For example, this one day, I stood in line at Dunkin Donuts and ordered…

A dozen donut holes

An apple fritter

And a glazed donut

I drove home with so much excitement – and at the same time, I was filled with self-loathing.

The cognitive cocktail of grotesque indulgence and subsequent remorse was intoxicating. I knew what I was about to do… what I had done so many times before…

Binge and then purge.

It was a very familiar pattern. Don’t you find that the familiar things are the hardest things to stop?

What’s the saying? Tired of being sick and tired?

That was me. So, I got to work.

Being fed up with yourself can be a beautiful catalyst for your self-image journey.

So tell me, Heather. What are you DONE with? When is enough going to be enough? When will you become truly FED UP?

Welcome to The Catalyst Issue of The Edit. May every obstacle, every challenge, and every hardship in your life become a catalyst for your victory.

Cheers,

P.S. We’ve done harder things before - and we can do this, too.

She wants to be FREE. She wants the rush of those negative (sometimes, harmful) indulgences that don’t serve you…

Think “overdoing” anything, like shopping, eating, staying up watching Netflix until 3am, etc.

But really, she’s afraid. She is afraid of missing out on LIFE. She’s afraid of being controlled. She’s afraid of her innocence being ripped away and letting the seriousness of life suck out all the joy. So she REBELS.

She’s worried the Wild Child is about to ruin your whole life. She’s worried all that sugar will rot your teeth - so she tries as hard as she can to take back control.

Unfortunately, my dear, neither of these characters - these parts of you - will lead you to an extraordinary life.

What does? Wisdom. It’s your Future Self. It’s your wisest, most compassionate self who loves you unconditionally -

But who also has high expectations and high standards. Your Future Self is sort of like a loving parent. She says things like,

“Sugar isn’t bad in moderation. Have one cookie. Enjoy. But we’re not having ten. Why? Because I love you and I care about your health.”

You could also imagine her like a Queen archetype. She is ruling her kingdom with wisdom, joy, and abundance - and she knows that a thriving kingdom requires healthy food, a balanced budget, and a reasonable bedtime.

To begin making headway with this, just start by noticing whether you’re acting from your Wild Child or your Dictator. Keep notes on when they show up. And if you’re willing, share some insights with me over on Instagram @tonyaleigh.

And if this concept of the Wild Child and the Dictator intrigues you (or you may recognize it from back in the day in my program Slim, Chic, and Savvy) –

Keep an eye out next month for the revival & reinvention of something very special I’m calling “The Slim Masterclass.”

Soulmate Goals

with Grace Alexander

“For the past 18 months, I have been building a business as a realtor in the Sacramento area. I invested hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars into coaching and mentorship, staging materials, and brokerage fees. Meanwhile, my peers were getting many more clients than I was, and I was barely making enough to survive.

So, one of the reasons I joined SOSI was to upgrade my self-image to that of a 6 figure real estate agent, which is why I set my Extraordinary Goal to sell 12 houses a year. However, there was still a sense of unease, and I resisted starting the Dream Atelier.

Listening to this month's call about our relationship to our extraordinary goal was an eye-opener. Tonya talked about being madly in love with our goal and the things we would be saying about it.

The conversation in my head was, "This is going to take too long. I don't think I have the patience for you." rather than the feeling "I am going to enjoy the process because this relationship means so much to me."

I've finally realized (or more so accepted - because I've known the truth deep down for a while) that at this point, my heart just isn't in real estate. I didn't want to quit for fear of being a failure, losing everything I had invested, and being a statistic, which is that 90% of Real Estate agents "fail" in the first 2 years.

So my new Extraordinary Goal?! My EG is to build a 6-figure remote business where I can have freedom of location. It is a coaching business built off my 10 years of aerial silks experience. Teaching is my gift, and movement arts are my passion. It is hard and scary to walk away after having invested so much time and intention and money into it but I must listen to my body, heart, and soul.

So here’s to having clarity for the vision, letting go of the things holding us back, and being madly in love with our Extraordinary Goals! I feel committed now in a way that I haven't before! I'm so excited to be one of Tonya's 5,000 After Stories.

An Outfit to Indulge Your Wild Child

While I wouldn’t suggest letting your Wild Child run your life, sometimes, you just need to indulge her, and there’s no better way than with a leopard outfit. I added this one to my collection right before my no-shopping challenge.