Knowing better now changes everything about how I live my life and the results I create today.
There was a time when I thought that my past mistakes defined me.
Likewise, I believed that I wasn't enough. Not thin enough. Not worldly enough. Not successful enough. Not a good enough mom, wife, daughter, emergency care nurse …
In fact, many beliefs shaped my world that didn't serve me well.
Thank goodness, I know better now.
When we look back at the past, knowing what we know now, we often find it difficult to understand how we made some of our mistakes or held on to some of the damaging beliefs that influenced our mindset and behaviors.
It's essential to remember that mistakes we made in the past don't define us but rather serve as a guide for growth and transformation.
Our past can read like a rulebook on what not to do, but we have the present and future to create what we want.
Many of us had beliefs and behaviors back then that we would never have now. That's because as we grow and learn more about ourselves, our self-image evolves, and we make different choices today.
Once we grow our self-image, it's almost impossible to reenter the headspace we were in before.
Knowing better now allow us to create rather than fix ourselves
Today I know I'm not broken. That wasn't always true for me.
If you had looked at my bookshelves way back then, you'd have seen books like "How to Lose Weight Fast" or "12 Rules For Life" or "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself." The books on my shelf said loud and clear that I was looking for ways to fix all the things that I thought were wrong with me.
Of course, that thinking only reinforced the negative beliefs that I held so deeply about myself.
I remember when I finally understood that the more I tried to fix myself, the more broken I felt. That trying to fix myself was only keeping me stuck and sometimes even digging me in deeper.
When you finally get it that you're not broken – when you grow into radical self-acceptance and love – that's when you'll be able to start feeling light, joyful, and creative.
That's when you'll be able to start creating the life that you want.
When you're constantly trying to fix what's "wrong" with you, you continually reinforce the belief that you're not good enough. If you believe that you're not good enough, it will be impossible for you to create what you want. As I always say: you can only create as far as the edges that your self-image will allow.
If your self-image is telling you that you're broken and need to be fixed, then you'll notice that you keep recreating the same issues.
You may find yourself saying things like, "I'm stuck. I'm confused. I'll never be able to …" And here's a big telltale sign: You keep procrastinating. You keep waiting and wondering. You keep taking two steps forward, only to take three back.
"When" and "if" statements are the norm in your brain. Things like:
- When I lose 30 lbs
- When I write my book
- If I had more money
- If I could only find the right person
- If I could just …
- When the kids are grow
When you know that you are perfect and wonderful just as you are in the moment – that's when you can start to create.
Self-creation can only ever come from a place of self-acceptance.
And, my friends, creating yourself is an entirely different thing energetically than fixing what you think is wrong.
I can best describe it as using everything about yourself as a canvas. Your flaws and imperfections, as well as your strengths, gifts, assets, and virtues, all come together as one pristine canvas on which you can create the woman you wish to be and the life you want to live.
Let Go of The Past, Be in the Moment, and Create Your Perfect Future
We serve ourselves most effectively by not dwelling on past mistakes or mistruths about who we are but instead reigning our energy and self-knowledge into present thoughts, feelings, and actions that serve us.
It is here – at this moment – that we create our reality and define ourselves.
In knowing better now, we can identify and affirm the woman we are today, thereby allowing her (and her entire life) to manifest.
- I am a woman who shows up for others
- So, I am surrounded by loving friends and family.
- I am a woman who takes care of herself
- Therefore I am fit and feel healthy.
- I am a woman who gets things done.
- So my business is a success.
- I am a woman who is lovable and worthy.
- As a result, I have a loving partner in my life.
- I am a woman who has healthy boundaries.
- Because of that, I respect myself, and others respect me too.
Creating your life is about making intentional choices every single day.
Suppose I affirm that I am a woman who takes care of herself. In that case, I prove that by (among other things) journaling, meditating, eating healthy, avoiding excessive alcohol consumption, and moving my body by hitting the gym, hiking, or doing yoga every day.
It's about seeing yourself as the woman you want to be, not the woman you thought you were when old thinking got in the way.
Women often get stuck thinking about what went wrong in the past or what may go off-track in the future.
Mindfulness – and thinking from the perspective of our future selves – is so essential to creating the life that we want.
There's an old saying that goes, "If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got." In other words, you must change those habitual, negative thoughts, self-talk, reactions, and actions to get better results today.
Knowing better now allows you to do just that.
Live Your Life With Style, Flare, and Elegance
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