5 Investments That Have Changed My Self-Image

An investment is defined as the dedication of an asset to attain an increase in value over a period of time. Guess what your greatest asset is? If you didn't say you, what in the world, it is you. And in this episode I am going to share the five investments that I've made in myself that have changed my self-image and therefore my entire life. So, let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, master life coach, Tonya Leigh.

Hello my beautiful friends. How's everybody doing? I'm recording this episode on the most gorgeous Saturday in Colorado. It's very rare that I work on a weekend. However, I have an event coming up, so I'm batching a lot of my work so that I can step away for a week and really focus on bringing my A-game to this event and to everyone who is attending. I cannot wait to see you all. We also just wrapped up the Worthy Woman five day workshop. That was a lot of fun. I've had some of you tell me you think it was the best workshop that I've ever done. And I think my workshops have been incredible in the past, but there was an energy to this one of watching thousands of women say, "I'm done with the unworthy story I've been telling myself." It was so much fun.

And so many of you are joining us within the School of Self-Image membership, which by the way, the doors are open. Some of you all have asked when we're going to open them again. I don't know. So, if you want to jump in on this extraordinary journey to elevating your self-image, come and join us. Go to schoolofselfimage.com/join. And here's what I want to promise you. Right now is the best time to do this work. Right now is the best time to invest in yourself. 

I've had some of you reach out and say, "Tonya, with everything that's going on in the world right now, I just feel like it's not a good time." Let me tell you all something. First of all, I started my business in 2009 during the recession. During the pandemic, when the world shut down, me and my business thrived. And I'll tell you why. It's because I constantly invest in myself. And I'm constantly elevating my self-image. I don't look around at what is happening in the world and use that to tell me what is possible. I don't look around at what's going on, on the news, in politics and the economy to tell me how I should think and feel.

I had a client reach out to me last week who joined the membership right when it opened up, which was during the pandemic back in 2020. And she said, "Tonya, I cannot imagine my life right now had I not joined. I can't imagine how I would have navigated the whole pandemic, everything shutting down, all of the chaos, all of the fear and worry, had I not had the tools that you teach." She was like, "During that whole time," she was like, "I watched my friends gain weight. I watched them just fall apart, full of anxiety, full of fear." And she was like, "I thrived during that time." And that's what we do within the membership. We take whatever circumstances are handed to us and we figure out how to thrive in them, how to see ourselves at a higher level, and therefore create very, very different results.

When the world shuts down, we open up. When everyone is afraid, we find our peace. When everybody's clinging and hanging on out of fear, we let go out of faith. And I will tell you, that way of being helps us to transcend all that's happening in reality. And it helps us to create a new reality. I've done it time and time and time again when the world was telling me it wasn't possible, and I've watched my clients do it. This is why. Right now, if you're afraid, if you're full of scarcity, if you're worried, it's the perfect time to invest in yourself. You are your greatest asset. Investing in your brain, investing in your environment, investing in your style, all of those investments elevate how you see yourself. They change your self-image. And it's inevitable, when you change your self-image, you change your results, you change what's possible, you change what you attract.

And that is exactly what I teach you within the School of Self-Image membership. And if you join as an annual member, you also get access to the Wealthy Woman. This is a course that I created to teach women how to create wealth. As someone who grew up in a trailer, who grew up what most people would consider poor, I know what it's like to struggle with my money. I know what it's like to struggle with scarcity and just a poor and limiting money mindset. And I also know what it's like to be wealthy. This is why I'm such a good teacher of this topic. I have so many of my members say that they appreciate the way I teach it, because they can tell I can relate to the before. I can relate to being anxious and afraid around money. And I also know what it's like to live in the after.

And I know how to get you from the before to the after. And I've had some members express concern about the economy. I also have a dear friend who is in the membership and she said, "Tonya, I really think it would be so powerful if you would teach a class about how to navigate this time." This is a friend who I've had for years. She has known me since I started my business, and she has seen how I just continue to up level, no matter what is happening in the world. And it's something that's available to all of us. And so I've decided that I'm going to be teaching a bonus module for the Wealthy Woman to support you all. So, if you're a member, be on the lookout for an email that will have all of the details. I don't know exactly when it's going to happen, but it will be before the holidays.

And if you're not a member and you want to take part in the Wealthy Woman to support you, in creating a wealthy self-image. So that no matter what's happening in the world, you will continue to up level your wealth and your net worth and your abundance. Come and join us as an annual member. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/join. And I cannot wait to see you in the membership. I cannot wait to support you.

So today, since we're talking about investments and we're talking about money, I wanted to share five investments that have changed my self-image. Your self-image is how you see yourself. It's the thoughts that you have about yourself. Now, some of you may argue that you don't need to make investments to change your thoughts. And this is true. You don't need to do anything. You can attempt to do this work without investing time, money, or energy into anything. But without investments in yourself, you will slow your progress and you will make it so much harder.

One of the first things that I have members do within the School of Self-Image is to choose an extraordinary goal. And I've had so many women come back to me after a year, because that's how long we focus on the extraordinary goal. And they've achieved it. And they're so surprised. They'll tell me, they're like, "I have been trying for decades to do this and I can't believe I was able to do it within a year." And it's because they invested in themselves to learn new tools, new skills, new mindsets, new ways of being. Several years ago I was in a mastermind with Benjamin Hardy. Many of you may know him. He's written several really phenomenal books. One of them is called, Will Power Doesn't Work.

And another one that he wrote, one of his very first books is called Slipstream. And he gave me a copy of it and I read that book and I'm like, "This is why we should invest in ourselves." The whole idea of Slipstream is that you find someone that has done what you're trying to do, who has forged the path, who has learned a skill, learned a way of being, learned something, and you get behind them and they can carry you further and faster than you could ever go alone. And when I look back in my life, I've had so many slipstreams that I've gotten into that have carried me so much further than me trying to do it on my own. 

And then there have been moments in my life where I've tried to do it on my own and I've been so frustrated that I just couldn't get there fast enough, or I couldn't get there at all. And if I'd known the power of investing in myself, that through investments we can find our slipstreams, I would have done it much sooner.

When I think about a lot of the rooms that I place myself in, I have to pay money to be in those rooms. But within those rooms I find slipstreams. I would love to be a slipstream for you all if you're called to this work, but you have to be willing to invest in yourself. So, I'm going to share with you five specific investments that have changed my self-image. That have elevated how I see myself.

Number one is not going to be a surprise to most of you if you listen to this podcast. But it's been a significant investment. I don't know exactly how much, but I was trying to come up with a figure before I started recording this episode, and how much I've invested in coaching. And it's well into the six figures. And the ROI on that is invaluable. Not only with how coaching has allowed me to create wealth using my brain, but also how I feel.

That's the most important part, you all, who cares about money if you're miserable? Who cares about losing weight if you're still unhappy? I want to have tools in my life that help me to live with joie de vivre, and also to support me when I'm not feeling joyful so that I don't spiral out of control. And having that is precious. You can't even put a price tag to it. Beyond just being able to handle life with the tools that I've learned through investing and coaching, coaching has allowed me to create myself on purpose. Many years ago I discovered that I did not have to continue to be the person that I was being. That I had to say so. That I could completely reinvent myself using coaching. And that is what I have done over and over and over again.

In fact, some of you all during the Worthy Woman Workshop, I showed you some of my before pictures and many of you said, "Oh my God, that doesn't even look like you. You look like I a completely new person." And I'm like, "Yeah, and I feel like one too. I think like a completely new person." Which has allowed me to create a completely different reality than that version of me years ago. And that is thanks to coaching, the coaching that helped me to elevate my self-image to expand what was possible for me. Now, there are people out there who poo poo coaching, they make fun of it, they don't believe in it, and they ridicule it every chance they get. And every time I see one of those people, do you know what I realize? There is no way I would want to trade lives with them. I have never seen someone who ridicules coaching have a life that I actually would want to emulate. But the people that I look up to, the people that I'm inspired by, the people that I would say, "Hey, can I trade lives with you for a day? Because your life looks pretty fun." Almost every single one of them has a coach or a mentor of some sort.

So you tell me, is it worth the investment? I can tell you from my experience, it is the number one investment hands down that I have ever made in myself. And I can say this without any doubt. I would not be where I am today because I wouldn't be who I am today had it not been for coaching. And I continue to invest in coaching. Because I'm not done yet. I feel like I'm just getting started. I feel like you all are seeing Tonya 2.0, and I'm heading towards Tonya 5.0. And I know that I can't get there without coaching.

And I think I'm a masterful coach with my clients. I can see things that they can't see. And the same goes for me. I have my own blind spots. I can't see within myself, which is why it's so valuable to have really incredible coaches around you that can help you see where you might be holding yourself back.

The second investment that has changed my self-image in huge ways is investing in my style. Now, the majority of this investment has been in actual clothing, but I have also invested in discovering my style, which is so important. Because when you invest in discovering your style, what you're really investing in is support and you getting to know yourself. Because as women we forget who we are, we forget who we came here to be. We forget our essence. So, in the beginning for me, I was investing in courses. I was investing in certifications to figure out my own style. I wanted to figure out who I wanted to be and what I wanted to express on purpose and how to do that through clothing. Because I knew it was important, but I didn't realize how important it was until I started to see the effect in my life.

And then I started to invest in my wardrobe. Once you know your style, it's so much easier to build a wardrobe that represents who you are. It's so much easier to get dressed, it's easier to feel confident, because you feel aligned, and you know that you are showing up on purpose. And so this investment that I've been making in my style over the years has definitely had such a huge impact on my self-image. When you get dressed in something that represents who you want to be and you look at yourself, it's reconfirming all of these positive thoughts about yourself. I am a woman who knows who she is. I am a woman who respects herself. I am confident, I'm a professional. Whatever it is that you want the story to be, you can use clothing to reflect that back to you, but you have to be willing to invest in your wardrobe.

Now, I am not suggesting that you go into debt buying designer clothing. That is not what this is about. What it is about is you seeing yourself as worthy enough to look and feel your best. And investing in figuring out what your style is, and investing in pieces that represent that style so that you can show up in the world as the best version of yourself. And in doing so, you will see yourself differently. And when you see yourself differently, you create different results, because your self-image truly is creating your entire life.

Okay, the third investment that I've made more recently that changed my self-image in crazy ways, good ways, was back in 2020 when I moved into a penthouse apartment. And do you know what's funny about that? Years ago I was coming up with different book titles that one day I might write. And one was called, From Baptist to Buddhist, even though I'm not Buddhist and I'm not Baptist. But that was sort of the gist of my spiritual journey. And the other title I remember writing down was, From the trailer park to the penthouse. Now, this was years ago, years ago, before I ever lived in a penthouse.

So remember, words are powerful, don't forget that. These little things that we write down and speak, don't be surprised if you stay the course. One day they pop up unexpectedly and you're like, "Oh, I remember wanting that years ago." But anyway, what happened, back in 2020 I moved to Denver. I left a relationship where I had been living with him for several years and I was on my own. Now, I had lived on my own before. I had paid rent before, but I was still mentally stuck in the version of me who had paid rent years before when I wasn't as successful as I was now. And so when I started looking for apartments, first of all, I told my best friend Brooke, I'm like, "I don't know if I can afford rent." And she's like, "What are you talking about?" She was like, "Look how much money you make." I'm like, "I haven't caught up with it yet, obviously."

But I started looking around and I gave myself this ridiculously low budget. And so when I started telling people this is what my budget is and they were showing me what I could get for that, I was very just shocked. I was like, "What? This is not what I expected." Plus Denver is way more expensive than where I moved from, so it was a little bit of a shock. And so I was at this one building, and the guy, leasing agent that was showing me around, he was like, "I feel like I need to show you this other apartment."

And I think it's funny now that I look back, because he was looking at how I was dressed and he couldn't see me living in the little tiny studio apartment with no view, based on how I was showing up. Now, he never said that to me, but I feel like that's what happened. So he was like, "Let me just show you this other apartment." Well, he takes me up to the top floor and shows me the penthouse. When I walked in to that space, it felt like I was finally home. Do y'all know what I mean? I felt like this is the woman that I'd been trying to get to for all of these years. This is where she lives, this is where she's hanging out. It was the most gorgeous view of the skyline of downtown Denver. Also had mountain views. It was high-end appliances, hardwood floors. It was great. Lots of natural light, huge toss ceilings. Everything that I had imagined that I wanted for myself was in that apartment. Now it was only two bedrooms, but I was single. I didn't need more than that. It was perfection.

And then Rodney told me the rent, and it was like three times more than the budget that I had in my head. And instantly my brain went crazy. My brain started telling me things like, "This is ridiculous. You're being irresponsible. Who do you think you are? You don't need this kind of space. You're being impractical." 

You see, my self-image did not match the space. Because had it matched the space, it would have been a no-brainer. Would have been easy.

So I had a choice, and this is the choice that we all have. I could listen to my brain, go get that studio apartment with a terrible view and keep confirming a self-image that was limiting me, or I could say yes to the apartment and use that space to grow my self-image. And that is what I did. Being in that space changed me.

And we talk about this a lot within the membership, that your surroundings are always mirroring back to you what you believe to be true about yourself. So, if you want to change how you see yourself, change what you see. Over the course of living in that penthouse, it was during the pandemic. So I had a lot of time by myself, felt like I was dating myself again. It was so amazing. I fell in love with myself all over again in that penthouse. I was alone and happy. I was being held in a beautiful space. And people would argue, "God, that's so much rent, such a waste."

And what they didn't see was how that space, how that environment nurtured, watered, and gave sunshine to a plant that was a little bit withered at the time. That space brought me back to life. That space reminded me of my worth and my future. That space mirrored back to me abundance, luxury, beauty. And that energy fed me. And so as I was being fed, guess what I was doing? I was putting out that energy, which allowed me to have the best year I'd ever had in my business. Making the decision to rent that penthouse demanded a new version of me. And that's what made it such an incredible investment. The ROI that came out of that rent that seems so impossible was a new woman who was capable of so much more.

Okay, you ready for the fourth one? The fourth investment that changed my self-image was investing in an assistant. So, not only did I move into a penthouse, but I also immediately hired a personal assistant. My poor brain, what she went through during that year, but I had her back. I'm like, "I got you girl. I know you're afraid, but we're going to do this." But hiring a personal assistant created a huge shift in my self-image. Up until then I'd had assistance in the business like virtual assistants. But I never had an assistant that would come over and literally take care of me and my personal needs.

I grew up probably like many of you all, thinking, "I need to do it on my own. Work hard, don't ask for help, be strong." And I'm really good at that. And I didn't want to be good at that anymore. I wanted help. I wanted support, and I decided to let myself have what I wanted. And I encourage all of you to do that as well.

And so hiring my assistant changed me, because number one, it confirmed that I am a woman who is willing to be supported. I'm a woman who doesn't have to do it by myself. I'm a woman who turns out other people want to support. So, that was one way that it changed my self-image. It also elevated me into seeing myself as this boss. Hiring my assistant was mirroring back to me like, "Yeah, you're in the big leagues now. You can't do it on your own anymore, sister, you need help. 

You've got to focus on growing your company. You need to focus on your vision. You need to focus on taking care of yourself so that you can be the best coach, the best CEO that this company and you need." Hiring an assistant confirmed the belief that my time is valuable.

And when you believe that your time is valuable, guess how you treat time? Like it's valuable. You don't sit around and procrastinate. You don't sit around and watch Netflix when you're supposed to be recording a podcast. You get to work. And hiring an assistant mirrored that back to me. I'm like, "Okay, she's come over to help me. I'm not just going to sit around and watch Game of Thrones. I'll do that when it's scheduled, but right now, let's get to work. That's why I'm hiring her to give me more time so I can focus on the things that are important to me, the things that I've committed to, the things that will help me grow."

And what's so interesting is our brain freaks out about investments that will actually help us to make money. I remember the first time I invested in a mastermind, my brain freaked out, but it was that investment that helped me to grow my business. When I invest in a new team member, sometimes depending on the salary, my brain wants to freak out, but I know that investing in that team member is going to help the company grow.

And the same was for my assistant. My brain wanted to freak out, but I'm like, "No, I have reached a point where I don't have the time and I don't have the capability of really expanding anymore. So I'm going to have to get some personal help." And that investment help me to see myself in such a different way and therefore create very different results.

Okay, the fifth investment that I've recently made, and I think I've talked about this on the podcast before, but I had to throw it into this episode, because it's had a big impact on my self-image, and that is investing in working with attacks and business attorney. I mean, he calls himself a tax attorney, but when I go and sit in his office we're not talking about taxes a lot. Being in that office with him, sitting at this huge mahogany conference table with legit whiteboards all around, and his other attorney sitting in there and me, and sometimes he'll bring in people that he wants me to meet, very successful business people.

It's like blown my mind at how I'm seeing myself so differently as a CEO, as a business owner, as a woman in business. When I go in there, I step into my alter ego, which some of you may know, some of you may not know, but her name is Bella Bold. And me and Bella Bold, we get to business in that room. I don't have time for all of that, "Who do you think you are? You don't know what you're doing. You're not that smart. You're not a good CEO." Whatever the thoughts are in my brain, I don't have time for it in that room. I'm like, "Oh no, we are practicing something else around here." So being in that room has helped me to see myself as a legitimate businesswoman.

Now, I don't go in there trying to pretend that I know stuff that I don't know, because it turns out that's not a smart business woman. I go in there in full confidence that I have built something extraordinary. I go in there in full confidence of knowing that everything I need is within me, and it's okay to be supported for the things that I might need support around, but it's all within me. And I ask thousands of questions. I speak my opinion. If something doesn't feel right, I tell people. I ask them to explain things a 100 times if I need them to.

But I own my presence in that room. I use that investment and that environment as a practice ground to change myself-image. Now, some of you all may be thinking, "Tonya, you're just faking it until you make it." Listen, isn't everyone? I have no problems with that. Although, I did share on the Worthy Woman last week. I was like, someone asked me about that. They're like, "It just feels so bad." And I'm like, "Of course, because no one wants to feel like a fake." I just don't think of it that way. The way I think about it is I'm practicing it until I become it.

And that is what every human being on the planet is doing. No one comes out of the womb being able to do spreadsheets or play professional basketball. No one comes out of the womb just being good at making millions of dollars, or I don't know, driving a race car. No, you have to practice. And here's the thing you all, you get good at what you practice. The problem is a lot of you are practicing ways of being that don't serve you, and you're getting good at it. You're getting really good at being overwhelmed. You're getting really good at being poor. You're getting really good at feeling bad about yourself, because that's what you practice all of the time. I'm just suggesting that we practice something that serves us. Because as we do we're going to get better at it.

So, investing and working with this attorney who really is like a business mentor to me. It's been an investment in seeing myself differently, because that experience is like a playground for me to practice this next version of me. And not only that, but I'm exposing myself to different perspectives. I'm exposing myself to new ideas. I'm exposing myself to knowledge that I didn't have. And through that exposure we also begin to see ourselves differently.

So, those are the five investments that have changed my self-image. Now, there are other investments that I've made that have had an impact, but these are the big ones. That when I look back they were key moments that I started to see myself differently. And so I want you all to be thinking about, how can you invest your money, your time, and your energy in things that will have an impact on your self-image in a positive way? Because when you change how you see yourself, what you see outside of you changes as well.

Now, if you want to make a really good investment in yourself, and I'm not just saying this because it's my membership, I'm saying this because literally hundreds and hundreds of women have said those words to me exactly, "Best investment ever." 

In fact, I'll be sure to share some of those on my Instagram Stories. However, if you are ready to invest in yourself, because you are your greatest asset, come and join us before the doors close within the School of Self-Image membership. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/join and come join us. I can't wait to see you inside the membership. And I can't wait to see you on next week's episode. Have a great week, everyone. Cheers.

Hey, have you grabbed your free copy of the School of Self-Image Manifesto? If not, what in the world? Head over to schoolofselfimage.com/manifesto and get a copy that teaches you how to think and show up in the areas of mindset, style, and surroundings so that you can transform your self-image.