You only live once. But, if you do it right, once is enough.
If the French have taught me anything,it’s to embrace a life of fun and pleasure. Like many women, I grew up conditioned to believe that fun was forbidden, wrong and downright dangerous. Looking back, the years I struggled most were the years that my life lack this necessary ingredient. Without fun, your soul’s light dampens, because fun is food for the soul. <tweet it> One day, while visiting a friend in the South of France, I asked him what the secret to living a happy life was. His response was simple: amuse-toi! Or, have fun! Suddenly, I had permission to lighten up and enjoy life!
I followed his advice, and made it my new life mantra: Amuse-toi! It hasn’t led me astray. My action steps are determined by it; my business plan is based around it; vacations are chosen through it; meals are enjoyed because of it; and friends are carefully selected as part of it.
But, let me be clear: Fun comes in many forms. While it could look like a non-stop party leading to a morning that begins on the dance floor laughing and moving to the music with close friends, it is most often found in joy and simply loving life. It is celebrating a job well-done and hanging out with your kids.
Fun can also be spending a night in silence, or totally absorbed in rich conversation, with your partner or your best friend. It can also be celebrating who you are and spending a day alone, enjoying your solitude and personal company.
With the right perspective, almost anything can be an excellent source of a very good time. Really, it is what you define it to be. Ask yourself, what does having a great time look like? When are you having the most fun in life?
However, many women lead lives that lack this fantastic element and don’t leave space to enjoy each moment with a smile and add some laughter into every day. To allow for more fun, it comes down to three needs that need to be accepted and released in order to let fun seep in:
First, the need to please. Many women are limited by this feeling, thinking it is expected of them. But, darling, the only person you need to please really is yourself. This is anything but selfish because if you allow your life the freedom to have fun, this will translate to other aspects of your life that may depend on your energy and love.Naturally, this gift of giving to yourself will make you a better mother, wife, lover, and friend. A person having fun is a person others want to surround themselves with. Because you will feel happier, you will feel more generous and kind towards others. This is more pleasing to others than forced effort.
Secondly, the fear of what others will think. Something I have learned is that others are often jealous of those who have a natural light and glow shining through them. The best way to exude this light is through a smile and laughter. Don’t pass up opportunities or the chance to have fun in life because you worry about what others will think about you. And when it comes down to it, why care? You will be the one having fun and enjoying life. Be an example of positivity. Laughter and smiles are contagious, but so are frowns and negative energy.
Thirdly, insecurity. If you feel insecure, you often tuck yourself in so tightly that no one will notice or see you. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Open yourself up to the world and it will gladly give itself back.
A fun-filled life is one that embraces each and every experience which entertains and captivates your mind, body and soul. Really, when you are fully enriched in a great time, each part is involved. There is always fun to have, even in your work or business as long as you are enjoying it.
I have spoken to so many women who own businesses and describe their lives of loneliness because of their long hours, overwhelming amount of hours put into work each day, and how much they have either forgotten and/or have no time for fun.
I could be one of these women: I work extremely hard, every day. But, I made a commitment to myself and company to have fun. Honestly, if you were to see or hear me in a typical work day, you would think that I was on vacation. I choose to constantly surround myself with positive music, lots of laughter, dance and meditation breaks, strong people I can collaborate and brainstorm with, and delicious meals to fuel my body. At its core, my business plan is amuse-toi based. My team knows that if it is not fun, we won’t do it.
In fact, I created the School of Self-Image because I saw that personal and business development lacked fun and pleasure. Fun is the foundation of Society. There are no stuffy boardrooms, no dull meals, no lackluster conversations, or three-ring binders. There is laughter, inspiration, luxurious dinners, and hands-on work with incredible women. Above that, there are also massages, private chefs, meals spent gazing along the French Riviera, and so many other great ways to plan our dreams, celebrate our femininity and create our action plans.
We all are– or could and should be– great lovers of life, and fun is a necessary ingredient. And, yes, we work throughout this lavish experience and develop techniques to expand our lives and businesses.
When we leave our joyous time together, we are energized, inspired, and ready to take the next action steps towards stronger businesses, greater levels of abundance, success, adventure, and love. This, all thanks to fun!
When I coach my clients, I always ask how they envision themselves having fun while embracing their next life goal. If we are not having fun and enjoying our work, the motivation lacks. However, when we embrace life with joy and confront every obstacle and task in that light, it is astonishing how much can be accomplished. This is true in every area of our multi-dimensional lives: work, play, romance, health, fitness, and family.
What I live and teach is that it’s up to you to have fun, to open up and laugh, dance because you want to and leave behind any doubts or insecurities that would have you focus more on what others think than how you feel. Live the life that YOU desire, not what others do. Give yourself permission to follow a life of fun – one that will lead to an amazing adventure so that 30 years from now, you will have beautiful and wild stories to remember and retell.
Don’t wait: Now is exactly the time to start following the fun.
Tell me in the comments below what your next fun action step will be.
Dancing along with you,
Self-Image Makeover
Live Your Life With Style, Flare, and Elegance
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Its funny ...I always thougt that American women have more fun than French women !.
"Amuse-toi!" I LOVE it! The biggest thing to overcome is that not everyone is receptive to smiles and laughter, and to do it anyway. If you draw one, and turn away ten, the one drawn is the keeper after all.
My next action step is to set up a group of women who just want a little sabbatical a couple of times a month to go to a coffee shop or vineyard for a chatty fun time. It is time to find my tribe!
Thank you so much, Tonya! You are amazing!
I'm going to have great fun Feb 1st when my friend and I skydive tandem from a plane. Scarey, but FUN!!!
My next fun step will be to pour myself a glass of Moscato, enjoy the softness of my Victoria's Secrets pajamas and close my eyes and thank God for the beauty around me!