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We think about it often. I should have totally given him my number. It would have been so much better if I had eaten before going to that party. I should have finished college and gotten that degree. If I had been more responsible saving money I could have bought that purse. I can’t believe that I let my daughter do that. Am I that stupid?

People love to bring it up.

“Remember when you wore those ridiculous high heels?”
“It was so shitty of you to have said that to her.”
“Do you remember that time when you tried to start that business and it failed?”
“He was such a good guy. Why did you leave him?”
“Do you remember that time you gained so much weight?”

Just the other day, someone said to me,

“Tonya, I can’t believe you’ve been divorced twice.”

Now, I’ll admit:

At one point in my life, someone bringing this up from my past this would have bothered me tremendously.

But I’m not that person any longer.

Do you know what I find interesting about discussions about the past?

When we talk about our pasts, it’s often negative.

We don’t highlight our celebrations and wins.

We love to hone in on the things that we think we didn’t do so well.

If I didn’t’ know any better, I’d think we love to keep ourselves stuck and miserable.

But, I do know better.

Past thinking is a habit. And, it’s not one that serves you.

The past only exists in your mind. It’s over except that we seem to have it on repeat in our heads. If you’d stop pressing the “repeat” button, it would be over.

As the French say, “C’est fini!”

What happened 10 years ago, 10 months ago, 10 days ago, and even 10 seconds ago….
… it is history.

If you want to create a new future,
you MUST stop hanging out in the past.
{tweet this}

It is impossible to move forward AND stay stuck in the past.

You get to choose.

To drastically change your life, start talking about the here and now and where you’re going.

  • Strike up convos about your dreams, not your past failures.
  • Read books that excite you, not ones that remind you of who you were in the past.
  • Think new thoughts and stop reciting old ones.
  • Start nurturing your future and stop fondling your past.

You can bring up my past, but I don’t live there anymore.

I moved out of that hood a long time ago.

If you want to bring up my past, it will be a boring convo because today you’ll find me talking about where I am and where I’m going.

So, if you bring up my past, you’ll most likely hear me say:

So what? It’s done.

You can keep talking about it.

But I’ve sauntered on!

Everything changed for me when I stopped living with regret about my past and started to live in delight of my life right now and excitement for the future.

Oh, and before I finish this monologue about the past, here’s one last thing.

Just so you know …

In just the amount of time it took to write this,

I’ve already evolved.

And, so have you.

Let’s be the kind of women that don’t let our pasts define us.

Let’s be women who appreciate where we are and are inspired by a new future.

Let’s not use our past as an excuse for our lack of success.

Ladies, we are more creative than that! {click here to join us}

The only thing you need to know about your past is this:

It’s over.

Move on.

Please share in the comments below what books that excite you, new thoughts you want to explore, your dreams, and what you want to nurture in your future!

The Self-Image Manifesto

You’re Invited To Live An Extraordinary Life!