The Beauty of Tears

Over the past week, I’ve been living graciously. But, it hasn’t looked the way you’d probably suspect. In fact, it’s felt quite messy beautiful. I’ve cried for three days straight: Puffy eyes.  Stuffy nose.  Mascara running down my face. Not a pretty sight. Like clockwork, I expect this emotional breakthrough once a month, and it’s always around that time. (Ladies, you know what I mean.) During that time, things feel more intense and magnified, and it’s like my heart opens up and tries to take on the whole-wide-world at one time.

The smallest little thing will induce a flood of tears – seeing something beauty, receiving love, an inspirational video.  And, life’s challenges feel bigger than they really are.

Fortunately, I know myself well enough to understand that this is part of my unique feminine rhythm. It, too, will pass (and come again).

But, I’ve learned to embrace the tears, just like I cherish the laughter.  I believe it’s one of the secrets to French Kissing Life.  

I will never forget watching a very chic Parisian woman sobbing in the Luxembourg gardens.

Sitting on a bench, surrounded by beautiful flowers, she let her raw emotions spill out and flow down her cheeks to hit her silk blouse and let the world bear witness.

The French pride themselves on their self-expression and don’t constantly pursue happiness, giving them permission to fully experience life in that moment.  That’s joie de vivre!  

In essence, if she needs something and has exhausted all of her options, she will resort to shedding a tear– or many. In turn, men will gather around the sobbing woman to offer help.

Believe me, I am not suggesting you manipulate others through false tears, but I am saying that there is power in vulnerability and emotion.

In fact, today, during a leisurely 3 hour lunch with girlfriends, the tears started to flow (again).  Our poor waiter started scurrying to bring a linen napkin to the table.  God forbid, a tear fall into my leek and watercress soup.

I smiled (through the tears) and said, “You are such a sweetheart. Thank you.”  Next thing I know, we’re sharing a pistachio and honey goat cheese cheesecake on the house.

I know we’re taught to put on our big girl panties, toughen up and put on a happy face.

But, if I’ve learned anything, it’s this: A woman who doesn’t cry has hardened her beautiful heart. (tweet it)

Society teaches us to remain strong, stop crying, and wear a smile 24 hours a day, seven days a week. “Pull yourself up by the bootstraps,” they say.

People are posting their “perfect lives” on Facebook, and no one dare tells the truth when they are asked the simple question, “How are you?”  Everyone always seems to be fine or great!

When was the last time you told the truth to this question?

I laughed out loud at lunch today when the waiter bravely asked our table if we were having a good day and my lovely (and very honest friend) said, “No!  What about you?”

Denying how you feel is not the pathway to freedom.  Before you move on, you must acknowledge where you are (and the stories that go along with it).   And, oftentimes, unless you’re living in a constant state of tears, you don’t even need to dissect every thought in your head.  You just need a good cry.

Emotions come and go, but who you are deep down is solid.  Don’t you ever forget that!

Crying should be a part of every woman’s beauty plan. It’s cleansing, releasing and part of your feminine essence.

It doesn’t mean that you’re neurotic or weak. It means that you’re strong and secure enough with who you are and you allow to feel what you’re feeling.

It also doesn’t mean that you have to stop living.  This week, I wrote more than ever, started planning a new project, and had a dance off in my living room.  Not to mention all the beautiful, ordinary things of my day.  And, I wore my lipstick through it all!

I just did it with tears.

Tears are simple, honest and soften the heart.

I invite you– brave, strong, and graceful woman– to acknowledge that tears are a beautiful part of being human, especially embracing your feminine essence.

A woman who fully French Kisses Life can say at the end,  I laughed all of my laughter and cried all of my tears! 

With a Tender Heart,

Tonya

P.S.  Please add your thoughts below – I’d love to connect with you about this feminine topic!