"What we do not claim remains invisible. That is why the process of personal transformation — the true work of spiritual growth, whether couched in religious terms or not — is the only antidote to the pernicious effects of society's backlash against genuine female empowerment." - Marianne Williamson, A Woman's Worth
A woman's worth is continually subjected to societal expectations around beauty, weight, motherhood, relationships, career paths, money, and more in today's world. And the worst part is that most women are convinced of the soundness of such judgments.
After all, we've been hearing all kinds of crazy rules about what it means to be a "good woman" since we were little girls.
I hear from women every day who have bought into the ridiculous notions that the world has imposed upon them.
I hear absurd things like:
- I'm too fat
- I'm not pretty enough
- I don't want kids, and I know that makes me a horrible person, but …
- I'll never make as much money as my husband does
- I feel selfish taking time out to get my nails done, let alone go in for a massage
- I shouldn't spend money on that - it's too frivolous
- I feel like a terrible mother because I don't have time to make anything for the school bake sale
- Oh, my husband would never let me do that
- I'm just not savvy enough to run my own business
- I don't have the strength to do something like that
- I know I was a b&#@h, but I had to say something. I tried to be nice about it …
- He interrupted me, but I guess that's OK – I mean, he is my supervisor
Aaargh! Enough! When I hear women saying these kinds of things, it just breaks my heart. And, it makes me mad.
Look, I know that it's tough to find and maintain a sense of self-worth when we live in constant fear of whether or not we're being kind enough, sweet enough, present enough, lady-like enough, mother-like enough … just enough.
Enough to meet what societal standards say is enough to be a worthy woman.
Nonetheless, to find and appreciate our value and worth as women, we must look within ourselves and celebrate all that we are.
We have to push aside those old, outdated messages that attempt to cage us into what society believes a woman should be.
A Woman's Worth Is The Whole Of Who She Is
We are so much more than our bodies, jobs, behaviors, or roles in life. We are more than our age, weight, or beauty; more than the amount of money we make, our relationship status, or what our primary caregivers, church leaders, teachers, and society told us we should be.
A genuinely empowered woman knows her worth is beyond measure.
Your self-image measures your self-worth, which is the only thing that should define the rules for you.
With self-worth comes a boatload of confidence, self-esteem, and personal development.
You, my friends, are free to create a new definition of your worth, one thought, one feeling, and one action at a time.
You are free to enter any profession, have kids or not, be partnered or not, want what you want, follow your dreams and live a life you love.
You get to see yourself through a much wider lens than society would usually permit - a lens that captures the totality of your being.
As you continue to see yourself as powerful, deserving, whole, and worthy, you'll enjoy so much more of what the world has to offer.
So how can you take back your power? How can you define your worth as a woman?
Here are a few ideas – take them and run with them. Then, add a few of your own!
Stop comparing yourself to other women
No matter how many affirmations you do or journal entries you make, you'll never feel worthy if you continue to see yourself as less than, or more than, another.
We all do it sometimes – and it gets easier and easier with handy little tools like Instagram – but we've got to kick that habit to the curb.
Remember, you are unique, special, and terrific – as each of us is.
Practicing gratitude, focusing on your strengths, and celebrating others can go a very long way toward getting you out of the me-compared-to-her cycle of misery.
The comparison trap can only offer anxiety, rumination, and perhaps overspending as you try to keep up with Ms. Jones.
Free yourself from the better than/ less than the trap in any way that you can.
If It Feels Good, Do It
You get to decide what feels good and what doesn't. That means you also get to decide what you will and won't allow in your life.
Your worth is not determined by what society says is or is not acceptable behavior.
And, by the way, you also get to want what you want without apology.
You know what they say about opinions … everybody has one. If you live your life by the opinions of others, you might make them feel better (for the millisecond they are taking time out to think about you) – but at your own expense.
Not sure what feels good? Don't know what you want?
What if you start by figuring out what you DON'T want?
This is where a good journal will come in handy.
Stop Beating Yourself Up
Negative self-talk will only serve to bring you down and trap you there. What you say to yourself and how you say it is potent.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- I'm so disorganized
- I feel so scattered
- I'm completely overwhelmed
- I can't believe I was so stupid
- Ugh, what an idiot
- OMG, how could I have forgotten that? I'm so irresponsible
- I'm so fat- I could never wear something like that
Hurtful sentiments like these are as equally damaging (if not more so) as if you took a baseball bat and beat yourself up with it.
Would you say such things to your sweet little niece, daughter, granddaughter, or the little girl next door?
Of course, you wouldn't! So, I'm wondering … Why on earth would you say such things to yourself?
Treat yourself like the precious, worthy being that you are – with the utmost care, kindness, and love.
We all mess up sometimes. We all get sideswiped by the images we see in glossy magazines and Instagram.
What if next time you took a moment to reframe?
For example, if you have a negative thought like, "I'm completely overwhelmed" you might reframe it by saying, " Look at all I've accomplished!"
Only You Can Define Your Worth as a Woman
As long as we live our truth and express our lives fully, there's no limit to our worth.
We are servants only to our dreams, not to society's expectations. To live in complete freedom is to live the life we choose. Without limitation, shame or justification.
Live Your Life With Style, Flare, and Elegance
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