Emotional Magnetism

What are you feeling right now? It’s important that you know because your emotions are like magnets. They are attracting certain people, experiences, and opportunities into your life. And they are repelling others. So, if you don’t like what you are attracting, what you are experiencing, it is essential that you learn emotional mastery. And that’s what we’re talking about in this episode. So, let’s dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here’s your hostess, master life coach Tonya Leigh.

Well hello, gorgeous friends. What’s happening? How are you doing? How are you feeling? I’m feeling great, truly. I’ve experienced a lot of emotions though this week, everything from anxiety to frustration, to doubt, to bliss, and joy, and abundance.

And when people ask me, “What is the secret to creating an extraordinary life?” it really comes down to expanding your self-image. But what you have to understand is that your self-image is your predominant state of being. And your predominant state of being consists of the predominant thoughts that you have about yourself, which then creates the predominant emotions that you feel most of the time.

And those predominant emotions are like magnets. They are attracting certain things into your life and they’re repelling other things from your life. This is why the most important skill you will ever, ever learn is how to master your emotions.

And this is why I have decided to open the doors to the School of Self-Image for enrollment for 72 hours. In fact, when you’re listening to this, it may be the final day that the doors will be open.

But I wasn’t going to do this until I was going through the workbook for the month of March, and I realized that I would be doing this community a disservice if I don’t allow women to jump in and participate in this month’s class.

I called up my team and I’m like, ‘Listen, I know we have a lot going on right now and I know this was not a part of our plan, but I feel so strongly that I need to get this class in particular in the hands of as many women as possible.” Because without this skillset, you will forever be avoiding the discomfort of your dreams and engaging in the familiar discomfort of destructive habits that you may have.

So, if you’re someone who is struggling to create results in your life and you know deep down that the root problem is the emotional work that’s required, come join us. Here’s my promise to you. If you jump in this month and you do this work, it’s going to change your life in the most beautiful ways.

I’m going to teach you everything that I know about emotional mastery. I’m going to share my personal practice of how I welcome in emotions, and I feel them fully. I’m also going to teach you how to learn from your emotions.

All emotions are our teachers. They’re teaching us when we’re on course and when we’re off course, and I’m going to share with you how to decipher what that process is and how to learn from them.

And then finally, I’m going to teach you how to produce powerful emotions that will drive you forward, that will help you create incredible results in your life. So, that’s what we’re going to be focused on within the School of Self-Image during the month of March. You can head to schoolofselfimage.com/join.

Come join us. Not only are we experiencing major transformations within this membership, but we have so much fun doing it because my philosophy is, if it’s not fun, what are we doing? We’re doing it wrong. So, again, come join us, schoolofselfimage.com/join.

In this episode, I want to talk with you about emotional magnetism. I had a really fascinating experience a couple of weeks ago while we were in South Beach. I was at the W Hotel, and I was with my man. And we were in the pool. And we were off to the side. But we were in deep conversation.

We were laughing. We were having so much fun. And all of a sudden, I noticed that people were coming from the other side of the pool, and they were getting closer to us. And before I knew it, we had about seven people around us who were then engaging in our conversation with our company.

And I was watching this all happen. It was like I was having an out-of-body experience watching the scene play out. and I literally imagined this electric current that people got sucked into.

And I believe it’s because of one of two things. Either they were on that same vibration, and so they recognized it, they wanted to be a part of it. Or they wanted to be at that vibration, and so they stepped into it.

And we ended up having so much fun. I met the most incredible people, some of which we are still staying in touch with. It was just so fun. It was like we were all a perfect match for each other.

And every day that we went to the pool, that little group got bigger and bigger because the intensity of the emotion of us all together was stronger and greater as the number of people grew. It’s like that energy just intensified.

Now, on the flipside, I have experienced the opposite of that, where I’ve been in a low energy state, a low emotional state and I started to attract people into my life who mirrored that. And as we all got together and we complained about our lives and how terrible our lives were and how we’ve messed up in the past and, you know, the big sob story, it’s like that energy intensified.

And the more intense the emotion, the stronger the pull into it. Have you ever noticed, you all, that when you are in a state of feeling sadness, loneliness, depression, unworthiness, the more you stay in that state, the more you gather the energy of that mood? Because emotions are magnetic, and so you spiral into this cycle of negative thinking, and then you attract maybe other people into your lives that are thinking at that level, or things begin to happen outside of you that you’ve attracted into your life. And then, it’s as if it’s just a big boulder that’s going down the mountain so fast, you feel like you can’t stop it.

I know what that feels like. On the flipside, however, have you ever been in a heightened state? You’re feeling love, you’re feeling abundance, you’re feeling joy, you’re feeling excitement, and all of a sudden, just like in the pool, things and people start to show up to match that energy and you collect more evidence, and that energy intensifies.

And as that energy intensifies, you’re showing up differently. You’re taking different action. And you are gathering more and more evidence to mirror back that energy to you. This is how emotional magnetism works.

I have said for many years, you don’t attract what you want. You attract who you are. So, with love for yourself, with a curiosity and a fascination, just notice how you are experiencing and attracting and showing up in such a way in your life that mirrors back to you your predominant state of being.

And then ask yourself, “Do I like the results I’m creating? Do I like what I’m attracting?” And if not, the first step is to learn emotional mastery.

The art of mastering your emotions starts with understanding where your emotions come from. And it’s never from anything outside of you. And that’s where we get it wrong. And that’s why we spend so much time trying to rearrange our outside world to feel better, only to find ourselves feeling exhausted and full of frustration and slowing down our journey.

Your emotions are always created within you, but you have to be willing to look at your emotions, to feel your emotions. The first step of emotional mastery is to allow yourself to feel and to understand what those emotions are trying to teach you, what they’re showing you, what they’re telling you.

This is why, when the boulder is moving so fast in a direction that you don’t want it to go, that it feels like it’s so hard to stop. It’s because we’re resisting our emotions. We don’t want to feel them. We don’t want to experience them. So then, we engage in behaviors, and we attract things into our lives that just make them bigger, they make them a bigger problem.

So, you have to be willing to let them come to the surface and to experience them fully. Then you must understand what is creating that emotion. It’s always going to be a thought in your head, you all, always.

I know you think it’s because the kids aren’t behaving, or the boss did something at work or your best friend didn’t text you back or you received an unexpected bill in the mail. But those things don’t create your emotions. You don’t feel an emotion until you attach a thought to it.

And that is good news because that means that no matter what is happening in your outside world, you get to decide how you want to feel on purpose. But here’s the part I see a lot of you all doing. You want to skip to step three.

Step three is creating powerful emotions. You want to skip through the discomfort. You want to bypass that, but you can’t. Do you know why? Because you’re human.

I mean, even with all of this work and knowing all of this and practicing it for a decade now, I still feel anxiety. I still feel worry. I still feel doubt. I still feel all of the humanness of this experience.

But the difference now is I don’t resist it. I embrace it. I know this is the curriculum. I know this is meant to grow me. I also know that negative emotion isn’t the enemy. This is another area where we get it wrong, especially for those of us who know the law of attraction, which states like attracts like.

When we start to feel a negative emotion, we start believing we are going to attract negative things into our lives because emotions are magnets. But here’s the thing – and this is like the little secret I want to teach all of you. When you are not afraid of negative emotion, you’re in a powerful state.

Really think about that. When you’re not afraid of negative emotion, you are in a powerful state. There is no resistance. It’s the resistance that causes us so much suffering. Again, we engage in behaviors to avoid feeling our emotions, or we’re chasing after things outside of us to try to create an emotion.

But when you just allow emotions to be and you embrace them, you welcome them, you’re not afraid of them any longer, that is when you, on a vibrational level, are a force to be reckoned with. And it explains why, during periods of my life where I was sad on a consistent basis, or I was feeling afraid – I think about when my daughter was sick. I had a lot of fear. And yet, I was still attracting amazing things into my life.

And the reason being is that I wasn’t fighting it. And there was a relaxing into the discomfort. I didn’t spin stories in my head that something was wrong with me, that it wasn’t working and only adding to and compounding the negative emotion. I just said, “Oh, I’m feeling afraid today, and that’s okay. I’m human.”

And then, I would go into my brain and look at why I was feeling afraid, and I would clean it up. And then, I would decide on purpose, “This is the emotion that I want to create today.”

I share this with you because I know that some of you who are listening are in what we’ll just call a low-vibe state. And you’re so afraid of attracting more things into your life to match that state.

But the best way to begin to spiral in the opposite direction, to get that boulder moving in a different direction is to stop pushing up against it and to just step away and witness it and let it keep rolling down that mountain. You don’t have to go with it. You can just witness it. You can feel it. You can stop fighting it.

Because it is true. What you resist persists, right? The emotional magnetism is a frequency. And it is true that like frequencies attract like frequencies. But this does not mean you have to be on top of the world all of the time.

Sometimes, I am my highest frequency when I’m afraid and I’m allowing myself to be afraid and I’m showing up anyway. There’s a power to that. What creates the low frequency is when we’re resisting the fear, when we’re resisting the feelings, whatever’s present for us.

I go back to a couple of times in my life, one being when my daughter was sick and the other one was when I was going through my divorce. And I was in quite a state. I had a lot of emotions running through my body.

But the difference was that I didn’t fight them. I didn’t spin stories in my head that I was a bad person or that there was something wrong with me or that I was doing it wrong. I was like, “Oh, here you are being a real human being.” And I still say that to myself today when I’m experiencing low-vibe emotions.

And just the acceptance of them helps me move into a higher vibe state. But even during those times, I was still showing up. I was still doing the work to create my future on purpose. I was still reaching for better feelings. But I didn’t try to bypass and skip this step of feeling what was present for me.

And throughout both of those two specific scenarios, my life get better and better. And again, I share this with you all because I don’t want you to think that if you are in a negative state, you can’t begin attracting beautiful things into your life.

I am living proof that you can. But the only way you can do that is if you stop fighting where you are. Notice when you stop fighting what you’re feeling and you just allow yourself to feel it, the relief that comes from that.

Some women will tell me, “But I’m afraid that if I allow myself to feel it, that I won’t be able to get out of bed, that I’m going to be down for a day.” And I would challenge you to consider, if you don’t allow yourself to feel it, eventually you’re going to end up in that bed and it’s going to be a lot harder.

But once you’re not afraid of feeling an emotion, which is simply a vibration in your body, that’s all it is. Once you’re not afraid of feeling that, then you can produce powerful emotions. You can create them on purpose. And when you get to this point, that’s when you can accelerate the magnetism of the things that you want.

You can begin to show up more powerfully. You can begin to attract new people and new experiences and new opportunities into your life. You will notice, you’ll be like me in the pool that day where, all of a sudden, all these people are showing up and you’re like, “Hi, where have you all been? I’ve been waiting on you.”

And the beautiful thing is, as you begin to create your emotions on purpose, you begin to transform your state of being into something more elevated. And over time, you will notice that you went from feeling, let’s say overwhelmed and afraid and insecure, to calm and confident and bold because you’ve practiced those new emotions so much that it’s just who you are most of the time.

You’re still human. You’re still going to have some negative emotion, and your experience was designed that way. You need the contrast. But as you begin to practice these powerful emotions, you’re going to notice you’re going to start attracting and magnetizing things into your life that are completely different than what you are currently attracting.

Your emotions are magnets. And if you do not like what you are attracting into your life, then it is necessary, it is essential that you learn how to master your emotions. It really is the most important skill I could ever teach you.

So, if you want to dive deeper into this and practice it on purpose with us within the School of Self-Image, then come join us. Even if it’s just for the month of March, get in on this class, learn the skills and the tools that I have used for the last decade to really blow my mind with hat I’m able to create. It really has come down to managing my emotional life.

So, if you want in, go to schoolofselfimage.com/join and I cannot wait to see you inside. And as always, I can’t wait to see you in next week’s episode.

Hey, have you grabbed your free copy of the School of Self-Image Manifesto? If not, what in the world? Head over to schoolofselfimage.com/manifesto and get a copy that teaches you how to think and show up in the areas of mindset, style, and surroundings so that you can transform your self-image.