tonya's diary

what i'm thinking about

Ring ring. It’s time to have a conversation about your future.

Have I ever told you I grew up in a trailer park? Money was tight.

I remember my parents trying to scrape together enough money to keep the lights on.

And you better believe we wore our relatives’ hand-me-downs. (I dreamed of having the cool clothes other kids had.)

If you grew up with less, it’s common to feel scarcity –

However, when I think about the woman I want to be, my future self, she feels an overwhelming amount of abundance …

And that gives her space to breathe.

For her, there’s always more than enough.

Enough time. Enough love. Enough money.

Sometimes, it’s still tempting to think that I can only feel abundant when…

I have a certain amount of money.
My calendar is perfectly balanced.
Certain people are behaving a *certain* way.

But, I know a secret… and I want to share it with you.

I can feel abundant now. And the more I feel it, the more of it I attract.

Feel your future now, and that future will come running to you.

Welcome to your future.

This edition of The Edit is The Futurista Issue, and it’s all about becoming a woman who lives in her future – today.


The Thought Edit

A New Thought to Restyle Your Mind

Your Future’s Calling. Are you ready to have a conversation?

Does this sound familiar?

When I lose weight, I’ll feel confident.
When my business is making six figures, I’ll feel secure.
When I find my soulmate, I’ll feel love.

It’s how the majority of people think but here’s the truth,

Things outside of you don’t create your feelings.
Your feelings create what’s outside of you.

You can’t create something by feeling the lack of it.
You must feel as if you already have it.

You must be HER now.

So here’s a challenge. Imagine something you want.

What is the feeling that thing will give you? It should be one word, like peace, joy, freedom, or fun.

Now, close your eyes and focus your thoughts and attention on the feeling you chose.

The woman who already has what you want feels that way - with or without that thing. BE. HER. NOW.

To learn how to have conversations with your future self, listen to this week’s podcast.

Future Self Conversations


Ideas for Elevating from Our Members

Living My Perfect Day
with Jayne Hesketh

“In my perfect day, I put on my outfit of the day, call in at my favourite coffee shop, order an iced latte, and sit in the shade overlooking the Marina watching the world go by.

And that is exactly what I did this morning. This was an experiment in seeing myself differently.

I can tell you now that it elevated my day entirely. Just one simple outfit and voila!

It elevated my food choices when I went shopping on my way home. I then dined alfresco for lunch in my tiny garden before heading off to spend a wonderful afternoon with my younger sister who is over from Holland for a few days.

The crème de la crème was when I was heading home for the evening. A complete stranger stopped me and said:

‘Excuse me! I just wanted to say I love your outfit. You look absolutely fantastic!’

Job done! Thank you SOSI and Tonya Leigh!”

A Taste of Style

Making the Everyday Extraordinary

Decide What You Want to Be Known For

This question is so delicious.

“What do you want to be known for?”

The most interesting people I know are… KNOWN. They stand for something. They’re deeply invested in their passions and pastimes.

The future you is known in her circles - not just for what she DOES for a living but for what she REPRESENTS as a woman.

And I can think of nothing more stylish than that.

*Special note for my Gold and Platinum ladies inside School of Self-Image: Salon No. 1 in Charm the Room covers exactly how to decide what you want to be known for. Please review this if you’d like to go deeper on this topic.

*Are you in School of Self-Image but haven’t upgraded to the Platinum Membership just yet? Please upgrade! We’d love to have you in our live monthly cocktail parties, Charm the Room, and of course, in the Wealthy Woman, my course for ladies who are excited to build their wealth and increase their net worth today.


Habits for Creating the Impossible

This week’s Haute Habit is to shape your future.

Did you know you can actually predict the future? You can - by creating it. The trouble is that most women keep replaying their past like a broken record.

  • They think thoughts about their past.
  • They tell stories about their past.
  • They think their past results define what they’re capable of - but it’s not true at all!

I like to say, “You can talk about my past but I don’t live there anymore.”

Why keep rehashing the past when you can live in your future NOW? Living in your future is the fastest way to create it.

To learn how to stop defining yourself by the past and instead, start being your future, listen to this podcast from the collection:

Be Your Future

In the Bag

Tools for REinvention

A couple of years ago, I invested in a huge gold floor mirror, and with this purchase, I began a new ritual.

Each morning when I wake up, I give myself a “future self pep talk” in front of this gorgeous mirror.

Good morning, gorgeous!
I’m so proud of you.
You’ve got this.
I’ve got your back, no matter what.
I love you.

When you look in the mirror, who do you see? You get to decide. Isn’t that exciting?

Here’s the mirror I bought, in case you need one of your own. It comes in four colors!

The Toast

Your Invitation to Connect & Celebrate

The Secret to Mindblowing Dinner Party Conversation

I love a good dinner party — the kind that leaves you excited, inspired, and fulfilled.

This requires that you break away from the usual humdrum chit-chat and create conversations that cause people to think BIGGER.

(Hint: The secret to this is inspiring them to think from their future selves.)

Here are some fun dinner conversation starters:

What are you excited about?
What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
What’s the best gift you could give someone?
What is your biggest fear?
What do you want to be celebrating this time next year?

Remember, you’re already fabulous. Living in your future should feel fun, like my mentor Martha Beck used to say,

“You’ll know it’s your truth when it tastes like freedom.”

To your future!

P.S. You know I love a good dinner party. If you’re feeling like being “extra” and pulling off something really spectacular, why not throw your own dinner party?

I give you all the tips in this episode from the collection:

The Lost Art of the Dinner Party

// TheEDIT

A weekly digital magazine by the School of Self-Image