After over a decade of going to South Beach, being a Skinny Bitch and living in the Zone, I was exhausted. Done! But, I didn’t know what else to do. Truthfully, I was a diet ho, spending my days and nights pimping my body and soul out to the next miracle, the promise of a better body, the next booty slimming shake. Dieting was my drug! Yet, it wasn’t working. I couldn’t get slim enough, healthy enough, lean enough. Regardless of my weight, I was miserable. I was so outside of myself, I couldn’t see my own truth. In order to find my truth, I had to find my own way. That, I was not familiar with. That involved new skills, a new mindset and self trust. Foreign!
Enter Foreign Country
I arrived in Paris on a sunny April day. All my life, I had dreamed of visiting the city of lights, and now that I was there, I didn’t even notice the gleaming lights, ancient architecture or even the Eiffel tower. All that caught my attention were the slim, chic and savvy women that graced every street, cafe and store.
I was perplexed!
What did they know that I didn’t? How was it that they could look so fabulous while eating foie gras and sipping wine? How could they be so confident and self-possessed? What was this je ne sais quoi?
I didn’t know, but I my inner Frenchie whispered, “Bienvenue mon amie,” and I knew I had finally found a model that felt like love and play, not a daily hell.
So, I started reading about French culture, hired a French teacher, read about Coco Chanel and Voltaire. I studied those French women like they were lab rats. I went to sommelier school. I may not be French, but I was certainly trying!
And, my weight?
Don’t know, because I threw the scales away. But, over the course of months, my clothes were looser, my skin more radiant and I was happy! And, I wasn’t dieting!
That was a miracle.
But, my learning didn’t stop in Paris, because I didn’t live in Paris. I lived in the good ole’ US of A where fast food and fast living were the norm. So, I needed to understand the process of change, how to create a mindset of success, how to live like a Parisian in a very American world. So, I spent hours reading books on Eastern philosophy, studied cookbooks (not diet books) and became a Master coach. Every day became an experiment to finding my own joie de vivre.
Finally, I felt like I had cracked the code.
At the end of the day, there was only one word to describe my transformation:
The best diet in the world does not involve obsessive calorie counting, restriction, binging, surgery, pills or shakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It doesn’t involve hours in the gym or a “no pain, no gain” way of life. It simply involves love!
What is love?
It’s surrounding yourself with people who are full of inspiration and joy, not hurt. My friend, Sean Stephenson, says, “There is no hate in the world, just hurt.” I had surrounded myself with hurting and hurtful people, and I had to release them so that I could wrap myself in the cashmere blanket of l’amour.
Love is taking time to sit down and enjoy a delicious meal with family and friends without the constant “I shouldn’t” or “I’ll start tomorrow” mentality.
Love is waking up in the morning and putting on your finest and making the world your runway. For me, it’s heels and lipstick. Trust me, it makes you think twice before eating the bag of Cheetos in the car.
Love is walking away from the fridge and walking into your own divine altar to tap into something more powerful than you.
Love is moving your body to song and taking strolls around the neighborhood. It’s even running a marathon if the intention is love not punishment.
Love is play.
Love is walking with your shoulders high and your heart open.
Love is investing in a nice corset to hold your beautiful bosom.
Love is a glass of Champagne shared in celebration.
Love is allowing yourself to have insanely ecstatic sex!
Love is standing shoulder to shoulder with and celebrating the most beautiful woman in the room because you know that you are just as beautiful.
Love is getting rid of the clutter that is drowning your desires.
Love is embracing who you are–craziness and all.
The Ugly Truth about LOVE
Love ain’t easy. It takes patience, kindness and attention. It requires that you stop running life on auto-pilot and be intentional. It requires effort. Love is sometimes damn hard, because…
Love requires that you feel.
Love requires saying no.
Love requires saying yes.
Love begs for you to give to yourself.
Love demands that you take up for yourself.
Love takes time.
Love lives in a state of presence.
Love asks you to slow down and savor.
Love asks that you stop trying to fix yourself and celebrate instead.
Love loves improvement, not proving.
Love requires that you do things that scare you silly.
Love doesn’t care how many tasks you checked off for the day.
Love asks you to eat one piece of chocolate, not the whole package.
Love asks you to put on your finest even when you feel your worst.
Love is embracing your shame.
Love is…loving what is!
How to Live an Insanely Wild and Gorgeous Life
First, stop looking for plans, prescriptions or step-by-step approaches. Instead, start hunting out love.
Find a supportive community.
Put on something beautiful.
Play with people who inspire you.
Eat a piece of chocolate.
Dance the night away.
Burn a candle.
Chant “I am love” three times every hour.
Go to bed early.
Watch a sunrise.
Hire a babysitter and go on a hot date with your husband.
Swear off sweatpants for a week. Seriously!
Sit down for your meals.
Feel your feelings.
Discover a hobby and indulge often.
Throw a dinner party.
Give yourself a kiss every day!
Live Your Life With Style, Flare, and Elegance
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