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Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.

Oprah Winfrey

Growing up, I dreamed of being a Princess. It’s cute when you’re a kid, but not when you’re a grown woman. Yet, my princess mentality stayed with me — after graduating from college, marriage, and even after becoming a mom. Just because you age in years doesn’t necessarily mean you mature.

Learning to be the Queen of my life has been hard work. I’ve had to let go of reactivity and victimhood. It must stay on alert for  my “princess energy” and see how it was holds me back.

Even now, I can go into being a princess in a moment — that part of me that complains, whines, wants everyone to like me, needs permission.  Regardless of what women portray on social media or elsewhere, I think there’s an inner princess in all of us. However,  I know that if I stay in this place, I will create so much drama and chaos in my life that I make the Kardashians seem amateur.

So, I take off the tiara and put on the crown, over and over again.

Do you know which you embody — Queen or Princess? (tweet it)

Let’s take a look at the difference.

Princess Energy

Save me. The damsel in distress wants Prince Charming to come along and sweep her off her feet feet. She wants to be rescued — from her finances, health, career, the world.

Grant me permission. The Princess needs permission before she does what she wants. And, if she doesn’t get it, she usually just sits around and blames others.

Validate me. Nothing makes a Princess smile more than others telling her how amazing she is. She needs her husband to tell her that she’s beautiful, her family to put her on a pedestal and her friends to celebrate her every move. She gets giddy from external validation; her world turns dark without it.

It’s all about me. She’s not concerned with how events affect others. For a princess, the world revolves around her.

There’s Not Enough. The Princess lives with a fear of her well running dry. She sees life through competition and comparison. Is she prettier/more successful/smarter/better than me is how she ranks herself among a scarce world.

Lacks Appreciation and Gratitude.  The Princess can appear spoiled, because she tends to focus on what she doesn’t have versus all that she’s been blessed with.

I don’t want to look bad.  Because the Princess adores to be adored, she will avoid (at all costs) looking bad.  This holds her back on so many levels.  She doesn’t take risks.  She avoids any situation that could expand her growth but might involve failure.

Queen Energy

I’m the Creator of my Experience. Queen energy proclaims that you are in charge of your life, and that your main role is to master yourself and create a kingdom that you’re proud of.

I know who I am. Unlike the Princess, who’s always looking outside of her, the Queen looks within and knows who she is and what she values. These are the building blocks to her world.

How may I help? The Queen understands that a life built on service and offering value is the key to a well-lived life. And, because she doesn’t live in lack, she’s not catty or competitive. She wants to see all thrive.

I don’t need your permission. A Queen doesn’t ask others if it’s okay. She doesn’t wait for the green light. She grants herself the permission to do what she wants.

Elegance. A Queen knows that true elegance starts from within. It’s not about her wardrobe or her heritage; it’s about how she feels internally. And, that feeling radiates as powerful and humble.

I’m not always available.  A Queen manages her energy wisely.  And, while she loves others, she knows she needs her own space and cannot be everything to everyone.

I’m blessed and I want to create more.  The Queen adores her life and all that she has, but she also loves the act of creating.  She has desires, and she’s not ashamed of them.  She doesn’t desire more to feel a hole; she desires more because she knows she’s powerful enough to create it.

Failure is part of the process.  A Queen knows that creating a beautiful life requires risks and failure.  However, because she doesn’t let that fear stop her, she reaps beautiful rewards.  Plus, she doesn’t see it as a failure until she stops trying, and a Queen never stops trying.

I don’t need you to like me.  Throughout history, Queens have been subjected to ridicule because of their beliefs (good or bad).   When you stand for something, not everyone will agree.  And, that’s okay if you’re a Queen.

So, which are you?  I bet, if you’re like me, you have both energies.  The question then becomes:  which is leading your life?

Give that inner princess a hug, but let her know she’s no longer running the show.

A Queen also commits to more love, less fear.  The result?  Life loves her back.


Tons of Love,


Design Your Most Extraordinary Life

Then, start living it