As I write this letter to you, I’m triggered…

(Being “triggered” is when you experience a strong, negative emotional reaction to an event or circumstance.)

Why am I triggered? A friend said something that hit the wrong way.  This is the third time in a week. Right now, I’m not doing anything about it.

I’m just sitting with it because the most important thing about a trigger is:

It’s a chance to look at what’s going on within you.

When something happens and you feel a strong emotional reaction, there’s something inside that needs to be healed or addressed.

Sometimes, it’s a childhood wound.

Other times, it’s a boundary that’s been crossed one too many times.

It can even just be an energy that doesn’t sit right with you.

Whatever it is, triggers are a part of life.



Don’t run from them. Don’t make them mean something is wrong with you or the other person. Just be fascinated, curious, and determined to heal whatever is being exposed.

We are all so human, and while my goal is to be untriggered, it takes a lot of triggers to get there.

Welcome to The Healing Issue. I created it to help you feel a little bit less triggered.


“If it triggers me, it’s about me.”

The important thing to know is that the trigger response is not the same with all humans. What upsets me may not impact you in the least. So it’s important to be responsible for your own “triggers.”

A phrase that helps me is, “If it triggers me, it’s about me.” This reminds me to look within to find out why something impacted me, instead of getting stuck in blame, anger, or resentment.

Once I’ve resolved what’s going on within me, I can decide from a clear space whether or not to pursue a course of action with the source of the trigger.

Regal Boundaries
with Margaret AY Anc

“Before I joined Tonya’s program, I didn’t set any boundaries, and I had no Red Velvet Rope. I even struggled to understand the concept. I was such a people pleaser.

Then, I was an amateur boundary-setter. I set boundaries from an unhealthy place, with a resentful and angry heart. (It’s important to note that I feel no shame in this. I was learning and growing!)

I have learned that setting boundaries is NOT mean, selfish, unkind, unreasonable, or all the other things that those people who benefit from your people-pleasing would have you believe.

I’ve learned that when a woman sets and upholds boundaries that are important to her peace of mind and well-being, she is regal and even more kind, warm, and loving than ever before because she is loving herself first and has a greater capacity to hold others with love as a result.”

Protect Your Peace with Week of Calm

Want to join me for a free mini-retreat?

It’s all online.

In only one hour a day, I’m going to be sharing all of my tips and techniques for prioritizing your well-being, protecting your peace, and restoring your joy.

Right now, more than ever, we need to learn how to manage our minds and choose calm.

  • It’s about letting go of resistance and not fighting with what’s happening.
  • It’s about knowing where to focus, so you can be your most powerful.
  • It’s about finding self-love and grace, no matter what’s happening in the world.
  • It’s about deciding how you want to show up at any moment.

The first time I shared this event, it was at the beginning of 2020 when the world felt panicked and overwhelmed. At the time, it made a huge impact on my community, and lately, I’ve been feeling that it’s time again.

This is our only online event (at the time of publication) that is completely free to attend. Week of Calm is what the world needs right now, so I hope you’ll decide to join me. If I may say so, it will change your life. Read all the details and RSVP today.

Untriggered: How to Protect Your Peace in Any Situation

As I said at the beginning, it takes a lot of triggers to learn how to be “untriggered” but you know what? It’s worth practicing. Our emotional health is so important, and learning how to guard your sanity and heal from your past is the ultimate form of self-care.

// TheEDIT

A weekly digital magazine by the School of Self-Image