doing? What do I want to stop doing? And what do I want to just pause for a moment, just to reassess, realign, and to give myself space to breathe and to dream and envision what's next?

And so, last week on the podcast, I told you all that I was going to be making an announcement today. And the time is here for me to share with you the decision that I've made, and it was a hard one. It was a hard one to make because when you've done something for so long, it just becomes not only a part of your identity, but you can begin to think, oh, this has been part of my success. And so if I stop it, maybe I'm going to lose the success. And fear will keep you in decisions that no longer serve you. And so, what came up for me is that I need a break. I need to take a step back, get re-inspired, get out into the world, live more, connect more, read more, enjoy more, just more of life. And I know from having done this previously that what will come out of it is going to be better than I can even imagine.

One of the concepts that I talk about often is you need to expose yourself to things. And for any of you that are feeling low energy, uninspired, unmotivated, and you keep trying to do the same things, hoping that that's going to get you to a different energy, it just doesn't work like that. At some point, you need to press pause so you can realign, so you can ask yourself the hard questions, so that you can see things more clearly, so that you can get re-inspired, so that you can get aligned. And so, the thing that I am pressing pause on for the summer is this podcast. Yes, my weekly podcast, I'm pressing pause on. But there is a caveat because one of the things that I talked about last week was when I am making decisions, one of the questions that I always ask is, what is a win-win?

What will be a win for me and a win for you all that love tuning in every Wednesday to listen to the podcast? And when you ask yourself powerful questions, it reveals powerful answers. And what came out of me spending some time journaling, thinking, and envisioning a win-win for all of us I think is going to be so much fun. What I'm going to be doing this summer is what I'm calling the summer series of podcasts. And I've been podcasting for a long time, you all. I'm almost 500 episodes in. So, that's 500 episodes of almost weekly. In the beginning, I wasn't doing quite weekly, but over the past many years, like five or six years, I think it's been every week I've been doing a podcast. There's a lot of knowledge, a lot of wisdom, a lot of experiences, a lot of content to support your self-image journey.

And so, what came to me is that while I won't be producing any new podcast over the summer, I want to revisit some of our favorites. So when I say favorites, I'm talking about my favorites, the team's favorites. We even asked the members what their favorites were, and I'm going to be reintroducing those to you. So, there will be a new intro where we visit the topic from the perspective of who I am today, which is going to be super fun. I cannot for the first one next week. It is cringey and also beautiful at the same time, and I'll share more about that in the next week's summer series episode.

But I just think it's a great way for those of you who haven't listened to all of the podcasts, it's a chance for you to catch up on some of our favorites, as well as for those of you who have maybe listened to every episode, and I know some of you are listening right now who you've literally listened to every episode, a chance to go revisit them through a different lens, through a different perspective, and probably through a different you because who you were at the beginning of listening to the podcast is probably very different than who you are now.

So, I'm really excited to press pause on creating a new podcast every week over the course of the summer, but also delivering some of the older, most beloved episodes with a new twist of me seeing it through my own eyes in a different way. And so, it's going to be a lot of fun. And to add to it, the win-win is, I thought, wouldn't it be really great to create a guide to support you all over the summer and beyond? This guide will be applicable no matter if you're listening to this episode in December, because when you have almost 500 episodes, people often ask, "Well, where do I go for this? And what if I'm feeling this? Do you have a podcast for it?" And so, I created a guide that I think you're going to absolutely love. We were on our team meeting last week, and Jamie, who is our copywriter and also content manager and project manager, she went off on vacation while I was producing this guide, and she came back and she was like, "I was expecting this to be a two-page guide."

It's over 60 pages with so much valuable shifts, content, recommendations, and I want to gift that to you. So, all you need to do is go to schoolofselfimage.com/guide. You're going to see the podcast divided into core concepts, elegant success, stylish living, vibrant well-being, and magnetic presence, as well as you're going to get to visit some of my most beloved episodes and the team and the members. It's a very comprehensive guide that will support you over the summer while I take a summer break from the podcast and diving deep into some of the past episodes. So, I'm really, really excited. So again, go to schoolofselfimage.com/guide to get your free download. So good. Another idea that came to me when I was thinking about creating a win-win. So, a win for me, taking a break from creating new episodes, as well as a win for you, is exciting as well.

I'm telling you all, when you begin to look at your life through this win-win filter and ask yourself better questions, you start to come up with so many creative ideas, and one of my core values is connection. I love connecting. And I feel like with this podcast, it's sort of a one-sided connection where you may be connecting with me, but I don't necessarily get to connect with you through conversation. So, what I decided to do, I'm super excited about. I will be going live throughout the summer on my Instagram. So, if you're not following me, head over to @tonyaleigh. Make sure to follow because we will be announcing when I'm going to be going live throughout the summer to talk about these episodes, to talk about maybe how my perspective has changed on them, to talk about how they are still applicable, how I'm applying them, how to dive deeper into the concepts.

It's going to be a lot of fun and just a way for me to connect with you all to have conversations, to see your names and faces, so it's just not me talking to you in your ear every week, but us really having conversations around these very, very important topics. So again, to get the announcements of when those are going to be happening, make sure you're following me @tonyaleigh. We'll be posting it on my stories, letting you know when I'm going live, and it's just a way for me to stay connected with you and to explore all of these ideas around your self-image, the one thing that is influencing every area of your life. So, super, super excited about that. Now, I want to talk about taking a pause because some of you may be hearing me and thinking, oh my God, I so desperately want to take a pause.

And so, I want to talk about when pausing is the right thing to do and when pausing might be just your subconscious sabotaging you. So, let's start when pausing is a sign that you may be sabotaging. The first sign is that you're calling it a pause, but really it's just procrastination. You are sitting around waiting for clarity, confidence, or the perfect time, but none of those really arrive when you're standing still. Sometimes, the next step creates the clarity that you're waiting for. Clarity comes through action. When you take action, you realize that worked, that didn't work. I want more of this. I want less of this. And so many people are sitting at home trying to figure that out in their head with the same brain that's creating so much drama around it, when in reality, taking action is what is needed. You don't need to pause when you are procrastinating.

You need to get into action. And when I think about the podcast, I've been doing it every week for years and years, so I know me pausing is not me procrastinating. It's coming from a very different energy, which we'll talk about in a moment. The second sign that your pause might be sabotage is that you say you're reflecting, when in reality you're just avoiding. You're endlessly journaling, tweaking, planning, but you're not moving and you tell yourself it's self-care. But deep down, it's just self-protection. At some point, reflection has to be translated into action. Sign number three that your pause may be sabotage is that you're using the pause to stay safe. You really just fear judgment, rejection, and failure. So, you hit pause under this illusion of being intentional, but really you're just trying to outrun discomfort. If your pause feels like you're hiding, it might be time to step into the light. Okay?

Sign number four is you're mistaking confusion for a reason to stop. How many of you are not taking action? You're taking a pause waiting for clarity. You're telling yourself you're confused, and so, I need to pause so I can figure things out. Listen, you do not need a ten-year plan to take the next step. Waiting to figure it all out is just this delay tactic dressed up as wisdom. Messy action often opens the doors that you sitting around and waiting for clarity will never open. It's just like I was saying before. Clarity comes through the action. So if you are pausing because you're confused, that's usually a sign that you need to take some action. And then finally, you feel worse the longer you stay paused. This is a telltale sign because the pause is actually meant to restore you. It's not meant to drain you.

And if you're feeling restless and irritated and uninspired, it's a sign that your pause is not the answer. Your answer is to take action, to get that momentum going in your life. It's your soul whispering you're meant for more. So, that's how you know when your pause is just sabotage dressed up in a fancy outfit. But let's talk about some signs that it might be time to press pause. The first sign is your body is signaling you. You aren't just physically fatigued. You are emotionally and energetically fatigued. It feels like your nervous system is tapped out, your creativity feels flat. You're showing up, but you don't feel present. And when you're in those moments, sometimes pressing pause, even if it's for a week, to have some fun, to get out into the world and try new things and meet new people, to be exposed to new ideas, sometimes that is what is needed.

Again, we sit at home with the same brain trying to solve problems, when in reality, we need to get out into the world and get new ideas, new perspectives, new belief systems that will get us aligned so that we can create momentum in our lives. And so if you're energetically just feeling off, again and you've been showing up. This is not you're energetically off and you've been sitting at home pausing. This is if you've been doing the work, showing up, and things just don't feel right and just feel flat, take a pause. It's okay. We all need pauses sometimes. We all need to get reinvigorated. We need freshness and newness and expansion, and that doesn't come from continuously trying to do things from a contracted state. So, that's sign number one. Sign number two is you're busy, but you're not fulfilled. You're constantly moving, but it's not meaningful.

You are checking off tasks, but nothing really feels like progress. You are productive, but it doesn't feel aligned. A pause gives you chance to create space for clarity. It gives you a chance to slow down long enough to ask, what am I doing that I don't want to be doing? What do I need to be doing, or what do I want to be doing that I'm avoiding? What's really important to me during this season of my life? What do I value? Maybe you need to reassess your goals. One of the things that we're doing in the membership, or we did it last month by the time you're listening to this, but we did a mid-year reset where we just stopped and were like, "Listen, are we on the right track here? Is this where we want to be heading?" Sometimes, we need to take that pause so we can get the clarity so that we don't continue going down a path that's not for us.

Another sign is that you feel like you're forcing what used to flow. Everything takes more effort than it used to. Ideas feel dull. Your content may feel flat. You're not inspired. You're just performing. So, sometimes pressing pause is how the spark finds its way back. Again, I want to be clear. Pausing is not quitting. Pausing is giving yourself the space to realign, to re-envision, to re-emerge as a more expansive, inspired, excited, and abundant, joyful version of you. That's the energy that we want to be creating from. So, that's another sign. Another sign, and this is an important one, you feel guilty for even considering a pause. You keep pushing because rest feels irresponsible. You're afraid that if you stop, everything will fall apart. But I want to ask you this. What if the real risk is ignoring the voice inside of you that's asking for some stillness?

What if that's the real risk? This is the one that I've been dealing with, thinking about pausing the podcast. It's become sort of a part of my identity. Every week, I sit down and I record an episode, and I've been doing it for years. And so, you begin to think, oh my God, if I stop, am I going to lose everything? If I stop, are people going to be upset? Is it irresponsible to stop? But my journey these days is about being honest and telling myself the truth of things. It's about being true to myself. It's about trusting the power of alignment. It's about trusting my desires. And out of all of that, my truth right now is that I want to take a pause, and I'm excited for it. I feel like after recording an episode every week for years, I'm like, "You know what, Tonya Leigh? You deserve a break. Go enjoy."

And not only enjoy it, but also do it in such a way that it's a win-win. I am so excited to be connecting with you all over on Instagram. I'm so excited to bring these episodes back from the past where I'm going to be doing a little intro for each of them to share with you all of the things that I spoke about before. I'm excited to experiment and try something new. How often do we get into patterns, and because they've worked, we continue to do them just like robots on repeat without ever stopping and be like, "Hey, do I want to continue to do it this way? What if there's a better way to do it? What if there's a more fun and creative way to do it?" And that's what I'm giving myself, the space to consider and to play with.

So if you're feeling guilty for even considering a pause, that's a sign you probably need one, because if you build your life on decisions to avoid guilt, guess what's going to happen? You're going to create a life you do not like. You're going to create a life that's built around pleasing everybody else but yourself. You're going to create a life that doesn't allow for rest and rejuvenation, and that's no kind of life to live. And then, the final sign that I want to talk about that it might be time to press pause is this one. You've evolved, but your life hasn't caught up. Think about it. You've shifted, maybe quietly, maybe profoundly, but your routines, projects, or relationships still reflect a version of you that no longer exists. Pausing allows the new you to take the lead. Even thinking about this podcast, I know when I come back from my summer break from podcasting, I'm going to be different.

I'm already different. I think that's one of the reasons why I'm wanting to take this pause is to ask myself, how do I want to do this differently? What's going to be next for me when I come back? To allow my life and all of the things that I'm creating to catch up with this new version of me. Now, of course, I could be doing it in tandem with podcasting, but that's not what I want to do. I want to give myself some space to dream up something fresh and new and exciting. I want to give myself the space to really slow down and enjoy the season of my life and what I've created, and it doesn't mean that I'm quitting. I'm still working the entire summer, although I am taking a couple weeks off. But as it relates to the podcast, I do want to take a step back and ask myself, what's next?

What do you want to create next? I may come back and it's the same podcast. It may not be. I don't know yet. That's why I'm taking a pause, so that I can let newness, freshness, ideas come to me that really resonate with the version of me that I am today. So, those are some signs that maybe it's time for you to press pause as well. All right, my friends. It's almost time for me to officially pause for the summer. But remember, we're still going to stay connected. I'm still going to be re-releasing an episode every week this summer, as well as going live over on Instagram and also sharing some of the fun things that I'm doing behind the scenes. So, come find me over on Instagram @tonyaleigh, and do not forget to download your free podcast guide by going to schoolofselfimage.com/guide.

And I'm still going to be in your ear every Wednesday, and hopefully I will see you over on my Instagram where we can have some deeper connections. I hope you have the most beautiful, beautiful summer, my friends, and I will see you on the next episode. Cheers.

Hey, before you go, I want to let you know that if you've loved this episode and you want more support in curating your self-image, I've created something just for you. It's a free podcast guide to help you find the episodes that meet you exactly where you are, whether you're craving for elegant success, vibrant well-being, magnetic presence, or stylish living, or maybe you just want to deepen your understanding of the core concepts of self-image work. It's all in the guide. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/guide and grab your copy now. Your next breakthrough might just be one episode away.