[Summer Series] 5 Investments That Have Changed My Self-Image

What if the way you invest your time, your money, your energy is shaping your self-image more than you realize? Well, in this episode of our summer series, we are going to explore the powerful link between your investments and the woman that you're becoming, and I'm also going to be sharing the latest investment that has really, really expanded my self-image. So let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, master life coach, Tonya Leigh.

Hello, hello, friends, and welcome back to another episode of our summer series for the School of Self-Image podcast, where we are revisiting some episodes from the past. And this one is one that I got so many comments about. I had women in my DMs. I had women asking me questions. I had members talking about this episode because it's all about the investments that we make in ourselves and how it really does shape our self-image. More specifically, with this particular episode, I shared the five investments that I had made during that period of my life that really elevated my self-image. So make sure you listen to it, because if I've learned anything, it's that it's not the thing itself. It is really the energy behind the thing.

Here's what I mean. If you are investing in something from a place of fear and scarcity, and low self-esteem, thinking that that thing is going to fix you, chances are it's not because it's just you with the thing. I like to think about the first time I bought a designer handbag. I truly bought it from a place of deserving it, feeling like I really deserved it. I bought it from a place of really wanting to step into a woman who values quality, who really allows herself to have what she wants, unapologetically. Very different energy than purchasing a handbag because you think you're not good enough, and the handbag's going to make you better, buying it to impress other people, and so on and so forth.

Now, the really interesting thing about how I've evolved over the years is that, while I still appreciate quality, I'm not into designer handbags. And I know that's going to be shocking to so many people, but it just doesn't speak to me like it used to. I think, back then, that was part of my journey. I needed to prove to myself that I was worthy of beautiful things, that I could become the kind of woman who could afford those beautiful things. And then, once I went through that phase of my life, they just don't carry the same weight. Now, that's not to say I'll never buy another one, but I have absolutely no desire for designer handbags. And maybe it's because I have a few beautiful ones in my collection, so I feel sated. It may be because it's just no longer interesting to me, and I think that's a beautiful thing. That's us growing and evolving.

And listen, when you hear that, that's not to sway you from loving designer handbags. It's for you to check in and ask yourself, "Why? Why do I love them?" Anyway, this isn't about designer handbags. This was just to make a point. But I was thinking this morning, when I was preparing for the intro to the summer series podcast about the investments that have changed me recently, and there's one that stands out beyond all of the others. So since I recorded the episode you're about to listen to, I purchased land, designed my house plans, built a house, decorated a house, and I'm currently living in this home, and that, by far, has changed how I see myself.

You have to understand, and I've talked about this before with members, I think I've talked about on the podcast, but I had not fully lived into my success with my self-image for a while. And one of the ways I know that was the fear that I had around owning my own home. Because deep down inside, I wanted to, but there was always this fear of, "Oh my God, can you sustain this? Are you able to afford this?" Even though I clearly, on paper, could afford it. I had money and savings. I had been stacking cash, investing for a long time, so I could afford it, but there was something around my self-image that was still having a lot of fear around owning a home.

Since then, I've been living in this house now for over a year, and it just feels normal. It's like, "Oh, this is who you are. This is what you do." I've relaxed into it. My nervous system has settled into being a home owner. It's the first home I've ever owned. I'm almost 50 years old. I've always rented or lived with someone. And so, it was a huge, huge shift in my self-image, and I was thinking about what it shifted in me, and a deeper level of self-trust is the first thing that comes up. Also, seeing myself as an adult. I know that sounds crazy, but there's something that happens when you actually own a home and you are having to take care of the landscaping and pay the bills and pay the taxes, and keep up with maintenance. You see yourself in a different way, like as an adult. Now, I've always been an adult, obviously not always, since I've been 18. I've always worked. I've always taken care of myself. I've always been very responsible, but this is like another level that I'm actually enjoying.

The other shift that I realize this is made within me is actually helping me to compound my money and my wealth. I'm really seeing myself now as an investor. I am realizing this home is an appreciating asset, and in a course that I taught previously, The Wealthy Woman, we talk about that, like making sure that you are mindful of where you put your money, and is it appreciating or depreciating? Now, what's really interesting is that, ever since I was a young girl, I have seen myself as a woman who saves money. My dad would encourage me to collect all of my money from my piggy bank. I would give 10% to the church, because that's what we were raised to do, to tithe. So having that generosity of giving part of what you earn, and then saving a little bit for the future, and then spending a little bit. So I've always had the self-image of a woman who's pretty responsible with my money. I could save.

And then early on, probably in my 20s, when I was working as a nurse, I started investing in the market. And so that kind of investment is very familiar to me. So I would, inevitably, when I would get money, I would put a little bit into a cash account, a little bit into a savings account, and then I would invest the rest into the market. So I've seen myself as an investor, and I've seen and reaped the benefits of that and compounding interest. However, I don't know why it was, you all. Well, I do know why, because it's unfamiliar. But investing in a home felt like a completely different beast that I had a lot of fear around. Now that I've done it, it's exciting.

This year, we also purchased another home that we are going to be using as a rental property. We may sell it. But it's like now, real estate investment has become something that I'm really interested in. But you have to understand, I was so nervous about it because I'd never done it before. And of course, when you've never done something before, it is going to be very uncomfortable. Your brain's going to try to talk you out of it. But I just got busy studying and running numbers and seeing on paper like, "Oh, wow, this actually makes sense to put some of your money into the real estate market." And so, this house has also expanded my self-image as an investor.

Now, if you've been listening to this podcast for any length of time, you know the entire philosophy is this: you are subconsciously going to work to prove your self-image true. So think about that. Now that I've expanded my self-image as it relates to investing, guess what's happened? I'm reading more about it. I am growing in that area. I am talking to people who are real estate investors, as well as just financial advisors and experts in the field. And so, I am living into this idea that I am an investor, and it started with this house, seeing myself in such a bigger way around this topic. So, yeah, this house has changed me. But it's not the house. It's what it's asked me to step into. And that's how I want you to think about your investments in your self-image.

I wrote some notes down for this episode that I want to share with you, that I think will be very, very helpful. First of all, I want you to see yourself as the asset that appreciates, okay? So we know that the stock market fluctuates, real estate shifts, but when you invest in how you see yourself, your entire life compounds, your confidence, your income, your relationships, your joy. Because a woman with an expanded self-image, she becomes a magnet for possibility, okay? So, see yourself that way. You are the asset that appreciates, and the more you invest in you... Now, that's a term we throw around a lot, but invest in you in a way that expands you, that asks you to step up in some way, in a way that expands you, in a way that allows you to see yourself differently. You will begin to appreciate as a result.

Another thing that I've realized is that your self-image sets the budget. You'll only allow yourself to have, to spend, and to receive at the level of your self-concept. All right? It's huge. If you are always investing in the same thing, so when I say investing, it's like where you're putting your money. If you're always putting your money in the same things and it's mirroring back to you the same story, then your self-image stays unchanged and you continue to create the same results. But when you raise your self-image and you start making investments in that elevated image of yourself, your capacity for wealth, beauty, and support expands with it. The other thing is that where you invest is what you prioritize. If your money always goes towards stress management and never towards self-expression, it's a mirror of what you believe you deserve.

Survival and not success. I've seen this a lot. Now, this is a little bit of a gray area, but subconsciously, this is always working. It seems really good to invest in stress and management, but there is a difference, psychologically, in investing in stress management versus self expansion. So this makes me think about a conversation that I had with a member recently, where she told me that for 10 years, she had been investing in therapy and she stumbled upon my podcast. And she had this huge realization, and it was that every time she went to therapy, she was simply retelling the story of survival, like, "Let me just get through. Let me just get by." Now listen, therapy is a beautiful thing, and there are many times in the membership, you all know if you're in it, that I will recommend therapy to people. I'm like, "Listen, you really need to consider therapy so that you can work through these deep, traumatic wounds that you have from your past."

Coaching is all about looking for the expansion, and sometimes it can work beautifully with therapy. However, I do think there can come a time in a woman's life where she becomes so accustomed to retelling the old story, working through survival, that she doesn't thrive, and that's where coaching can come in and literally change your life. Now, how do you know when you're ready for coaching? I think you know when you're like, "I'm done with the story. I feel like I've worked through it. I have told it too many times. I'm not getting the results that I want. I feel stuck. I feel stagnant." That's when you may want to consider coaching if you've been in therapy for a while, but that's a whole different podcast, my friends. But I want you to really think about your investments. What are they saying about you? And it's not even about the investment itself, meaning it's not about the thing you're investing in. It is the energy behind it.

Another thing that I want you to know is that most women wait for evidence before investing. But the self-image-focused woman, she invests to create evidence, okay? She doesn't wait until she's ready. She invests and then she becomes ready through that decision. I come back to my house. I didn't feel like I was ready. There was some nervousness. There was some discomfort in building this house. But that decision demanded that a new version of me show up to support the decision. It was me creating evidence for, this is who I am now, this is how I live, this is what I'm creating. So if you sit around and you wait for evidence before you invest in something, you're going to keep perpetuating the same self-image that's keeping you stuck in the reality that you want to change.

The other thing is that when you stretch your investments, you stretch your identity. Making a scary, but aligned, investment, it pulls you out of your current identity and into a future one. It requires that you show up differently, and that is the point. That's how I want you to think about your investments. Another thing that I wrote down this morning that's really powerful is investments are rituals of belief. Think about it, every dollar, every hour, every yes is either a love letter to your future self or a way of keeping yourself in the past.

Another thing that I realized this morning that's super powerful is that avoidance is also an investment. Hear me out. Think about it: not hiring help. What are you investing in? You're investing in overwhelm. Not buying the dress may be an investment in your invisibility. Not hiring a mentor or joining a program might be an investment in you staying stuck. You see, everything is a choice and every choice shapes your self-image.

I also like to think of investing as an energetic rehearsal, because you don't invest because you're already her. You invest to practice becoming her. I always say you get good at what you practice. I like to think of it as self-image in motion. It's like stretching yourself to invest in the things that you really care about, but maybe you're afraid of, maybe you're nervous about, but deep down you know this investment will change me. Make the investment, and then live into that decision. And we're not just talking about money, you all. We're also talking about investment of your time and your energy. What are you investing in, and what is it saying about you?

And the last thing that I want to say about investments in your self-image is that it's not about the amount. It's about the intention. I think a $4 lipstick can feel more expensive than a $4,000 handbag if it's chosen with clarity, with confidence, and with intention. You can join a mastermind for $20,000, and you can enter into that container with a feeling of insecurity and not belonging. And if you don't work on that, and hopefully, a good mastermind will help you work through that, but if you don't, that mastermind is simply going to mirror back to you what you originally thought about yourself versus, "I'm coming into this mastermind to step it up. I'm coming into this mastermind to prove to myself what's possible. I'm coming into this with a powerful intention of using this container to help me see what I currently don't see and to overcome it." You can see it's a very different energy.

So, again, it's not about the amount. It's about the intention. You can join a $20,000 mastermind and get terrible results because of your self-image and the intention behind your decision, or you could join the School of Self-Image membership for $97 a month and have incredible results because of how you walk into that container. It's the energy behind the investment that shapes you. So I encourage you to really think about what you're investing in: your time, your attention, your energy, and what did those investments mirror back to you.

And if you want to mirror something new, something fresh, something expensive, then it's going to be a little uncomfortable, and that is the point. Growth is uncomfortable. But what it's going to do, it's going to require a new you to show up. It's going to require new thoughts, new habits, new emotions, and that will shape your elevated self-image that will then begin to run the show. And you just keep doing this over and over and over again. This is exactly what we do in the membership. And I believe it's why our members get such astounding results, because we're working at the core. We're working at the one thing that is influencing every area of your life, which is how you see yourself.

Now, next month in the membership, I am going to be teaching my Elegant Success Framework. This really should be a course, but I'm going to do it in a class. We're going to condense it down to the best of what I know around how to create elegant success, because I feel like that's what I've done. I truly can say that I have created a business that I absolutely love, and I've done it in a way where I haven't burnt myself out. I've enjoyed the journey, and I can now look back and say it's because of the things that I'm going to be teaching next month within the School of Self-Image. So if this is work that you want to do, if you want to work at the self-image level, and you want to focus on elegant success, this will be the month that you want to join. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/join, and I cannot wait to see you inside. Until then, have a beautiful week, and I'll see you in next week's episode. And hey, be sure to stick around for the five investments that changed my self-image. Take care.

Right now is the best time to do this work. Right now is the best time to invest in yourself. I've had some of you reach out and say, "Tonya, with everything that's going on in the world right now, I just feel like it's not a good time." Let me tell you all something. First of all, I started my business in 2009, during the recession. During the pandemic, when the world shut down, me and my business thrived, and I'll tell you why. It's because I constantly invest in myself and I'm constantly elevating my self-image. I don't look around at what is happening in the world and use that to tell me what is possible. I don't look around at what's going on on the news, in politics, and the economy to tell me how I should think and feel.

I had a client reach out to me last week, who joined the membership right when it opened up, which was during the pandemic back in 2020, and she said, "Tonya, I cannot imagine my life right now had I not joined. I can't imagine how I would have navigated the whole pandemic, everything shutting down, all of the chaos, all of the fear and worry, had I not had the tools that you teach." She was like, "During that whole time," she was like, "I watched my friends gain weight. I watched them just fall apart, full of anxiety, full of fear." And she was like, "I thrived during that time." And that's what we do within the membership. We take whatever circumstances are handed to us and we figure out how to thrive in them, how to see ourselves at a higher level, and therefore create very, very different results.

When the world shuts down, we open up. When everyone is afraid, we find our peace. When everybody's clinging and hanging on out fear, we let go out of faith. And I will tell you, that way of being helps us to transcend all that's happening in reality, and it helps us to create a new reality. I've done it time and time and time again, when the world was telling me it wasn't possible, and I've watched my clients do it. This is why, right now, if you're afraid, if you're full of scarcity, if you're worried, it's the perfect time to invest in yourself. You are your greatest asset. Investing in your brain, investing in your environment, investing in your style, all of those investments elevate how you see yourself. They change your self-image, and it's inevitable. When you change your self-image, you change your results, you change what's possible, you change what you attract.

And that is exactly what I teach you within the School of Self-Image membership. And if you join as an annual member, you also get access to The Wealthy Woman. This is a course that I created to teach women how to create wealth. As someone who grew up in a trailer, who grew up what most people would consider poor, I know what it's like to struggle with my money. I know what it's like to struggle with scarcity and just a poor and limiting money mindset. And I also know what it's like to be wealthy. This is why I'm such a good teacher of this topic. I have so many of my members say that they appreciate the way I teach it because they can tell I can relate to the before. I can relate to being anxious and afraid around money. And I also know what it's like to live in the after. And I know how to get you from the before to the after. And I've had some members express concern about the economy.

I also have a dear friend who is in the membership, and she said, "Tonya, I really think it would be so powerful if you would teach a class about how to navigate this time." This is a friend who I've had for years. She has known me since I started my business, and she has seen how I just continue to up level no matter what is happening in the world, and it's something that's available to all of us. And so, I've decided that I'm going to be teaching a bonus module for The Wealthy Woman to support you all.

So if you're a member, be on the lookout for an email that will have all of the details. I don't know exactly when it's going to happen, but it will be before the holidays. And if you're not a member and you want to take part in The Wealthy Woman to support you in creating a wealthy self-image so that no matter what's happening in the world, you will continue to up level your wealth and your net worth, and your abundance, come and join us as an annual member. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/join, and I cannot wait to see you in the membership. I cannot wait to support you.

So, today, since we're talking about investments and we're talking about money, I wanted to share five investments that have changed my self-image. Your self-image is how you see yourself. It's the thoughts that you have about yourself. Now, some of you may argue that you don't need to make investments to change your thoughts, and this is true. You don't need to do anything. You can attempt to do this work without investing time, money, or energy into anything. But without investments in yourself, you will slow your progress and you will make it so much harder.

One of the first things that I have members do within the School of Self-Image is to choose an extraordinary goal. And I've had so many women come back to me after a year, because that's how long we focus on the extraordinary goal, and they've achieved it, and they're so surprised. They'll tell me, they're like, "I have been trying for decades to do this, and I can't believe I was able to do it within a year." And it's because they invested in themselves to learn new tools, new skills, new mindsets, new ways of being.

Several years ago, I was in a mastermind with Benjamin Hardy. Many of you may know him. He's written several really phenomenal books. One of them is called Willpower Doesn't Work. And another one that he wrote, one of his very first books, is called Slipstream, and he gave me a copy of it. And I read that book, and I'm like, "This is why we should invest in ourselves." The whole idea of Slipstream is that you find someone that has done what you're trying to do, who has forged the path, who has learned a skill, learned a way of being, learned something, and you get behind them, and they can carry you further and faster than you could ever go alone.

And when I look back in my life, I've had so many slipstreams that I've gotten into that have carried me so much further than me trying to do it on my own. And then there have been moments in my life where I've tried to do it on my own, and I've been so frustrated that I just couldn't get there fast enough, or I couldn't get there at all. And if I'd known the power of investing in myself, that through investments we can find our slipstreams, I would've done it much sooner. When I think about a lot of the rooms that I place myself in, I have to pay money to be in those rooms, but within those rooms, I find slipstreams. I would love to be a slipstream for you all if you're called to this work, but you have to be willing to invest in yourself. So I'm going to share with you five specific investments that have changed my self-image, that have elevated how I see myself.

Number one is not going to be a surprise to most of you if you listen to this podcast, but it's been a significant investment. I don't know exactly how much, but I was trying to come up with a figure before I started recording this episode, and how much I've invested in coaching, and it's well into the six figures, and the ROI on that is invaluable. Not only with how coaching has allowed me to create wealth using my brain, but also how I feel. That's the most important part, you all. Who cares about money if you're miserable? Who cares about losing weight if you're still unhappy? I want to have tools in my life that help me to live with joie de vivre, and also to support me when I'm not feeling joyful, so that I don't spiral out of control. And having that is precious. You can't even put a price tag to it, beyond just being able to handle life with the tools that I've learned through investing and coaching. Coaching has allowed me to create myself on purpose.

Many years ago, I discovered that I did not have to continue to be the person that I was being, that I had a say so, that I could completely reinvent myself using coaching, and that is what I have done over and over and over again. In fact, some of you all, during The Worthy Woman Workshop, I showed you some of my before pictures, and many of you said, "Oh my God, that doesn't even look like you. You look like a completely new person." And I'm like, "Yeah, and I feel like one too. I think like a completely new person," which has allowed me to create a completely different reality than that version of me years ago. And that is thanks to coaching, the coaching that helped me to elevate my self-image, to expand what was possible for me.

Now, there are people out there who pooh-pooh coaching. They make fun of it, they don't believe in it, and they ridicule it every chance they get. And every time I see one of those people, do you know what I realize? There is no way I would want to trade lives with them. I have never seen someone who ridicules coaching have a life that I actually would want to emulate. But the people that I look up to, the people that I'm inspired by, the people that I would say, "Hey, can I trade lives with you for a day because your life looks pretty fun?" almost every single one of them has a coach or a mentor of some sort.

So you tell me, is it worth the investment? I can tell you, from my experience, it is the number one investment, hands down, that I have ever made in myself. And I can say this without any doubt. I would not be where I am today because I wouldn't be who I am today had it not been for coaching. And I continue to invest in coaching because I'm not done yet. I feel like I'm just getting started. I feel like you all are seeing Tonya 2.0, and I'm heading towards Tonya 5.0, and I know that I can't get there without coaching. And I think I'm a masterful coach with my clients. I can see things that they can't see, and the same goes for me. I have my own blind spots I can't see within myself, which is why it's so valuable to have really incredible coaches around you that can help you see where you might be holding yourself back.

The second investment that has changed my self-image in huge ways is investing in my style. Now, the majority of this investment has been in actual clothing, but I have also invested in discovering my style, which is so important, because when you invest in discovering your style, what you're really investing in is support in you getting to know yourself. Because as women, we forget who we are. We forget who we came here to be. We forget our essence. So in the beginning, for me, I was investing in courses. I was investing in certifications to figure out my own style. I wanted to figure out who I wanted to be and what I wanted to express on purpose, and how to do that through clothing because I knew it was important, but I didn't realize how important it was until I started to see the effect in my life.

And then I started to invest in my wardrobe. Once you know your style, it's so much easier to build a wardrobe that represents who you are. It's so much easier to get dressed. It's easier to feel confident because you feel aligned and you know that you are showing up on purpose. And so, this investment that I've been making in my style over the years has definitely had such a huge impact on my self-image. When you get dressed in something that represents who you want to be and you look at yourself, it's reconfirming all of these positive thoughts about yourself. I am a woman who knows who she is. I'm a woman who respects herself. I am confident. I'm a professional. Whatever it is that you want the story to be, you can use clothing to reflect that back to you, but you have to be willing to invest in your wardrobe.

Now, I am not suggesting that you go into debt buying designer clothing. That is not what this is about. What it is about is you seeing yourself as worthy enough to look and feel your best, and investing in figuring out what your style is, and investing in pieces that represent that style, so that you can show up in the world as the best version of yourself. And in doing so, you will see yourself differently. And when you see yourself differently, you create different results because your self-image truly is creating your entire life.

Okay, the third investment that I've made more recently that change my self-image in crazy ways, good ways, was back in 2020, when I moved into a penthouse apartment. And do you know what's funny about that? Years ago, I was coming up with different book titles that one day I might write, and one was called From Baptist to Buddhist, even though I'm not Buddhist and I'm not Baptist, but that was the gist of my spiritual journey. And the other title I remember writing down was From the Trailer Park to the Penthouse. Now, this was years ago, years ago, before I ever lived in a penthouse. So remember, words are powerful. Don't forget that. These little things that we write down and speak, don't be surprised if you stay the course, one day they pop up unexpectedly, and you're like, "Oh, I remember wanting that years ago."

But anyway, what happened back in 2020, I moved to Denver. I left a relationship where I'd been living with him for several years, and I was on my own. Now, I had lived on my own before. I had paid rent before, but I was still mentally stuck in the version of me who'd paid rent years before when I wasn't as successful as I was now. And so, when I started looking for apartments, first of all, I told my best friend, Brooke, I'm like, "I don't know if I can afford rent." And she's like, "What are you talking about?" She was like, "Look how much money you make." I'm like, "I haven't caught up with it yet, obviously." But I started looking around and I gave myself this ridiculously low budget. And so, when I started telling people, "This is what my budget is," and they were showing me what I could get for that, I was very just shocked. I was like, "What? This is not what I expected." Plus, Denver is way more expensive than where I moved from. So it was a little bit of a shock.

And so, I was at this one building, and the guy, the leasing agent that was showing me around, he was like, "I feel like I just need to show you this other apartment." And I think it's funny, now that I look back, because he was looking at how I was dressed, and he couldn't see me living in the little tiny studio apartment with no view based on how I was showing up. Now, he never said that to me, but I feel like that's what happened. So he was like, "Let me just show you this other apartment."

Well, he takes me up to the top floor and shows me the penthouse. When I walked in to that space, it felt like I was finally home. Do you all know what I mean? I felt like this is the woman that I've been trying to get to for all of these years. This is where she lives. This is where she's hanging out. It was the most gorgeous view of the skyline of downtown Denver. Also had mountain views. It was high-end appliances, hardwood floors. It was great. Lots of natural light, huge, tall ceilings. Everything that I had imagined that I wanted for myself was in that apartment.

Now, it was only two bedrooms, but I was single. I didn't need more than that. It was perfection. And then Rodney told me the rent, and it was three times more than the budget that I had in my head. And instantly, my brain went crazy. My brain started telling me things like, "This is ridiculous. You're being irresponsible. Who do you think you are? You don't need this kind of space. You're being impractical." You see, my self-image did not match the space, because had it matched the space, it would've been a no-brainer. It would've been easy.

So I had a choice, and this is the choice that we all have. I could listen to my brain, go get that studio apartment with a terrible view, and keep confirming a self-image that was limiting me, or I could say yes to the apartment and use that space to grow my self-image. And that is what I did. Being in that space changed me. And we talk about this a lot within the membership, but your surroundings are always mirroring back to you what you believe to be true about yourself. So if you want to change how you see yourself, change what you see.

Over the course of living in that penthouse, it was during the pandemic, so I had a lot of time by myself. I felt like I was dating myself again. It was so amazing. I fell in love with myself all over again in that penthouse. I was alone and happy. I was being held in a beautiful space, and people would argue, "God, that's so much rent, such a waste." And what they didn't see was how that space, how that environment nurtured, watered, and gave sunshine to a plant that was a little bit withered at the time.

That space brought me back to life. That space reminded me of my worth and my future. That space mirrored back to me abundance, luxury, beauty, and that energy fed me. And so, as I was being fed, guess what I was doing? I was putting out that energy, which allowed me to have the best year I'd ever had in my business. Making the decision to rent that penthouse demanded a new version of me, and that's what made it such an incredible investment. The ROI that came out of that rent, that seemed so impossible, was a new woman who was capable of so much more. You ready for the fourth one?

The fourth investment that changed my self-image was investing in an assistant. So not only did I move into a penthouse, but I also immediately hired a personal assistant. My poor brain, what she went through during that year, but I had her back. I'm like, "I got you, girl. I know you're afraid, but we're going to do this." But hiring a personal assistant created a huge shift in my self-image. Up until then, I'd had assistants in the business, like virtual assistants, but I never had an assistant that would come over and literally take care of me and my personal needs. I grew up, probably like many of you all, thinking, "I need to do it on my own. Work hard. Don't ask for help. Be strong." And I'm really good at that, and I didn't want to be good at that anymore. I wanted help. I wanted support. And I decided to let myself have what I wanted. And I encourage all of you to do that as well.

And so, hiring my assistant changed me because, number one, it confirmed that I am a woman who is willing to be supported. I'm a woman who doesn't have to do it by myself. I'm a woman who, turns out, other people want to support. So that was one way that it changed my self-image. It also elevated me into seeing myself as this boss. Hiring my assistant was mirroring back to me, like, "Yeah, you're in the big leagues now. You can't do it on your own anymore, sister. You need help. You've got to focus on growing your company. You need to focus on your vision. You need to focus on taking care of yourself so that you can be the best coach, the best CEO that this company and you need."

Hiring an assistant confirmed the belief that my time is valuable. And when you believe that your time is valuable, guess how you treat time? Like it's valuable. You don't sit around and procrastinate. You don't sit around and watch Netflix when you're supposed to be recording a podcast. You get to work. And hiring an assistant mirrored that back to me. I'm like, "Okay, she's come over to help me. I'm not just going to sit around and watch Game of Thrones. I'll do that when it's scheduled, but right now, let's get to work. That's why I'm hiring her, to give me more time, so I can focus on the things that are important to me, the things that I've committed to, the things that will help me grow."

And what's so interesting is our brain freaks out about investments that will actually help us to make money. I remember the first time I invested in a mastermind, my brain freaked out, but it was that investment that helped me to grow my business. When I invest in a new team member, sometimes depending on the salary, my brain wants to freak out, but I know that investing in that team member is going to help the company grow. And the same was for my assistant. My brain wanted to freak out, but I'm like, "No." I have reached a point where I don't have the time and I don't have the capability of really expanding anymore, so I'm going to have to get some personal help. And that investment help me to see myself in such a different way, and therefore, create very different results.

Okay, the fifth investment that I've recently made, and I think I've talked about this on the podcast before, but I had to throw it into this episode because it's had a big impact on my self-image, and that is investing in working with a tax and business attorney. I mean, he calls himself a tax attorney, but when I go and sit in his office, we're not talking about taxes a lot. Being in that office with him, sitting at this huge mahogany conference table, with legit whiteboards all around, and his other attorney sitting in there and me, and sometimes he'll bring in people that he wants me to meet, very successful business people, it's blown my mind at how I'm seeing myself so differently as a CEO, as a business owner, as a woman in business.

When I go in there, I step into my alter ego, which some of you may know, some of you may not know, but her name is Bella Bold, and me and Bella Bold, we get to business in that room. I don't have time for all of the, "Who do you think you are? You don't know what you're doing. You're not that smart. You're not a good CEO." Whatever the thoughts are in my brain, I don't have time for it in that room. I'm like, "Oh, no, we are practicing something else around here." So being in that room has helped me to see myself as a legitimate business woman.

Now, I don't go in there trying to pretend that I know stuff that I don't know, because it turns out that's not a smart businesswoman. I go in there in full confidence that I have built something extraordinary. I go in there in full confidence of knowing that everything I need is within me, and it's okay to be supported for the things that I might need support around, but it's all within me. And I ask thousands of questions. I speak my opinion. If something doesn't feel right, I tell people. I ask them to explain things a hundred times if I need them to, but I own my presence in that room. I use that investment and that environment as a practice ground to change my self-image.

Now, some of you all may be thinking, "But Tonya, you're just faking it until you make it." Listen, isn't everyone? I have no problems with that. Although I did share on The Worthy Woman last week, I was like, "Someone asked me about that." They're like, "It just feels so bad." And I'm like, "Of course, because no one wants to feel like a fake." I just don't think of it that way. The way I think about it is I'm practicing it until I become it, and that is what every human being on the planet is doing. No one comes out of the womb being able to do spreadsheets or play professional basketball. No one comes out of the womb just being good at making millions of dollars or, I don't know, driving a race car. No, you have to practice.

And here's the thing, you all. You get good at what you practice. The problem is a lot of you are practicing ways of being that don't serve you, and you're getting good at it. You're getting really good at being overwhelmed. You're getting really good at being poor. You're getting really good at feeling bad about yourself because that's what you practice all of the time. I'm just suggesting that we practice something that serves us, because as we do, we're going to get better at it. So investing and working with this attorney who really is like a business mentor to me, it's been an investment in seeing myself differently, because that experience is like a playground for me to practice this next version of me. And not only that, but I'm exposing myself to different perspectives. I'm exposing myself to new ideas. I'm exposing myself to knowledge that I didn't have. And through that exposure, we also begin to see ourselves differently.

So those are the five investments that have changed my self-image. Now, there are other investments that I've made that have had an impact, but these are the big ones that when I look back, they were key moments that I started to see myself differently. And so, I want you all to be thinking about how can you invest your money, your time, and your energy in things that will have an impact on your self-image in a positive way? Because when you change how you see yourself, what you see outside of you changes as well.

Now, if you want to make a really good investment in yourself, and I'm not just saying this because it's my membership, I'm saying this because literally hundreds and hundreds of women have said those words to me exactly, best investment ever. In fact, I'll be sure to share some of those on my Instagram stories. However, if you are ready to invest in yourself, because you are your greatest asset, come and join us before the doors close within the School of Self-Image membership. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/join, and come join us. I can't wait to see you inside the membership, and I can't wait to see you on next week's episode. Have a great week, everyone. Cheers.

Hey, are you ready to transform your self-image, but lack direction and support? If so, I'd like to invite you to join the School of Self-Image. This is an exclusive monthly membership where you'll create your own powerful before-and-after story. Through weekly classes and coaching, you'll learn powerful techniques on how to elevate the quality of your mindset, style, and surroundings to change how you see yourself and create extraordinary results in your life. Head over to schoolofselfimage.com/join to learn more.