I think many women look at the gurus and experts of the self help world and think, “Those chicks have their stuff together.” We see everyone’s exciting lives posted all over Facebook, we see pictures on Instagram; we see tweets of success. Haha. Don’t be fooled. We are all human beings with issues, problems, fears and bad days. We have bills to pay, children to shuffle around, husbands who want dinner on the table, careers that demand our attention, and let’s not forget our own desires and needs. And, if it makes you feel any better, I rarely feel like I have it all together!
However, I’ve stopped putting the pressure on myself to pretend that I do. Aaahhhh….life becomes so much more beautiful when you take that pressure off and just be real. In my opinion, this the art of being a powerful woman.
Just last week, I was in Paris with two of my girlfriends. Over a café crème and croissant, I turned to my friend Julie and said, “I feel like I need to go within and curl up with my soul for awhile.” (As a side note: France always holds a mirror up to my truth).
I need to put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on my life.
Of course, this brought up a lot of fear. What will people think? What will happen to my one woman business? What will happen to my friends if I’m not there 24-7? What will people think if I say no?
Then, I came back to my own core teachings/questions–
- What will I think of me if I don’t honor myself?
- Who cares what people think of me?
- How do I want to feel?
- What do I need?
As I type this, I’m sitting on my back porch, staring at my clematis vine, buds waiting to explode into a vibrant violet flower. I feel like that’s been my life for awhile now–budding, opening and shining for the whole world to see. For sure, it’s a beautiful thing. Who doesn’t love being the flower?
But, as I sit here, I realize that I want to be more like the carrot right now–digging deep into the soil of life, gaining nourishment from the ground so I can become sweet, rich and deep in my own being. I want to sit by the embers of my own soul and be warmed by my own truth.
At the beginning of the year, I chose trust as one of my words. I had no idea why, but it spoke to me. Something told me that it was what I was going to need this year. Now, I’m seeing it clearly. I need to trust my inner voice. I need to trust my desires. I need to truth my voice. I need to trust that the perfect people are showing up in my life to teach me what I need to learn. I need to trust that that I’m being guided towards my own sweetness.
So, for now, I’m putting up the “Do Not Disturb” sign on my life. I’m craving stillness, solitude, crazy self-care and truth. I want to write, walk in the woods, cook fabulous meals that are like art, share coffee with friends, plan a once in a lifetime Paris retreat for women to experience the Parisian magic that changed me (and continues to), curl up with my daughter, have long talks with my husband, plant basil, sit in bubble baths, slather my body in coconut oil, do headstands, meditate, clean out closets, reread the classics, sit and do nothing everything. I want to dream, scheme and plan. I want to go within, close the door and put out the “Do Not Disturb” sign.
I know that when I’m ready, I’ll take down the sign, step out into the world probably wearing a pair of Louboutins and lipstick! I’ll have more to offer, and who knows what it might be. I don’t need to know. You don’t need to know. It will be known when the time is right. But, I guarantee you this: it will be delicious, like a big, fat juicy carrot!
A French lady once said to me, “Darling, the art of being a woman requires solitude so that the artist can rest and dream.”
I’m closing my door for awhile to rest and dream, and I give you permission to do the same.
3 Days of Extraordinary
Extraordinary Women Do Extraordinary Things ...
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