She was free in her wildness. She was a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and to no city.

Roman Payne, The Wanderess

Je ne sais quoi. Most likely, you have heard the phrase before, but what emotion does it evoke for you? For me, it’s two-fold: it’s that special French feminine essence, but it’s also used to describe what is impossible to put into words.
And its ability to transcend description is where its magic truly lies.

Here’s what I mean:

Many American women focus on the externalities of beauty: perfectly coifed hair, extensions, an idealistic designer wardrobe, being a certain size in the mirror, and looking like the cover of Vogue. But the popular French phrase conveys so much more than putting on your Jimmy Choos.

It’s an emotional embodiment.

The French woman nurtures her internal well-being as much as her external beauty. Life is not about impressing others but enjoying herself.

And, as a result, we all become enamored by that special je ne sais quoi.

The French woman is effortlessly chic while looking like she doesn’t give a damn; keeps a slim physique without the diet drama; and lives so much more with less.

Her je ne sais quoi leaves many women in envy. We desperately desire her secrets.

Don’t worry, ma cherie, I will offer you my personal tips to be an indescribable woman:

1. Accentuate your strengths.

Focus on what you have going on, rather than what you think you need to adjust.

Curvy? Stop trying to look like a twig and rock what you have.
Have a sense of humor? Make us laugh, don’t try to be the sophisticated one.
Do you have a birthmark or mole? Don’t hide it, pull a Marilyn and make it your signature.

Remember: you don’t need to be fixed. You need to own what you have.

2. Keep it natural.

I love beautiful lipstick and an artistically defined face.

But, lately I’ve been practicing adding less to my natural features and allowing my hair to flow freely and wildly. By choosing to do this– with great surprise– so many terrific compliments have come my way.

3. Bring passion to everything you do.

Passion is within you and is the essence of what you bring to life. Whether you’re washing the dishes or attending a red carpet gala, do it passionately.

The world is intrigued by a passionate woman.

4. Dress Your Best.

I encourage you to wake up in the morning with the intention of how you want to celebrate the day.

Use your clothing and your outward appearance as a tool to establish and represent your state of feeling.

You are a walking piece of art. Decorate yourself with love, glamour and self-expression. Who do you want to be in the world? Represent that.

5. Dine on Deliciousness.

A French woman doesn’t resist good food and knows that idea will surely backfire.

Rather, she enjoys taking immense pleasure in quality food (in moderation, bien sur).

Chocolate and croissants every day? Probably not. But, on occasion? Absolument!

6. Stop Trying So Hard.

Possessing je ne sais quoi isn’t about trying to impress others and do more.

Really, it’s about being you, which is about doing less and enjoying more.

7. Be Self-Possessed.

Know what you love, what turns you on, and what you’re passionate about. Build your life around those things. It’s a pretty simple prescription.

If you choose not to look around at what everyone else is doing, you will build your life on inner joy and personal radiance. Find your answers within and then share that passion with the world.

8. Make Pleasure a Priority.

Long baths, facials, lovely novels, strolls through a garden, fresh flowers, a signature perfume. Yes, none of them are essential to living, but do you want to merely survive?

Pleasure ignites your soul and offers the passion to carry throughout your day. Make it a priority, no matter what else is happening.

9. Simplify.

The French woman hasn’t overwhelmed her life with excess, too many responsibilities, people and things. For this reason, she has more space to strive for passionate pursuits and stress-free living.

Let go of the stuff and you’ll have more space to live.  And, remember, this is an on-going process.

10. Saunter.

Are you the type of woman who walks or races through life? Are you a saunterer, taking your time to savor the moment?

Instead of living life like it were a marathon, slow down and show the world that there is no hurry and beg for them to witness you lavishing in life.

11. Live Within the Mystery.

Many people have their next 15 years planned out.

Yes, it’s wonderful to visualize who want to be and where you are going, but it is so captivating to not need all of the answers and engage in the mystery of life.

Let go of control. How does that feel?

For many (including myself), it is life changing and creates the happiest woman in the room.

The only thing that we can control is how we decide to presently show up in the moment. Everything else is illusory.

12. Be Playful.

We are often so serious and crave control.  We are encouraged to push harder, go faster and constantly uplevel.  Exhausting.

Where’s the room to live in all of that pressure?

A women with je ne sais quoi does not take life too seriously. Rather, she approaches life with friskiness that delights everyone she encounters.

So, my daring beauty, what do you choose?

Are you a woman who fits into a neat category or are you an indescribable lady who represents courage, passionate pursuits, and flirty fun?

Truly, I desire to know. So please share with us in the comments below or over on the Facebook page There’s always fun conversation happening over there.

And, if you are feeling in the mood to share the love, click right here and merci! 

Unabashedly yours,


Self-Image Makeover

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