Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.


Anaïs Nin

Love it or hate it, the French are very careful in choosing who they let in. Here’s an idea: You’ll move to Paris and become BFFs with your neighbors and throw parties which the entire arrondisement will attend. Think again. The French are very wary about newbies. They like their traditions and a close group of friends, which was cultivated years ago.

While this may not be the greatest thing (especially for someone with great aspirations of becoming a friend to Paris), I think there is something that we all can learn from this:

It’s what I call my “Red Velvet Rope Policy.”

A long time ago, I learned that who we surround ourselves with directly reflects who we are.

I want to be my absolute best. Thus, I want to surround myself with only the best.


If someone has a toxic personality full of gossip, complaints, excuses, refusals, and a life that feels like a battlefield, that person won’t get past my velvet rope. If you do, you will be kindly removed.

Yet, I’ve been that person, the one letting everyone in and the one creating a negative space of my own.

One of the best gifts that I’ve received in life were dear friends who created boundaries, shielding themselves from my negativity. It made me think about who I was and how I was showing up in the world.

Becoming mindful of this required self-responsibility for all the negative energy that I spewed out over the years.

So where am I now?

I choose to surround myself with people who open me up to new worlds:  the dreamers and doers; people who support and encourage; those who’ll dance under the moonlight on a Monday night, sip Champagne (or tea) while discussing life and love, be challenged by, spontaneously take trips around the world with; love with their hearts wide open; and create experiences that our 90-year-old selves will be proud of.

In being mindful of who I let cross my velvet rope, new energies, friendships and worlds have emerged.

If you want to change your life, first take inventory of who you surround yourself with.

I’m not asking you to shut off your world from new friends like the French do (please don’t).  In fact, be open to new faces and souls that inspire and lift you up.

Treat your space lovingly, kindly, and like the sacred place that it is.

Create a Red Velvet Rope policy for your life: Only let the best in. (tweet it)

Do you have a red velvet rope up around your precious life energy?  I’d love to hear in the comments below.




This is YOUR Time To Transform Your Self Image