Of all the romances I’ve had in my life, my love affair with anxiety has lasted the longest.
It may have started when, as a little girl, I was told that the Earth could be engulfed in flames at any moment - an event called “the rapture” that was professed by my childhood religion.
It sounds silly but this indoctrination resulted in my being constantly on the lookout - expecting something really bad to happen for no reason at all, and as a grown woman, I still feel anxiety often.
For you, it may be jealousy or embarrassment or boredom.
Whatever the feeling, this edition of The Edit was written to help you feel it, face it, and… maybe even flirt with it a little.
What if we romanced our emotions instead?
Let’s find out.
P.S. This is The Emerald Issue because emeralds represent truth - and do you know what emotions bring you? Truth. Knowing. You’re not a hot mess. You’re a gem. Let’s embrace your truth and make friends with emotion.
Romance Your Emotions, Instead of Resisting Them
Let’s start with this. You are strong enough to feel any emotion.
Ten years ago, I read a book that talked about getting to know your emotions - instead of being afraid of them. (Unfortunately, I can’t remember the title.)
It was then that I realized that I spent a lot of my time resisting my emotions.
I was afraid to feel them. I didn’t know what would happen to me if I did.
When I felt anxiety, I thought that meant that something had gone wrong, so I would deny it, avoid it, and try to get rid of it.
Reading this book, I realized, Emotions are just energy in my body. Nothing has gone wrong. I’m just a human being experiencing an energy called anxiety.
From this point forward, I started to romance my emotions - especially anxiety.
I got to know them.
I danced with them.
I even flirted with them, like, “Hey Anxiety, I see you lookin’ at me. Come over here and sit next to me. Let’s get intimate with each other. What have you come to show me?”
At the end of the day, emotions can’t harm you. They’re just energy – vibrations – in your body.
Abandon all hope of trying to get rid of them, and instead, just hold them. See them. Explore them. Let them flow. (I promise you won’t die. Instead, you’ll feel so much better.)
Practicing Ease
with Petra Wolken-Möhlmann
This week, I practiced the feeling of ease. To feel at ease I have to let go of anxiety, frustration, anger, stress, and haste.
Most of those feelings are work-related. Instead, I’ve practiced reminding myself of thoughts like:
I have successfully worked on my job for 28 years. There's no situation I cannot handle. I always come up with a solution. There is no need for haste. I take one step at a time.
I started listening to calming music. I love Diana Krall's album ''Quiet Nights.” There are great playlists out there for yoga, meditation, chill-out lounges, hotel bars, or beauty salons. They all create the feeling of ease I'm after. I have music on when I work at home, do my housework, ride in the car… whenever possible.
I'm making progress and feel much more relaxed! I remind myself to be grateful for what I own every day.
My garden is in full bloom. My roses have never been more beautiful! To me, they are the epitome of abundance. The more I practice, the more I am grateful for, like:
Charlotte, my cousin’s little daughter, who was born early - but healthy!
My 18-year-old nephew, who invited us to his first jazz concert
- Charlotte, my cousin’s little daughter, who was born early - but healthy!
- My 18-year-old nephew, who invited us to his first jazz concert
- Decluttering my cupboard under the stairs
- Cleaning windows and pulling weeds
- My new kitchen cabinets
- My landlord, who fixed my floors
- My newfound ability to wear dresses (I’ve decided to like my legs again!)
It looks like the good things are starting to accumulate!
Let's keep going, ladies! Sending love and roses from my garden!
A Chic Emerald Notebook for Your List and God’s List
Even if you don’t believe in a higher power (but especially if you do), knowing what is in your control and what is out of your control is an absolute blessing.
Whenever I’m really stressed and anxious, I write a T-list.
I make two columns:
1.) My List
2.) God’s List
On My List, I put everything I can control, like my behaviors, my habits, and my thoughts.
On God’s List, I put everything else I’m worried about.
Then I say something like “God (Universe/Creator/Spirit), please take over from here. I’ll take care of my list, and I ask that you please take care of yours.”
Try it. Sounds silly but it works wonders.
Here’s a gorgeous emerald notebook you can use to make your lists.
My Romance with Anxiety
When I think about what it means “to romance,” I think of “to court” or “to woo.” At its core, romancing your emotions is about getting to know them because, at the end of the day, they can’t harm you. They’re just vibrations in your body. If you’d like to stop resisting your emotions and start romancing them, listen in to hear all the juicy details about my lifelong romance with anxiety and how it’s helped me create my extraordinary life.
// TheEDIT
A weekly digital magazine by the School of Self-Image
IF YOU LIKE IT, SHARE IT
