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Is it just me or does our society promote and encourage a hard life?  It’s no wonder that we are so busy chasing, pushing and resisting our lives that we’ve disconnected from peace and ease. That’s why I feel compelled to start today’s post off with some Abraham Hicks: WHY do you make it so hard for the Universe to give it to you, that you have to DIE to get it, you see? 

It should be easier. 
It should be A LOT easier. 
It should be easier for ALL of you.
You should be having fun.

In every moment you should be either interested, eager, or feeling fun.

In other words, that is the way life is supposed to be for you,

with brief little spurts of contrast to help you keep moving forward.

But this beatin’ the drum of what’s wrong is way out of hand.

This begs the question:  What if life could be easier?

A client recently called me the ease whisperer. It’s true. I’m always looking for the path of least resistance. Call it lazy, if you wish. I call it brilliant.

But, ten years ago, I would have more likely been called the crazy, busy lady who didn’t have space in her life to breath.

Just like most modern women, I was taught that life was hard. This mentality was delivered to me in phrases like:

You must work hard.
No pain. No gain.
Stay busy.
Don’t let the grass grow under your feet.
Go harder.
Stay on top.

I was really good at hard. I usually was the first to volunteer to work a holiday night shift to make more money. I would work out my body to the point of injury. And, I was the Queen of Busy.

I was exhausted, miserable and too afraid to slow down.

Stop and smell the roses? Who had time for that?

So, what changed? Well, as cliché as it may sound, I went to Paris.

Suddenly, I felt that my entire life had been built on lies. And, I came home from that trip determined to live with more ease, attention and joie de vivre. More importantly, I returned with a deep commitment to have a romance with myself and life.

I had to experience the fear dolce far niente (Italian for ‘sweet idleness), but here’s the beauty of it all: the more I ease I felt, the more clarity I gained.

I’m one of those rare creatures in a fast-paced world that wholeheartedly believes that life can be full of ease.

Some days I do it well; other days, I fail miserably.

But, I remind myself that this is not about perfection; it’s about intention and progress.

I want to live in a world where we take breaks, breathe more fully, enjoy our daily lives more, cut our to-do lists in half (or more), work smarter (not harder) and leisurely hustle through life.

Now, let me be clear: ease doesn’t mean that you sit on your sofa and sip Moscow Mules all day expecting the world to fall at your feet.  That will most definitely create more hardship.

That’s why I like this definition of ease:“to make (something unpleasant, painful, or intense) less serious or severe.”

So, if you’re craving more ease, here are 10 ways to get you started:

1. Ask “Easy” Questions. Your mind is a creative tool that will answer any question you ask of it. Ask poor questions, and you’ll get poor answers. So, if you want to know the 1,000 reasons why life is hard, ask that question and you’ll probably get 1001. But, what if you asked one of my favorite questions: how can I make this easier? I’ll tell you what will happen; you’ll find more creative solutions to seemingly hard problems.

2.  Cut your to-do list in half.I know it may freak you out, but just give it a try. Most people are doing things that aren’t really necessary for what they deeply desire.  And, packing your days with busyness leaves very little space for creativity and clairity.  When you begin to slow down a bit, you’ll discover what’s truly important to you. Be honest: do you really want to participate on that board? Or head up the fundraiser? It’s okay to say no.  In fact, it’s highly recommended.

3.  Stop Comparing. If you want to make your life hard, keep looking over the fence at your neighbor’s life.  If you want to spin in circles, look at what everyone else is doing. If you want to drive yourself crazy, constantly compare yourself to others. But, if you truly desire ease, stop it!

4. Don’t be a Busy Whore.One of the ways to guarantee tension is to pack your schedule from morning until night (and, by no means give yourself a break). Be the busiest lady you know.  It’s the perfect recipe for overwhelm and hardship. Or, you can do what I do: at the beginning of my week, I sit down and think about who I want to become and I structure my schedule around the answer.  When I take a peek at my calendar, I check in with myself to make sure it feels calm, manageable and efficient. If it doesn’t, I start deleting. Busy is not sexy; it’s crazy making. (tweet it)

5.  Honor Your Feminine Flow (Literally).My business manager loves me so much that she marks my calendar each month with “Aunt Flow Visiting.” During this time, I am mindful of my energy levels, my moods and what my body needs. That’s usually when I carve out a day or two of relaxation and fewer work projects. Regardless of whether you work for yourself or not, please honor your body’s needs and rhythms and give yourself some extra TLC on those days.

6.  Declutter.  A cluttered home is a telltale sign of a cluttered mind.  Begin to look at your environment under scrutiny and ask yourself: do I love this item or does it make my life easier? Start ridding your life of everything else.

7.  Cultivate a Mind of Ease. Every action I have suggested will not create ease unless you work on that pretty head of yours.  I tell clients that ease is a mindset. Yes, I’ve been that woman sitting on a beach and thinking, “I don’t have time for this.” No amount of external manipulation will create ease if your mind is wired for hard. Here are some mantras to get you started.

8.  Focus on Today. Nothing will spin you into crazyville than trying to figure out your entire future. While it’s important to have a vision of where you want to go, you’re only going to get there by caring for this day that you’ve been so blessed with. Bring your mind to what’s happening right now in front of you. That’s all there ever is.

9.  Get Your Beauty Sleep.  If you’re body is tired from staying up until the wee hours of the morning crushing it, then you’re ignoring a basic physiological need for rest and rejuvenation. I understand this one all too well. My mind constantly tries to convince me to stay up and finish a project, clean the house or wind down with a movie. Every time I give in, my body and mind rebels the next day. If you want ease, go to bed!

10.  Have a Grateful Heart. I know, I know….there’s a lot of things you want. Me too. In fact, desire is sexy and highly encouraged.  But, if you’re constantly focused on what you don’t have, you’ll be one miserable chick.  So, in your quest for your dreams, don’t forget to stop and pay tribute to the wonderful life you already have. I believe this is the secret sauce to the Universe (and ease).

Aaaaahhhhh…doesn’t that feel better?

So, now it’s your turn. Do you have ease in your life? If not, what’s standing in the way?

And, if you do, please share with us how you do it.

I’d also be honored if you’d spread this Ease Movement.  Just click here to tweet it.  Super easy ;).

With Ease and Love,


The Self-Image Manifesto

You’re Invited To Live An Extraordinary Life!