tonya's diary

what i'm thinking about

I’m in disbelief. What is happening right now?

I just wrapped up a photo shoot with David Yarrow.

(If you don’t know his work, look him up. I’m pinching myself right now.)

We took pictures in a saloon with a horse and cowboys. Then, we went to a gorgeous ranch with a Tom Ford set in the middle of nowhere.

It was one of the most magical days of my life. 

My best friend Brooke Castillo turned 50, and we were celebrating her. There were eight of us - eight gorgeous women.

Different backgrounds, different body types, and oh the personalities. 🙂

I love them all so much. One of the guys on set said the most beautiful thing, and it inspired this edition of The Edit.

He said, “I love how each of you is SO you. You’re not insecure. You’re all just owning the uniqueness of YOURSELF!”

(Our body language was saying volumes about our self-love.)

Y’all! Let’s talk about this.

How often do you look around and compare?

How often do you shrink because of a thought that boils down to, I’m not good enough.”?

Enough already. You are enough. You always have been, and you always will be.

Don’t let ONE thought strip you from enjoying life to the fullest.

Stand in the uniqueness of you because the moment you embrace your uniqueness …


This is The Body Language Issue.

Your body language tells the world what you believe about yourself – even if you don’t say a word.

Let’s make sure it says, “I’m incomparable.”

P.S. To create an extraordinary relationship with your body, be sure to listen to this week’s podcast:

How to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Body

The Thought Edit

A New Thought to Restyle Your Mind

“Over There” Will Not Be Better Than Here

I often hear ladies say they can’t wait to create a result (like a certain number on the scale) because then life will be so much better.

But “over there” can never be better than here – and here’s why.

You always take your brain with you wherever you go, and your thoughts are what create your feelings.

When I starved myself from a size 14 to a size 2, I found that I was still me, just in a smaller body. What happened to all my promises of confidence and excitement? I was still stressed out, deprived, and full of self-loathing.

This is not the way, my friend! You cannot create a life you love by:

  • Beating yourself up
  • Punishing yourself
  • Taking action you hate
  • Copying what worked for other people

The path of ease is found in changing the way you see yourself - and creating the woman you want to be by thinking her thoughts today.

You can love yourself now - including the beautiful body you currently have - as you create new things, not because there’s anything to fix - but because you want to see how spectacular you can be.


Ideas for Elevating from Our Members

Worth the Effort
with Alessia Tenebruso

“I used to try to hate myself thin. I thought that if I was mean enough to myself, something would change but it never did. I just felt worse, and my health declined.

The true transformation began when I learned self-love. I began working with Tonya in 2013, and I started feeling an extreme difference in how I thought about myself. I learned to be confident in my own skin and just wear the damn bathing suit already!

I started appreciating what my body could do for me, and I stopped being afraid to stand out. When I attended SOSI Beach Live, I told Tonya that while I loved myself, I didn’t plan to work on my weight anymore and wanted to switch my focus to growing my business but she saw through me and knew it was fear. She said, “If you don’t have your health, you won’t have anything. You need to take care of you.”

So I restructured my goals in School of Self-Image, and while I still plan to grow my business, my priority is now my health. I’m no longer looking at my health through a lens of deprivation. I’m setting myself up for a long, healthy life. I recently started working with a life fitness wellness coach and have lost over 40 pounds so far.

It feels like everything finally clicked. I no longer focus on what my health journey deprives me of like I’ve done in the past but rather I focus on all the incredible love I am showing myself and how I’m improving my quality of life.

Now my body language is matching how I feel on the inside through all the work I’ve done with Tonya. I decided to choose strength over comfort, and now it’s just naturally happening with self-love and health as my focus.

I’m so grateful to Tonya for showing me I’m worth the effort, and that I can do hard things.”

A Taste of Style

Making the Everyday Extraordinary

Dress for an Active Self-Image

Did you know that some experts say up to 93% of communication is non-verbal?

Your body language says it all, my friend, and style is a big part of that.

You know, style isn’t reserved for nights out on the town. It applies to how you show up in every part of your life, even exercise.

If you want to create an active self-image, you must dress the part, so today I’m sharing my favorite activewear brand: ALO.

When I’m wearing ALO, I can run errands or go for a run in the gym.

But, my style always says ONE thing: I’m a woman who’s going places.

Here are my top 3 favorite items:


Habits for Creating the Impossible

This week’s Haute Habit is upleveling the language you offer to your body.

Yes, I’m talking about how you speak to yourself.

Thank her for all the years she’s carried you through.
Thank her for being so strong.
Thank her for her huge heart.
Thank her for never giving up on you.
Thank her for your life.

Without her, you wouldn’t be here!

*Special note to my ladies inside School of Self-Image: Watch the Body Love class to become a well-groomed woman. I included all my favorite body love routines, including those for face, skin, smile, nails, and body.

In the Bag

Tools for REinvention

Taking exquisite care of your body is one of the quickest ways to elevate your self-image.

Each act of love you give to yourself creates evidence that you are a woman who respects and cares for herself.

One of my favorite ways to care for my body is by exfoliating my skin every time I shower. It’s been a game changer. My skin is smoother than ever.

Here is my favorite set of exfoliation gloves.

The Toast

Your Invitation to Connect & Celebrate

Make Every Workout a Celebration of Your Beautiful Body

Working out isn’t just about losing weight. Movement is life, and life is meant to be lived with friends.

Get together with friends for your workouts. Make them FUN! Celebrate your beautiful body with each fun new class, walk, or dance party.

And if your relationship with your body is anything less than extraordinary, be sure to check out this week’s podcast episode:

How to Have an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Body

To your body, Beautiful!

// TheEDIT

A weekly digital magazine by the School of Self-Image