Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
Worry. When you look at this word, what comes to mind? For me, it is one of the ugliest in our vocabulary. Truly, it is an epidemic. Worry is a thief, stealing your peace of mind and calm … so far removed from luxury and elegance. But, I get it. And in the past, I was a worry ho, selling my soul to a life of overwhelm, anguish and discontent.
Here’s a great example of my worried days: many years ago, sitting in a beautiful restaurant in the South of France with great friends and divine conversation, I began to worry…
Will I get to enjoy this moment ever again?
Is my daughter okay? Is she happy? Where is she?
Will the plane crash?
How much is this dinner going to cost me?
I was hijacking an incredibly memorable evening with worry. It had consumed me. But, this had become my mode of operating in the world. I knew how to worry with the best of them.
The sad part about worry is this: worrying about the future steals the beauty of the present moment (tweet it).
Yet, I was so familiar with the feeling that to be free of worry felt strange. It was my MO.
If I didn’t worry, what would happen? Would my world collapse? Would I die? Could I breathe? What would be left undone?
Drastic. Yes. But my poor brain was overloaded with this emotion.
And it didn’t end with my thoughts alone. I surrounded myself with worry warts. And, together, we were spiraling into a dark abyss filled with sleepless nights, distractions, and anxiety.
I was living in the past and the future. Rarely in the present.
When my heart had decided it had enough and the constant knot in my stomach reached its maximum point of contraction, I knew something had to change.
Consciously– not easily– I decided to let it go. Through this process, my friends joke that I’m a fairy. It’s amazing the lightness and energy you can bring to the world when you choose to live in the present moment.
Through this process, I’ve learned how to support women in turning worry into a beautiful state of wonder, opening them up to possibility and the glorious magic of the Universe.
So, let’s start with the basics:
Worrying is a choice. It is a decision. And when that finally made sense to me, I felt empowered to begin a new practice: living in the present, letting the past be in the past, and be open to what the future held for me.
Because, when you live in the present, worry doesn’t exist.
Let’s break this down:
Are you worried about not having enough money?
You have enough in this moment. Be grateful.
Are you worried about losing your job?
You have one right now. Be grateful.
Are you worried about not finding “the one”?
You are okay without him right now. Be grateful.
Are you worried about not finding a job?
You are okay without having one right now. Be grateful.
I understand it’s not easy, especially if this has become your MO.
So, let me offer you some suggestions.
What I will offer you has allowed me to leave a world filled with worry and step into one that is so much lighter and brighter.
:: Find the worst case scenario.
I love this exercise. It has liberated me from many of my old worries.
Here’s how it works: If I feel anxious over money, I imagine myself losing it all. What would that look like?
Then, I realized that I’m a pretty smart cookie and could at least get a job at the local coffee shop. With that, I could invest in a cute little RV and park it by a majestic river, constantly surrounded by the sounds of natural beauty, read books and write.
Living simply, I would have a lot less to worry about. Well… that’s not so bad.
So… worry? Poof! Be gone!
:: Worrying is praying for what you don’t want.
Understanding this has helped me shift my worry into something that feels a lot better. Like playing with my dog, going on a beautiful walk, calling up a friend and having inspiring conversations.
Constantly, I want to send out loving prayers to the Universe that I want to be answered, not those that I don’t
Yes, the G word again. But it works.
Try it. Do it now.
When you’re in a state of gratitude, there is no space for fear.
Our lives become filled with so much stuff in the hope that it will quiet our worried minds.
But, in fact, this “stuff” only leaves our worry in a much heightened place. I choose to live in a simple and peaceful life, even if that means that I’m not surrounded by so much materialism.
:: Do something.
What are you worried about? Can you do anything about it? If so, turn that worry into an action step.
With each action, you’ll find yourself feeling more empowered. Worry loathes an empowered woman.
:: Do nothing.
I’m a walking paradox, so bear with me. While taking action may be the answer, doing nothing may be even better. We are a culture that fills every moment with distractions, our to-do lists and anything to keep us from being with ourselves.
Sitting on a rock may be the best way to overcome worry. Because . . .
When you feel safe with yourself, you feel safe in the world
:: See the worry; don’t be it.
When you catch yourself in a worried moment, bear witness to it.
When you observe yourself, you create a separation from what’s real and what’s imagined. Over time, you’ll see that you are not your worried thoughts. You are so much more.
:: Plan and prepare sans the worry.
I remind myself constantly that I can do things without the overwhelming anxiety and worry that used to accompany my actions.
As Nike says, “Just do it”… without the worry.
:: Wonder instead of Worry.
When I find myself in a worried moment, I switch to a state of wonder.
I wonder where I’ll live when my daughter goes off to school.
I wonder how I’m going to live in Paris one day.
I wonder how my company is going to evolve.
I wonder how (fill in the blank).
Worry keeps you stuck. Wonder opens you up to possibility.
:: Take some deep breaths.
Next time you catch yourself worrying, notice how you’re breathing. I bet that your breath is constricted. And, when you’re constricting your breath, in a sense, your life force is also constricted.
Take some deep breaths to get you back into the moment and allow that beautiful energy to flow.
:: Trust in the Universe.
This is a toughie.
For those of us who have had experiences that have taught us not to do this, it’s especially hard.
But, look at you darling. You’re here. This beautiful adventure of life has brought you this far.
Do you think it happened because it wants to inflict pain on you? Or because it has something better to offer? I choose to believe the latter for the simple reason that it feels better to trust than doubt.
I choose to feel good every day.
And, that’s what I want for you, because I promise you that feeling good is never a bad thing. In fact, it’s delicious! And, worry and feeling good don’t co-exist.
Before I leave, let me add: I believe one of our greatest regrets will be spending most of our time worrying about our lives instead of indulging in every moment. Together, let’s set the intention to release the worry and swim in the beautiful mystery of life.
What’s your best worry 9-1-1 advice? Please share in the comments below.
With a light heart,Tonya
This is YOUR Time To Transform Your Self Image
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