tonya's diary

what i'm thinking about

I’m all for drama — the juicy kind like:

Love affairs and fashion risks and big, audacious plans…

On the other hand, the drama we create in our minds has got to go, especially the kind that comes from self-doubt.

In this edition of The Edit, we’re serving up something that will change your entire life:

How to make drama-free decisions

You could say my transformation over the past ten years has been ✨dramatic✨ in all the best ways.

One of my secrets for evolving my self-image is that I have trained my brain to make decisions without the drama –

Let me give you an example. In the last 30 minutes, I’ve made six decisions without the drama:

✈️ I decided which three flights I would take for upcoming business travel

? I also decided on three class topics for the School of Self-Image membership

My brain wanted to be confused and overwhelmed but I no longer allow either to be an option.

How? I make my choices based on the best information I have in that moment – and then I decide to like my decision.

In other words, I’ve got my own back.

I don’t mind making mistakes.
I know I can change my mind later if I want to.
I trust that if something comes up, I can handle it.

After all, the decision is never the problem. It’s the drama your mind creates after the decision. (You know what I’m talkin’ about.)

You just need to make the decision and then decide to align your energy behind your decision. << That’s when the ✨magic✨ happens.

What decision are you procrastinating on? Let’s decide and keep moving.


The Thought Edit

A New Thought to Restyle Your Mind

Anything you want in life is just one decision away.

This week’s podcast is called The Power of Big Decisions. In this podcast, I share:

  • Some of the biggest decisions I’ve made in my life that have dramatically changed the way I see myself (leaving boyfriends, claiming penthouses, and even some big money-drama)
  • How to reframe the way you think about decisions so you can make them without the drama
  • The most important question to ask yourself when you’re making decisions that will lead you to an extraordinary life

Listen to this podcast to learn how to get anything you want by making big decisions.


Ideas for Elevating from Our Members

Starting Over
with Brinda Desai

“I’ve been a fitness trainer for 23 years, and I recently decided to call it quits and move on to bigger and better things. I have so much experience that would benefit women, and I want to share that in a new way. While I have no idea what that will look like, I know I’ll find my way.

Learning how thoughts control your feelings from Tonya has made me feel confident to make these big changes I’ve been wanting to make for a while. Being a Diamond Member in School of Self-Image also makes a big difference because you have all these women behind you, and it’s great to support. It’s quite inspiring.”

A Taste of Style

Making the Everyday Extraordinary

Decide to Delight Your Soul

Is your social media full of drama or delight?

I’ve been working on curating my social media feed to be full of people, places, and things that delight my soul.

One of the women who has earned a spot in my feed is Lydia Millen. I’ve watched her journey unfold for years in the world of fashion and style. Now, she’s adding her home decor into the mix.

Follow her for a weekly dose of elegance, simplicity, and sophistication.


Habits for Creating the Impossible

This week’s Haute Habit is curating your wardrobe from your future self.

Style is one of my greatest personal development tools. Practice the power of making decisions this week by choosing a few items to remove from your wardrobe.

Here’s how to make the decision:

Sit down and visualize your future self — that version of you who is living out your perfect day and reaching her goals.

Really feel into her. See her. Be her for a moment.

Then, go into your closet and ask yourself:

Would she wear this?

If not, it needs to go. If an item doesn’t belong in your future, it doesn’t belong in your present.

*If you’re a member of the School of Self-Image, you have access to an incredible class called How to Declutter Your Closet.

Simply go to Collections > Style Classes > How to Declutter Your Closet.

Not yet a member of the School of Self-Image? Well, what in the world?

The School of Self-Image is full of thousands of incredible women like you who are learning to elevate their self-image and create extraordinary lives. We’ll be opening the doors soon, so be sure to get on the VIP waitlist for special bonuses when we open.

In the Bag

Tools for REinvention

A Riddle for Reinvention: What type of bag can add a little drama to every woman’s summer wardrobe but also works perfectly for the fall weather in Scottsdale? (Think: SOSI Desert Live!)

Ready for the answer?

A raffia bag, of course! Raffia is a beautiful natural material made from the Raffia Palm, which is local to areas like South East Asia, South and Central America, and Madagascar.

I purchased this one for the summer, and people are literally stopping me on the streets to inquire. (I told them they’d have to sign up for The Edit to find out because I save that information for you!)

The Toast

Your Invitation to Connect & Celebrate

Special Invitation to Define Your Style & Celebrate with Your Sisters from Around the World

If you’re in the School of Self-Image, you know how much I believe style matters. Style is magnetic. It’s how you communicate who you are with the world.

So of course, I designed a luxury retreat all about style. This 2.5 day event will revolutionize all the aspects of your personal style - from your mindset to your wardrobe to your entire life.

If you’re ready for a personal style revolution, join us for a luxe retreat weekend in Scottsdale, AZ November 3-5, 2022.

Important note:
 This is the first time we are opening registration to women who are not yet a member of the School of Self-Image, and tickets will sell out fast.

If you’ve wanted to attend this event, don’t wait any longer. This could be your last chance before tickets are gone!

Cheers to your extraordinary life,

P.S. Quite often, The Edit will include surprises, special offers, and access to exclusive invites, and our ladies are quick to scoop these up. Set The Edit to go to your Primary Inbox, so you’re never late to the party!

// TheEDIT

A weekly digital magazine by the School of Self-Image