[Summer Series] My Work Philosophy

Friends, I recorded this entire intro to this summer series and completely forgot to tell you about something that I created for you. One of the things that we often get asked by members and even those of you who aren't members but you're in the community is what do you use behind the scenes to run your business? And so since this episode is all about my work philosophy, me and my team put together a very extensive resource with the tools, the software, all the gadgets that we use to run this business over here, and put it into a beautiful PDF for you. And so if you want to get a copy, you can go to schoolofselfimage.com/biztools, all one word, biztools with a Z, and see what's going on over here behind the scenes that keeps everything running. I hope you enjoy the resource and I hope you enjoy today's episode where we are revisiting my work philosophy. Let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, master life coach, Tonya Leigh.

Hello, hello friends. Welcome back to another episode where we are deep into our summer series where we're revisiting some episodes from the past and I'm sharing my current thoughts on the topics that we are covering each week, and this week is all about my work philosophy.

So in preparing for this episode, I sat down this morning with my journal and really thought about my work philosophy and has it changed? And if so, how has it evolved? And for me right now, I am so happy in my work life. I'm just happy in my life in general. I feel like I've reached this place where I'm just way more relaxed. I'm definitely more confident. I'm enjoying working as a founder and supporting my team, being more collaborative, but what I know about myself, and probably the same rings true for you if you're listening to this podcast, is that I'm always wanting to up-level, I'm always wanting to grow. I'm always wanting to learn, I'm always wanting to expand. I'm reinventing myself, and when I say that, the reinvention I have discovered is really getting back to who I truly am. And there are so many layers that we take on as we are growing up from childhood to where we are now, and it's really about releasing that and getting to the truth of who you are.

And so I feel like more than ever, I'm closer than I've ever to who I truly am. And so when I was thinking about work and success, what's really interesting is that most people think of success as bigger, better, more and more, and it's very exhausting, and I definitely got caught up in that. I think when you're in this world of personal development and you start going to masterminds and you're hanging out with people who are very money-focused and they're always about crushing that next goal, you can get influenced by that, and I did. I definitely was influenced by that, but it never felt true for me.

Many years ago, I wrote this blog called Your Grand... Wait, wait, Your Petite May Be Your Grand. That's the name of it, and basically, it was about me discovering that in life, what is big to us may not seem big to other people, but who we have to become, how we must grow, what we need to let go of, it will require a lot of us. And the reality is as entrepreneurs, a lot of us, the growth is actually learning to not be so obsessed with money. It's learning to let go and relax. It's learning to slow down and enjoy.

Going harder, bigger, faster is actually very comfortable for entrepreneurs. That doesn't really challenge us. That's our success strategy. It's the mode that we've probably been in most of our lives, and so the growth for me over the last couple of years has been really just chilling out. Really focusing on my why, serving my clients at the highest level, really learning to enjoy the process, managing my mind around those days where I'm noticing them complaining about work and being like, listen, work in and of itself is not hard. I want you to hear me out. It's really not that hard. Think about it. Making a presentation is not hard. It's like, what do I want to say? How do I want to say it? Who do I want to say it to? And then it's showing up, saying the things that you want to say to the people you want to say it to. It's not hard.

What makes it hard is all of the mental drama that we overlay onto our work. Maybe it's like, "I don't think what I have to say is good enough. Everyone's judging me. I'm confused as to what to say." That's what makes work so hard. But when you just into the work and you get out of your own way and you just focus on what's in front of you, work can actually become super fun and super enjoyable, and I just feel like that's the state I'm in right now. I am all about elegant success, so what does that mean? Well, to me, success is living the life I want on my terms. It's living in alignment with who I truly am while creating the results that I am most deeply passionate about. The elegance is just how to do that.

If you look up the definition of elegance, at its simplest form is simplicity and effectiveness, and right now, I am putting together a class that I'm going to be teaching in the membership next month, it's going to be so good, where I'm going to be teaching how I've done this. It's called the Elegant Success Framework. I'm going to be showing members what they need to be focused on in order to create life on their own terms, and doing it in a way that feels fulfilling and exciting and expansive. Not trying to create results and burning yourself out, trying to create results and feeling the constant resistance and scarcity and fear and anxiety around your goals. I'm going to be showing you how to completely rewire your brain so that success becomes something that you can approach with this state of elegance and enjoy the process, and so if you're in the membership, buckle up. We're going to have a good time next month.

But that's what I am so excited about. I'm excited for this new conversation that we have around work, because the reality is we are all working every day. Even if you don't have a job, you are working in some form or fashion. Work is simply, the way I like to define it, is this deliberate application of effort, energy or attention to produce something of value or to accomplish a task. So this encompasses far more than just traditional employment. It can be you working on creative and productive activities. It could be you working on learning and growth. It could be even mental and emotional labor, like learning how to work through difficult situations, work through making decisions or planning or managing tasks that keep your life functioning. All of that is work, and so how do you want to approach your work life?

Do you want to approach it from a place of unworthiness, trying to prove yourself, scarcity, anxiety, or do you to approach it through this lens of elegance? It is all a mindset shift, and I'm telling you all, when you shift your mind around how you approach work, work will take on a whole new form in your life. It'll be something that you're excited about. It'll be something that you feel confident with. It'll be something that you look forward to, not something that you're afraid of, something that you feel is too much, something that you're anxious about. It will just become a part of your life that you know how to navigate through this lens of elegance. And what I know to be true is that my work philosophy has helped me create results that even to this day, I'm blown away by.

Now, I understand how I graded them, but when I think about who I was versus who I am now, I'm like, "Wow, your work philosophy has helped you not only create results," because yes, creating results can be hard, but a lot of people do it. The question is are you comfortable with the results that you've created? Are you confident in the results that you've created? Are you relaxed around the results that you've created? Do you know that you can create more results? And that's where I see so many women sabotage themselves, and that work all comes down to self-image.

If we create results outside of our self-image and our self-image doesn't catch up, inevitably, we will subconsciously sabotage ourselves. Which is why when you begin to see yourself as a woman who creates elegant success, you will know not only how to create results, but you will know also how to sustain them, and that's what we're talking about in the membership next month. And so if this is something that you want to focus on, if you are ready to approach your work from a whole new mindset, if you are ready to add elegance into your days with how you produce your results, if you're ready to feel at home in your success, not be afraid of it but to really honor it, celebrate it and be excited about creating more, come join us in the membership for next month.

You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/join. And if you join now, the cool thing is you'll be able to go through the Self-image Method and the Self-image Studio, which is the foundation of the work that we do, and you'll be ready to hit the ground running when we start next month's topic. So without further ado, let's dive in to this episode from the past on my work philosophy, and I'll see you in next week's episode. Cheers.

Let me just start by saying I love working. I really do. I have been working since the age of eight years old. I got my first job, I worked on a strawberry farm, and I remember I would get 5 cents for every quart of strawberries that I would pick, and I was always determined to pick the most strawberries. It felt so fun to do something that I was rewarded for in terms of money. And then you fast-forward, I worked every summer, I worked on a farm. I worked in the tobacco fields. That was not my favorite. I loved when I'd actually get to work at the tobacco farm because that wasn't as taxing as it was to be out in that heat, suckering tobacco. And then when I was 15, I could get my work permit and get a legal job, and my first job was at a Hardee's, at a fast-food restaurant.

And for any of you that know the Hardee's chain, you know that uniform is so ugly. It's like brown polyester, but I worked the morning shift. I would get up at five o'clock and I would go and work, and then sometimes I'd work the evening shift, but I loved working in the morning, getting it out of the way so I'd have the rest of my day, and I was going to school. And then I went to nursing school and I worked the entire time I was in nursing school, so I am no stranger to work.

So when people say stuff to me like... In fact, someone on my Instagram last week said, "Yeah, that's something a rich person would say." I'm like, listen, I have been working and working hard my entire life, and I will never apologize for the results that I have been able to create in my life, and I want to help women create similar results in their lives. Whatever it is that you want to create, I want to help you have a relationship with work that will help you create those results.

Just last week when we were wrapping up our trip, we went to Paris, Portofino, Italy, Florence, and then we ended in London, and when we were in London, my man Fonz, he wanted to go to a barber to get his hair cut but he couldn't find one close by to where we were that knew how to cut his hair or that he trusted. So I'm like, "I can do this. Let me try."

And so I watched myself work on his beard, work on his hair, and I was like, this is one of the reasons that I have been successful in life. First of all, I am willing to learn. I'm willing to do a bad job, but I'm going to show up and give it my best, and I want to go all in on whatever it is that I'm doing. And so I was working on him like I was a master barber. It wasn't something that I was just like, "Let me hurry up and get this out of the way." I was like, I'm going to go all in and do the best job I can possibly do, and that's how I approach my work.

Now, here's the thing. What I produce is not always the best, but my heart and my intention is, and I know that by doing things, I'm going to learn and I'm going to get better. I know if I continued to cut Fonz's hair, I'm going to learn how to be the best in the world at it, and that kind of mentality, that kind of attitude has helped me create phenomenal results in my life.

When it comes to work, I don't believe any work is beneath me, and I think I learned this from my mom. My mom is just all about getting the job done. Even in my business, I don't think, oh, because I'm the CEO, because I'm the owner, that I can't go in there and do the things that other people are doing. I'm willing to do whatever it takes for us as a team to create the results that we want.

I remember when I worked as a nurse, I had some of my fellow nurses that were so opposed to doing what the nurse's aides were trained to do. We were all trained to do it, but they had this attitude of, "I'm a nurse, I shouldn't have to do that." And I was always the total opposite. I'm like, "Listen, we are here to take care of this patient. If the nursing assistant is busy, then it is our job to get in here and change a bedpan, empty the catheter." And looking back now, I am so grateful that that has been my work ethic and my work philosophy. Nothing is above or beneath me, and I'm not too good to get in and do anything. I can get down and dirty. I can also put on a ball gown and get on stage and speak. It's like, what do we need to do? What are we here to accomplish? Let's do it. Let's go.

And so my work philosophy and what I'm going to be teaching within the membership next month is what has allowed me to, number one, enjoy working as much as I do. Number two, it's allowed me to create results at a quicker pace and do so much more than I've watched some of my colleagues do where they're still struggling, they're not producing that much. And it's also helped me to know where to focus my time, what is most important. It's helped me to create the results that I currently have in my life, and what I can tell you is it's all teachable. I don't have some special trait, I don't have some special gene that has allowed me to do what I do. What I do have is an attitude that has helped me create results and also a methodology that's helped me break down the results I want to create and effectively work on them.

So when it comes to work, a lot of people may think, "Well, I don't really work. I don't have a job," and so you may think that this topic is not applicable to you. You are absolutely wrong. If you're a human being breathing, you're working. Every day, whether you're a stay-at-home mom, whether you're retired, if you're going into an office, if you're running your own business, you're working, because working simply means to produce or to complete a task. What if you could become so good at doing that? What if you could get so good at not being dramatic about it or not feeling resistance around working or having a bad attitude when it comes to your work and truly enjoy the process of working? That's what we're going to be talking about within the membership next month, and if this is something that you've struggled with, you need to be in this membership. Even if you just come in for the month and do this course with us, it will be life changing.

So let me share with you my work philosophy, and this comes from a term that I coined, gosh, 10 years ago, called leisurely hustling. So the way I like to think about it is that there are two parts within every single one of us. There is our inner lady of leisure or man of leisure, and this is the part of us that wants to relax and enjoy and leisure, rest, do what we want to do, have fun, have our hobbies, travel, and I love my inner lady of leisure. But there's also this other part of ourselves that we have, and it's the part of ourselves that wants to have a purpose, that wants goals, that wants to accomplish, and it's when we get out of balance with these two parts of ourselves that we start to resent our work and we stop producing as many results and we feel like we're just not as fulfilled.

And the few times in my life where I thought that the answer was to not have a job and to not work, it was because I was simply out of balance. I wasn't taking care of my inner lady of leisure. And there have been moments in my life where I've been more in that inner lady of leisure and I started to get really restless. I was like, "Oh, I thought this is what I wanted. It turns out it's not." So for me now, when I think about my future, I never imagine a future when I'm not working, and it's because of what I'm going to be talking about within the school next month. It's my whole work philosophy and the work habits that I have that make me enjoy work so much.

And some of you may think, "Well, Tonya, of course you enjoy what you do. Look at what you do." And some of you may even fantasize about doing what I do, and what I can tell you, it's not about the work, because I started developing this attitude when I was working as a critical care nurse that completely changed my life. And I also know there are people in my industry that maybe even you're looking at thinking, "Oh, they've arrived." If I did what they did, then I would want to work as well, and because I know them and I know that we all have human brains and we all have resistance, that they aren't as fulfilled with their work as you think they are. Why? Because wherever you go, there you are, and the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.

And so when it comes to my work philosophy, it is this. You have to honor both parts of yourself. So for some of you all, you may be feeling very unfulfilled, and I've even seen this in my daughter's generation. They're growing up in this environment that tells them that they shouldn't really have to work that hard. They should just be able to go on Instagram and do cute video and thousands come pouring in, and because of that, there's a lot of dissatisfaction, there's a lot of insecurity, and there's a lot of just this sense of not being fulfilled because they're not living up to their potential. And they think the answer is not working, and I'm like, no, that is the answer. Working, producing something, showing up, giving value, being the kind of person that commits to something and follows through, that is how you build character.

So for some people, the answer is to get more into that inner hustler. Find some goals, create a plan, take action, fail, learn about yourself, grow and keep showing up, and the confidence that comes from this process is the best part. Being the kind of person who never gives up, who goes all in, who commits to something is such a beautiful thing.

In fact, I was just at actually one of my dear friends, and she's also a SoSI member, Dahlia. Her husband passed a couple of months ago and I'm actually here in DC because I went to his memorial service. And his name is Justin Constantine, and there were, I don't know, it felt like 600 people in this room at the Army Navy Country Club who stood up and talked about him and his work ethic and his dedication. And this was a man who was shot in the face by a sniper over in the Middle East and who overcame that, and even in the face of struggle, he just kept showing up and his attitude was extraordinary. I walked away from that just wanting to be a better human. His life was such an example of what it means to commit to something and follow through, especially when it gets hard, because that's when you are forced to become the best version of yourself.

And so for some of you, you may realize, "Okay, I've been leisure-ing a little bit too much. I'm waking up, I'm feeling restless. I'm feeling like I don't have a purpose. I'm feeling like I'm just not going anywhere, and I want to do something." You've got to tap into your inner hustler. What do you want to achieve? Where do you want to go? What are the results that you want to create? And start getting more into that energy.

But for the majority of my people, you have not honored your inner lady of leisure. You've been in hustle mode for a long time and you're overwhelmed, you are burnt out, and you think the answer is to give up work, and maybe even you fantasize about going and sitting on a beach and drinking Mai Tais for the rest of your life. I do think you should give yourself the opportunity to go sit on a beach for a moment and catch your breath, but not working is not the answer. Because even if you're retired, you want something to wake up to and something to work towards every single day, something that gives you purpose when you wake up. But when you are in your hustler energy all of the time without honoring that part of you that wants to just slow down and savor and appreciate and enjoy and indulge in this present moment, you start to not only emotionally wear yourself down, but then you start to physically wear yourself down.

And I know there is this idea that we can buy into of like, I'm just going to hustle and when I get to a certain place, then I'll be able to take a breath, then I can slow down. And what I can tell you is that day never really comes. You're always going to be throwing the stick a little further ahead. You don't ever allow yourself to catch it.

And so when I started my business years ago, I decided because I saw other people who were doing similar businesses, similar type of work, and they were not happy. They were stressed out all of the time, they were staying up late hours, they were burning themselves out, and I said, "That will not be me. I want to enjoy this journey. I want to enjoy this process of building my business." And what that meant is maybe I've grown a little bit slower, but what it's also meant is I've been enjoying this journey all the way.

Now, that does not mean I don't have my bad days. It doesn't mean I don't get stressed sometimes, but all in all, I have honored my hustler and my inner lady of leisure throughout my whole business. And what that looks like for me is every day, I make sure that there's time for me. I make sure that I am resting, I'm eating well, and any season in my life where I haven't done this, I've gotten thrown off kilter and I'm like, okay, I got to come back to my philosophy that I know works. It means taking breaks throughout the day. It means taking vacations. I can't remember the exact statistic, but I remember when I read it, I was astounded by how few people take their vacation days. What is happening? We need to honor that inner lady of leisure that's within ourselves so that we can come back and do our best work.

What I can tell you is I never get my best ideas when I'm sitting at my desk in front of my computer trying to come up with it. I get my best ideas when I step away and I'm out enjoying my life. I maybe am on a walk, maybe I'm on vacation, maybe I'm at dinner with friends, maybe I'm just at a coffee shop. It's when I'm away from that energy of work and in my inner lady of leisure that I'm more creative, I am more rested, and I get my best ideas. And then when I am in hustle mode, I am all in. I am working, I'm head down, I am creating results, and I'm going to be teaching you all exactly what this looks like, what my process is. Because I can't go into all of it today, but there are very clear habits that I have that have helped me double, triple what I'm able to create even compared to five, six years ago, because I just keep getting better at this process.

But when I'm in hustle mode, I am in that energy of get it done. I'm not thinking about what I should be doing. I'm not thinking about what happened yesterday, I'm not thinking about what could happen tomorrow. I am focused on the project at hand. It's just like right now, I'm recording this podcast for you. If I don't manage my brain appropriately, my brain's going to be telling me, "You need to hurry up. You've got this next thing that you need to do," or this isn't good enough, or whatever my brain wants to spout out at the time, and I just don't allow that to be an option. I'm like, no, this is what we're doing. Head down, go all in. Do the best you can do and be willing for it not to be your best.

And I'm going to be talking about perfectionism a lot as it relates to our work in the membership next month, but by honoring my inner lady of leisure and my inner hustler, I wouldn't call it a work-life balance because sometimes I'm more in my inner lady of leisure, depending on the season, depending on the goals. Just like for two weeks while I was on vacation, I didn't work at all except for one Instagram. I completely unplugged. I was totally immersed in my inner lady of leisure, and now that I'm back, I'm way more in hustle mode.

So it doesn't look like 50/50, but it's a feeling. You can tell when you're like, "Oh, I'm really just exhausted right now. I need to take care of my inner lady leisure," or, "I feel like I'm not creating the results that I'm wanting to create." Then maybe you need to get more into your inner hustler. But for me, it requires that you're constantly having conversations with yourself, that you're paying attention to yourself, and that you're honoring what you are needing in that moment to help you produce your best work and to help you enjoy your life, and those two can coexist.

For those of you who are within the membership, I want to teach you how to enjoy your work, because as I said earlier, you're going to be working the rest of your life, truly. Even if it's not in a job, you're going to be working in your home, you're going to be working in your community, and so I want to teach you how to enjoy it. And I want you to enjoy the job you have right now because there is no upside to not enjoying it. Because I see this so often with my clients. They're like, "Well, I need to leave this job to enjoy it," and so then they make themselves miserable, and I did that one time.

I was making myself miserable in my nursing career and I thought the answer was to leave it, but I didn't know what to go to. And so one day, I decided. I'm like, "Listen, leaving right now is not an option. I'm only making myself miserable." And I did a lot of deep internal work on learning to love and enjoy the job I was in, and let me tell you all, talk about things shifting around me. Everything began to change. I had doctors requesting me and families requesting me to be their nurse for their patients and their family. I got a promotion.

All of these crazy things started happening. Why? Because I changed within the situation, and I'm going to be talking about that within the membership. I want to teach you on what to focus on to produce your best results. I'm going to be teaching you about scheduling, I'm going to be teaching you about your attitude. I'm going to be teaching you about staying in your own business in your work. We're going to be going through a lot next month, so y'all need to get ready, because working is something that I love so much, and I just love what has been a result of me loving to work so much.

And I know there's so many of you wanting to create results, but then you're telling yourself that you hate work, and so it's so hard for you to create the results that you want because you don't love the thing that will help you create the results. But what if you could fall in love with work? Really think about that question. What if you could fall in love with work? And what I can tell you is it is absolutely a possibility, and you don't even have to change the work that you're in to fall in love with it.

Now, some of you all may get a lot of resistance when I say that. You're like, "Tonya, I hate my boss. I hate my co-workers. I hate what I'm having to do," but what I can tell you, as I said before, there is no upside to that. And you may think that by falling in love with your work, you will never want to leave it, and that's simply not true. What happened for me when I decided I was just going to love the job that I was in and I started to change my attitude and how I was showing up, all of that energy that I had been spending towards resisting and hating on my job, guess what? Now it was like, where are we going to focus? What are we going to do now? And all of that energy now could flow into potential new possibilities.

That led me to sommelier school and then to food and wine writing, then to Paris, then to hiring a coach, because I'm like, what are we doing here? I've got all of these new passions and new things I'm interested in that I never ever would've been able to even see as a potential because all of my energy was going towards resisting and hating my job and feeling miserable.

So if you're in a job right now that you hate, I'm going to invite you to consider, maybe you can't get to a place where you love it but you can at least not hate it so much, and you can free up that energy to be able to channel it towards new possibilities. Because listen, I want us all to be doing work that we love and that we enjoy, but I know from experience, the way to get that and to discover it is not by hating where you are.

I always love to look at our work as a gift, and for those of us who have jobs or companies, that gift is we get compensated, we get to create, we get to wake up every day and add value to the world. And if our job is working at home, what a gift that we get to create a home for our families to come home to and to enjoy. We all work. I want us all to love the work that we're doing.

And if you're not loving it, it's most likely because you haven't been honoring your inner lady of leisure and you're blaming work as the reason why. But what if by starting to honor her, by starting to give her a little bit more love and attention, you could love work more? This is why I've enjoyed my journey so much, is because I have honored these two parts of myself throughout.

Have a gorgeous week, everyone. I cannot wait to see you in next week's episode and maybe inside the School of Self-Image membership if you choose to join us. Take care, everyone. Cheers.

Before you go clicking around trying all the new platforms, just take a breath and borrow mine. If you like this episode, you're going to love the full list of tools that we use to run the School of Self-Image with elegance and some sanity. For the full list of the tools we use, you can go to schoolofself-image.com/biztools. That's B-I-Z-T-O-O-L-S, and grab this resource, because complicated is canceled, my friends, and these days, streamlined is super sexy. Hope you enjoy.