Thwarting Low Vibes in a High Vibe Season

I'm so excited that the holiday season is finally upon us. I enjoy the holidays so much. The holidays are such a high vibe season of sparkling lights, good food, good cheer, uplifting music, and vibrant decorations everywhere I look. Gift-giving, charity, gratitude, and goodwill abound, and I always feel a little extra inspired and elevated during this time of year.

It's a time for get-togethers, dinners, cocktail parties, and family gatherings. The holidays can be tremendously fun and fulfilling with tradition and homecoming.

And, I realize, not everyone shares my view of the holidays – not everyone sees them as the high vibrational space that I so much enjoy. 

Despite my love of the season, the holidays can also present a tremendous amount of stress (if I allow it), usually resulting from interactions with low-vibe people who are in their own headspace – likely about a million miles away from my own. 

For example, let's take a look at the family holiday get-together. The food is abundant, and the wine is flowing, and, as usual, "Uncle Earl" has just a bit too much to drink. All is still going fine, but seemingly out of nowhere, he starts in on that thing that you vehemently disagree with. It might be about politics or religion or the state of the world we live in, and usually, you can deftly steer the conversation in a different direction with grace and aplomb. But then he goes and gets extra special. Perhaps he makes a racist or sexist remark (or few) that shoots straight into your heart and gets you instantly fired up. 

What can you do? Well. Not react, to begin with. But a little more on that later. 

Everywhere you go during the holiday season, you're likely to find yourself in contact with low-vibe people. 

Of course, this doesn't mean they are bigoted or ugly-hearted, or evil in any way. Instead, their low vibration may be stemming from melancholy because a loved one isn't with them for the holidays, financial stress, depression, or simple overwhelm induced by all the busyness of the season. 

The truth is, we don't know what's going on with other people, so it's best to treat them with grace.  

Low-vibe people are all around us, and not just during the holidays. 

• The lady behind you in the checkout line barks at her kids and then snaps at the cashier. 
• Your neighbor doesn't celebrate the holidays, and he complains bitterly, loudly, and constantly about the "noise level" of the celebrations around him.
• There's the guy at the office who gripes and moans every day, all day, about everything from the amount of traffic in the streets to the weather outside to the office decorations and the smell of pumpkin lattes.
• The woman on the street who takes offense when you courteously wish her "happy holidays," ungraciously muttering something about the "war on Christmas," and effectively dismissing the celebrations of Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, Bodhi Day, Yule, and other celebrations of people of different faiths or spiritual beliefs with her dualistic thinking

We have no idea what is happening inside the minds and hearts of other people. If we can resist binary thinking – placing people in an "other" box or deciding they are just jerks – we can gracefully manage our interactions with them, dealing with low-vibe people in an elegant and warmhearted way. 

Two Ways You Can Graciously Deal With Low Vibe People Anytime

Regardless of the time of year – a high vibe season like the holidays or any other time – there will always be low-vibe people in your world. That doesn't make them bad people; it just makes them people that you may want to handle with care – placing your self-care above all. 

People who are in low-vibe mode may be there for a variety of reasons. It could be that they are just naturally a Negative Nikki. On the other hand, chances are they're just having a momentary difficulty. Or, it could be that they are a person who is moving through life with unresolved trauma, pain, or old, unhealthy messages in their brains that make up their self-image, and thus their values, beliefs, and behaviors. 

Regardless of the reason, you're still served best – and so are they – by taking care of yourself and offering up a little grace.

Boundaries are vital in dealing with low-vibe people. 

When a low-vibrational person comes into your world, you can set boundaries about the kinds of things you talk about, what you're willing to allow into your space, and what kind of behavior you're willing to accept. 

It's perfectly fine to say, "We don't talk about politics during our holiday dinner." If that doesn't work, try changing the subject rather than engaging in the conversation. 

If it's something that you cannot ignore given your values, boundaries, or self-imposed moral obligation to speak up – for example, bigotry or racism – it's OK for you to say something like, "I have a zero-tolerance policy for bigotry in my home. You're entitled to your feelings, but you're not welcome to express them here."

If it's not your table to set boundaries for, you can still say, "I feel uncomfortable talking about politics at a gathering. Maybe we could talk about something else?" 

If all else fails, it's sometimes best to simply excuse yourself and walk away from the conversation. Chances are, when you return (if you have to), you'll be able to turn the conversation to a lighter subject. 

Be Selective in the Company You Keep

While it's true that you can't choose your family and can't always decide who will be at the holiday dinner table with you, you can be selective when it comes to who you choose to spend time with. 

Perhaps you have a friend with whom you've been close to for a long time. Still, you're beginning to realize that their low vibe energy, negative thinking, or seeming inability to stop talking about their problems and start focusing on solutions is bringing you down. Way down. 

It's OK to distance yourself from such friends. Especially if you've been listening for years to the same old "woe is me" story that could put a country song to shame, and nothing ever changes.  

Likewise, you can and should step away from those folks in your life who dismiss your dreams or try to push you down when you're doing all you can to fly high in your life. 

Sometimes, there are such people in our lives from whom it's more challenging to take distance. For example, I have a friend who has a contentious relationship with her elderly mother, who is bitter, critical, and judgemental about pretty much everything. Still, a dutiful and loving daughter, she wants to be present for her mom but protect herself at the same time from her mother's criticism and negativity. 

She tells me, "I call my mom regularly to check in and let her know I'm here. And I set a timer for five minutes when I start each call. I keep topics light and fairly impersonal, steering the conversation away from me and toward what the grandkids are up to or a great book I think she might enjoy. Then, when my timer sounds, I say, 'I gotta go, Mom. Work (or whatever) is calling! I love you so much. It was great talking to you. I'll call again soon, OK?' It works like a charm. She doesn't get the opportunity to criticize me, I don't get triggered, and we both walk away from the conversation feeling good." 

Staying High Vibe No Matter What

As the old saying goes, wishing ill toward someone or getting angry about their behavior, beliefs, or attitude is equivalent to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to get sick. 

Dealing with low vibe people in a high vibe season requires grace, empathy, and self-preservation in the form of good boundaries and a healthy attitude. 

Don't let other people's low energy bring yours down. Take care of yourself, remember that a political belief or negative attitude doesn't make up a person's whole, and do your best to detach with love. 

Doing all these things won't change the attitudes or behavior or low vibrational energy of those around you, but it will preserve your energy. And who knows? Perhaps your light will shine enough to brighten their energy too.