How to Become Unrecognizable in 90 Days

Welcome back to another episode. I'm so excited that you're here because today we are going to talk about how to become unrecognizable over the next three months, because the reality is a lot can happen in 90 days.

I want you to imagine that it's December 31st of this year and you are at this party and at the party are two different versions of you. Version one is basically the you of today. Same mindset, same habits, same results. Then there's another version of you who decided to become unrecognizable. I'm talking about a whole new mindset, whole new way of being, a whole way of living. 

Which one would you choose? Now here's what most people do around this time of the year. And I know this because I used to do this myself and it's, we wait until the beginning of the, year we tell ourselves things like, oh, the kids are going back to school, the holidays around the corner. I'm just going to be too busy. To pursue my dreams, to pursue what's really important to me. And here's the problem with that.

Stop Delaying Your Dream Self

Every time you wait, every time you say to yourself, I'm going to just delay my dreams a little bit. I'm gonna wait until things calm down. All you're doing is perpetuating a self-image of a woman who doesn't see her dreams as important enough right now. You're perpetuating the self-image if a woman, who's always delaying her life. And remember with self-image, you're always going to subconsciously prove yourself true.

And that is exactly why I'm going to challenge you. If you are feeling called for more, if you know that there's an area of your life where you're settling, where you really want to up level your life, I'm gonna challenge you to do it over the next 90 days. We're not going to wait. We are going to commit to our own reinvention.

What does it mean to be unrecognizable? Well, if you just look at the definition, it means no longer being able to identify something because of a major change. It can be appearance, it can be attitude, it could be state. And so as it relates to this, it's you being so different that the people around you are like, wait, who is this? And even for you, it's your looking at yourself and being like, I cannot believe that this is who I am. 

Becoming Unrecognizable Is a Challenging Process

But the reality is, when you go through this process, it is so uncomfortable because you've probably been so accustomed to being who you're being. Your brain's going to tell you things like, this isn't who you are. Who do you think you're fooling? Like, don't you know what used to be? You're just pretending you are faking it.

And that is the voice that if you listen to, it's going hold you back. But when you start to understand that you get to decide who you are, and this isn't about you losing yourself. It's really about you, losing the parts of you that were never yours in the first place. They were never parts that you would have chosen on purpose.

But for whatever reason, conditioning, habits, repetition, you now think that's who you are. But guess what? You get to change that. You get too. Redecide in every moment who you want to be. So why 90 days?

Why 90 Days Are Perfect for Reinvention

Well, I have discovered that most people overestimate what they can do in a day and they underestimate what they do in 90 days. Not to mention, you think about it every 90 days as a seasonal change. I think that's such a beautiful container. For changing different areas of your life. I even think about how we run our business. We meet quarterly to stop and reassess, like what do we wanna change? What do we want to be different? What do need to stop doing? What do you need to start doing?

We can accomplish a lot in 90 days. So I want you just to imagine for a moment who you can become in 90 day. Again, it's December 31st. And you are at a party with you that decided to become unrecognizable. What could you accomplish in the next 90 days? And I promise you, it's probably way more than you're allowing yourself to even imagine. So let's talk about how to actually become unreconnaizable over the next ninety days.

Before I share the steps with you, I want to tell you a little bit about my story and my journey to becoming unrecognizable because I was just looking at some photos recently at my mom's house and I am unreconnaisable in every way everything from number one how I look but more importantly how I feel how I think about the world how I think about myself it's a completely different identity than that version of me all those years ago so I've gone through this process many times and the reality is I remember a specific.

Reinvention around my body and my weight. And at the time I was thinking when I was preparing for this, like how just stuck I felt. I would go on the diets. I would become obsessed with Shape magazine. I was like, this is the answer. This is gonna be what changes everything. But inevitably I would just go back to my old habits, my old ways of being. And the reason being is I didn't change my self-image. And you'll always work to prove your self-image true. It really did occur to me, I have to change my identity. And I did completely change my relationship with my food, with my body, and completed a whole new reality for myself. But it didn't take 90 days, it took me much longer actually.

And the reason being is I didn't have the tools that I have now, which is why I know you can do it in 90 days. I've done my own reinventions in 90 day since then. And so I wanna share with you exactly how I do it. So let me walk you through the exact steps that I have taken to become unrecognizable again and again in my own life. There are seven of them. So step number one is you must become radically honest with yourself. That means sitting down, assessing your life, looking at what's working because I believe in celebrating that, but also what's not working. Where are you perpetually frustrated? Where do you know you're settling? Maybe think about what are the things that you secretly complain about in your life? Is it you don't like your friend group? Maybe it's you don't like your relationship with your body. 

You don't like that you're earning a certain amount of money. You don't the fact that you' overspending. Just be honest. And you have to do this with a level of compassion. There is no upside to beating yourself up ever. That just keeps you stuck in a self-image cycle that is sabotaging. You must come to this assessment. With a lot of love, with a lot of respect for yourself, respect enough to be honest, because you know you deserve better, because you want to change.

And so just zoom out on your life and think about what's working and what's not. Once you do that, step two is to choose one focus. Now listen, I get it. I get that there are times in our lives where we want to change everything at once. We are not happy in our relationships, with our bodies and our careers, and we're like, we just want to do over.

Choose One Focus

But you know what that does? It just sets you up for so much overwhelm of trying to change every thing at once, and what I have found to be true is that when you choose the one focus, that area of your life where you want to become unrecognizable, Inevitably, what ends up happening is who you become in that area begins to spill over in all of the other areas. But having that one focus tells your brain, this is what we're focused on. This is what's most important right now. And now let's get to work. Now, once you pick your focus, maybe you're going to focus on your career.

Maybe you want to focus your relationships. You want to focused on your health and wellness. What you must do next is you need to paint a vision of who that woman is and what are the results that she's creating. So the best way for me to describe this is to tell you about one of my own reinventions. It was around my weight and I'll never forget after struggling for so many years to have a healthy relationship with my body, to lose weight and maintain that weight loss from a place of self-love, not self-loathing. What I did is I started to study people who were just naturally slim.

And for me, it was studying a lot of the French culture. I looked at what they ate, their relationship with their food, and even spending time in France, I started talk to people like how they think about food. And I started paint this vision of myself, I call this like the French version of me, but she was someone who enjoyed food, who ate it with so much. Satisfaction, she savored it, there was no deprivation, there was no beating herself up. She also chose high quality ingredients. She stopped eating when she was elegantly satisfied. She went for long walks. The way she thought about food was so different than the version of me who had struggled with it for years.

And I got super clear on her. I got super-clear with how she thought, how she treated her body, how he showed up in the world. And that became the vision, I guess you could say my blueprint for my own reinvention and becoming unrecognizable in that area of my life. Now, once you have assessed your life, you've chosen that one area that you want to become unreconnaizable in, and you have painted that vision of her. The next step is one that has been very supportive of me. And I have found that the women who do this are able to create results way faster. And that is you need to put up a red velvet rope around your life. Think about a red velvety rope. It signifies what's allowed in and what's not. And the reason why this is so important, especially when you're trying to create results fast is you're gonna be so tempted to get pulled back into old ways of being.

Like when you're surrounded by the same people, the same places, the same ideas, that trigger is going to signal for the old you to show up. And so the more you can protect your space so that this new you can emerge, the faster you're gonna be able to create results. Now listen, I get it. We're heading into the holidays. So we're gonna to be around family and friends and hopefully having so much fun. So how do we do it then? What about? In those off hours, when you're not around those people. What are you consuming? What are allowing into your life to make you better able to show up in those moments as this new you that's emerging?

And so yeah, I think having a red velvet rope is so, so important. I call it my reinvention hole. I know when I want to make a big change in my life, that's when I need to have this rope up around my life bigger and bolder and tighter than it's ever been. So that I can establish new ways of thinking and new habits. You know, they say it takes, what, 21 days to form a new habit and then about 60 days to really cement it so that it's just default. It's just what you do. And so I have just found that when you protect your space, when you project your energy, it allows you to become unrecognizable, to reinvent yourself so much more quickly. The fifth step.

To becoming unrecognizable in 90 days is I feel like undervalued and yet when I look back at my own reinventions, it has been the number one thing that I've done that has allowed me to reinvent myself over and over again and that is up level your environment it is so important because what you may not realize is that your environment is shaping you. The people you hang out with, the places you go, the books you read, what you listen to, it is all shaping your identity. So the way I think about it is to shape your environment on purpose so that it reflects back to you who you're becoming. You think about the area that maybe you've already chosen. You already know, I want to be unrecognizable in this area. 

What do you need to surround yourself with? Who do you to surround with? Is in that elevated energy that will call forth that best you. It could be the books you're reading, the podcast you're listening to. It could you even driving a different way to work. I remember doing that actually. It was like, I wanted to live in this high vibe energy. And I remember one little change that I made is I started driving a different route to the hospital where I worked. I drove through this beautiful neighborhood. It was a little bit out of the way. But seeing those homes, seeing the manicured lawns, it just elevated my state. It was mirroring back to me, like this is what I want for my own life.

I'm telling you, elevating your environment can help you access new possibilities, new ideas that aren't hanging out in the environment that you may find yourself in right now. Step number six to becoming unrecognizable in 90 days is to change your appearance.

Change Your Appearance

Because here's what happens, we wake up thinking the same thoughts, feeling the same ways, and then choosing the same things. Part of that choice is the environment that we're in. But another part of that is how we dress ourselves, how we do our hair, how we to our makeup. And so if you're just doing the same thing all day, every day, you're just getting the same reflection back to you, confirming this is who I am. This is who. But the moment you begin to tweak these things, whether it's your environment or your style, it's sending a different message to you. I remember hiring a stylist because I knew I wanted to elevate my appearance.

I knew this was an important part of my reinvention. And I met her in New York. I was at this little boutique in SoHo and she picked out this dress for me. And I remember looking at it and thinking, no. This girl doesn't wear that. I grew up very conservative. I grew in a very religious home. My clothes were always big and baggy. Didn't dare show any skin. And this particular dress, ironically now I look back at it and it's very conservative, but it was a very fitted Alexander Wang dress. I'll never forget this dress. But it was fitted and I was not used to wearing fitted things. And so I put it on. My stylist and everyone in the boutique was like, Oh my God, this looks amazing on you. I had a complete identity crisis in this boutique. I kid you not.

I was bawling in the dressing room. Like I can't wear this. I can wear this, but I knew this was such an important part of my own journey. So I bought the dress and I wore that dress until one day I was like Oh my god, more please. This is just what we wear. That dress. I know it sounds so crazy, it was just a dress and it's always about more than the dress or more than anything, but it's what it was saying to me about me. It literally was a catalyst in my own becoming unrecognizable. So for you, maybe it's wearing a bright lipstick, maybe it you cutting your hair, it's you wearing the funky boots that you've always wanted to wear, but you thought that you couldn't because of whatever reason. Maybe it's your wearing the dress.

It doesn't matter. What is a secret style wish you've had? Something that you've wanted to wear, express through your style that you haven't allowed yourself. Now's the time. Over the next 90 days, I'm going to challenge you to wear that thing, do that thing. Adorn yourself with that thing because I'm telling you, it's powerful to see yourself in such a different way. 

Make the Choice Now

The final step of becoming unrecognizable over the next 90 days. Is a commitment to a daily practice. This is where every day you are meeting with that future you. And also assessing the current you. What are you thinking? What are your feeling? What are doing? And creating a practice where every day you have such awareness that you know what needs to happen. You know what need to shift. And you practice it over and over again until one day. You look in the mirror and hopefully in the next 90 days and you're like, wow, this really is who I am now.

Because the reality is you get good at what you practice. And a lot of times I have women say to me, but it just feels like I'm faking it. And I assure them, I'm like, no, you're just so used to playing a certain character and you've played her for so long that you think that's who you are. But the reality is you can decide who you want to be. And this isn't about faking it till you make it, it's about you practicing it until you become it. And you can do this in 90 days. If you follow these seven steps, if you stay committed to your practice, you will become unrecognizable over the next 90 days Why does this even matter?

Closing

You know, the way I think about it is that we have this one life. And if you're not waking up every day, ecstatic, excited, full of possibility, full of optimism about what can be. You know, you have to really take a step back and ask yourself, is this the kind of life that I want to live? What I want you to know is a lot can change in 90 days. Don't be one of those people that wait until January the 1st and just repeat the same kind of year over and over. What if you entered into the new year as your strongest, most expansive self ever?

Think about what next year could hold. You don't have to wait. In fact, I'm going to encourage you not to. I'm about to go through my own 90 day reinvention. I'm so excited. I'm also a little bit nervous because I know what's required, but I know that the payoff and the benefits way outweigh the discomfort that reinvention requires. I'm actually going to be teaching a class within the School of Self-Image called your 90 day re-invention where we're going to go way deeper into actually how to do it and having the accountability behind it. 

So if this episode spoke to you and you want to join me, I would love, love, love to support you. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/join or click that link right down below.

And I look forward to potentially seeing you inside the membership and I will see you on next week's episode.