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 I don’t reckon misery loves any damn thing at all.
People say that they desire to be happy, but then they do everything to guarantee that they are not. I speak from experience on this one. I used to be one miserable chick — full of pessimism, doubt and frustration with this thing called life. Then, I learned something that changed my life, forever. Misery is a choice. So is Happiness. I get to choose, and so do you.
So, if your choice is misery, here are 23 ways that I have personally tested and proven. Â These darlings work like a charm:
- Decide that you can only be happy when other people behave differently. Do not (I repeat), do not feel good around others until they are acting in a way that satisfies you.
- Only do things when you think you’re ready, unicorns are flying around and angels are appearing. Wait for that feeling and those signs before you start anything.
- Surround yourself with anguished, dramatic and pessimistic people. Wallow in that energy as much as possible.  Have dinners with them, invite them to coffee and make sure that a day doesn’t go by until you’ve connected with at least a few of them.
- Live in sweatpants and t-shirts, seven days a week. Never dress up or take the time to look your best.  It’s a waste of time and money anyway.
- Never leave your house.  Except maybe to buy groceries, so you can do #6.
- Eat junk food (and lots of it).  It tastes so good, so bon appetit! Â
- Sit on the couch as much as possible and watch trash TV.  Drown your mind in mindless activity and keep your remote control by your side.
- Devour self-help books.  One a day is recommended.  DO NOT read a beautiful novel, spend time learning a new language or engaging in a new hobby. You must fix yourself first.
- Constantly focus on all that you think is wrong in your life.  Write it down in a journal for extra credit.  Your bank account, lack of love in your life, your weight…focus on it as much as possible.
- Create as much drama as possible — pick fights with others, sulk and pout, scream at the dinner table or anything that brings negative attention into your life.
- Worry about money 24-7.  It doesn’t matter if you are in a buttload of debt or have millions in the bank, you should worry.
- Live in clutter and chaos.  Never clean your house.  Do #7 and dream of a clean house instead.
- For chrissakes, don’t be grateful, because there are way too many things you don’t have that you need to focus on.
- Always, always be prepared for the worst – a tsunami, the death of a loved one, running out of money, the apocalypse.  Stay alert and ready.
- Wait until the perfect time. I know you haven’t ever experienced it yet, but I’m sure it’s right around the corner.
- Blame your parents, the Pope, the President, your past or anything.  Just blame. It’s not your fault.
- Think about your self as much as possible.  Examine your thoughts, pick apart your flaws and defects, figure out how you can fix yourself.  Whatever you do, don’t focus on a positive happening outside of yourself or how you might be able to add cheer to another person’s life. Focus on you at all times.
-  Find a person to reform.  It could be a partner, your child or the neighbor, but choose one that you want to fix and don’t give up until that person is exactly the way you want them to be.
-  Don’t be adventurous. Travel is dangerous.  You might get hurt.  It’s just not a good time.  Do #8 or #15 instead.
-  Make everything about you. The reason your spouse is grumpy, the boss is an ass, your friend hasn’t called you back…it had to be something you did.
-  Compare and be jealous.  They are taking something from you.  Of course, you should feel deep envy.
- Do NOT slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures.  Life is a race and you are probably behind so go, and go fast, and whatever you do, don’t STOP!
And, saving the best for last . . .
   23.  Be mean to yourself.  Self-love is out of the question.  There is no room for that kind of airy-fairy non-sense. You need to beat yourself up to get the results you want in life.
Or . . . you can just choose to be happy!
It’s always a choice.
And, I’m sure I missed a way or two to be miserable.
Care to add to the list?  Let’s have some fun in the comments below.
Choosing Joy,
Tonya
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Oh, Tonya, I have been guilty of all of the above in the past! I'm in a much better place now, but there is still room for improvement. Thank you for the inspiration!
Tracy, I think most people have! AGain, these were the way I did it. You are incredible, AND I find it exciting to expand our beings even more!
xoxo
I am much better than I used to be, but definitely am guilty of some of these at times. I am thinking it may be a good list to print out and refer to occasionally as a reminder!
Melodee, reminders are always a good idea ;).
xoxo,
T
Fantastic article -- a good reminder to me on this day. Thank you Tonya!
You are SO welcome Catherine :).
Tonya, thank you so much for this and for sharing your message with us every day. One means well, but after a while we tend to get back to our old habits (personally speaking). I really needed to hear this today! 🙂
Diane, that's why I do what I do....to create a space and reminders to keep us all focused on living beautifully!
xoxo,
T
That one falls under #23, for sure!
Here's #24: starve yourself all day ( so you'll look "perfect" in front of others, naturally) and then eat pizza and ice cream in the dark because that makes for a healthy relationship with your body.
Great list, Tonya! I'll be putting this in my "french Kiss Life" notebook to keep me honest.
Lynne Marie...girl, how could I forget THAT one? That used to be my way life life.
xoxo,
T
I agree!! Great list!I have also been guilty of some of this.
Brennon, I think we all have ;).
This really made me laugh. I too have done many of these things. Just listening to the list had me cringing at all the things people (myself included) actually do to get in their own way! I'm on a new path now... self-love is so much nicer. I am really looking forward to your upcoming Slim,Chic and Savvy program to continue building the new roads of my life!
Barbara, we're starting in 6 days!!!
I cannot wait.
xoxo,
T
I am choosing to be happy & Chic!! This is going to be an eye opening & heart opening friendship infused 10 weeks!!! I am now putting the Doritzo bag down!!!
Thanks Tonya!!!
xoxoxo, Marianne
You are SO welcome. I'm thrilled to be supporting you!
xoxo,
T
Tonya I never leave posts...but this is Brilliant! I had a good laugh with myself. Thank you.
Well, thank you for leaving this comment. Honored. xoxo
Whew! Tonya, This article outlined several items of things I have done...eeek! As I write this reply, I just turned off CNN.....and turned on my music to finish my day. It's too easy to slip back into old routines. Looking forward to making the next 10weeks my top priority!
Mary, we all can mindlessly fall into these patters!
It's being aware enough to get out.
xoxo
Brilliant post! 🙂 It's both cheeky and straight up at the same time! Love it!
Thank you Bethann!
I laughed so hard my stomach hurt! Hilarious, and what a great way to make a point-freakin funny. I'm forwarding this one on to a few people I know for sure,haha!
Thanks, that was great, Tonya!
Thanks Karen for sharing the love!
Tonya, I had to laugh....(and then cringe)...The photo at the top of the poor drippy girl made me realize I fall into this awful attitude during winter (and frankly indulge it way too much). Most of the time, I feel fairly 'pulled together', but oh my, I'm more than ready to turn my thinking around! Soo looking forward to this!
Cheers & blessings,
Roxanne
Roxanne,
So excited to be supporting you.
T
LOVE! Love this post. Love you and your work Tonya Leigh.
Thank you
Aawww....thank you Kylie. Right back atcha ;).
I thought of another way to be miserable! Get to work early every day! Especially if you're on salary! Your boss won't notice because he/she probably won't be there. Enjoy the fact that your co-workers will think you are sucking up. Best of all, it will look like you aren't capable of getting your work done in an eight hour day! Tadaaaah!!
Great one Donna! And, throw in, "Don't take a lunch."
xoxo
You are brilliant! And so funny. xo, N.
I saw #22 on a store window. It said, Life is like riding a bicycle, the faster you go the easier it is to keep your balance and whatever you do, don’t STOP! Haha!
I thought of another...go on social media constantly and compare yourself and your life to those of the people you're connected to. A good reason why I take extended breaks from my personal Facebook feed from time to time.
Love your site!