Would you like to have more awesome days? If so, you’re going to love this episode. I’ve been studying my awesome days to see what makes them awesome, and I’m sharing all of my tips with you in this episode, so let’s dive in.
Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here’s your hostess, master life coach Tonya Leigh.
What is happening, my friends? So much is happening in my world. First of all, I am feeling so much better. If you listened to last week’s episode, you could hear I was under the weather. And I’m so grateful that I am feeling like myself again. And I am also wrapping up the final details of my event that I am holding in Miami in less than a month. And it just keeps getting better and better.
Every time I meet with my team, I’m like, “We should do this. We should do that.” And it’s just turning out to be everything I envisioned all those years ago when I thought about doing a big event. I cannot wait to see you all there who are going to be coming. We’re going to have so much fun.
I’m also super excited that we just opened the doors for enrollment to the School of Self-Image membership. I am so proud of this membership. And more specifically, I am so proud of the members. We have collected hundreds of testimonials of women who are achieving extraordinary results because they are expanding their self-image, which as a result, is expanding what is possible for them.
I had a woman email me just last week and she was so excited because she has been in debt for over 15 years. And because she didn’t have these tools, she did what most of us do without this knowledge and this understanding. She kept looking at her past, at the debt that she had created, and she allowed that to shape her self-image.
And because we will always create how we see ourselves, she just perpetually kept creating debt for herself. And she emailed me last week to say, “I am, for the first time in 15 years, debt free.” And it’s because she changed her self-image to a woman who is debt free, and then she created that result for herself.
Some of our members have struggled with their weight for years. And as soon as they change their self-image, they are able to lose the weight and keep it off. I’ve had members who were able to make six figures after being stuck at, like, $75,000 for, like, three years. I’ve had members who found the love of their lives.
All of these stories are coming in, and it all boils down to them changing their self-image. Because listen, y’all, your self-image is creating your entire life. If you see yourself as broke because that’s been what you’ve experienced in the past, you will continue to create that result for yourself.
If you see yourself as unlovable because of something that maybe happened in the past, you will reject love. If you see yourself as not good enough, you will perpetuate that story. If you see yourself as not successful, you will prove to yourself through your actions that you’re not successful.
So, when you change your self-image, you change your life, which is why this is the most important work you will ever, ever do. And if you want to do this work with me in the most extraordinary group of women, come join us. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/join and you can read all about the membership and what’s included, and I cannot wait to see you in there.
One of the things that I have noticed when I go into our private group is how women are reporting having more awesome days. And if you think about it, a well-lived life is nothing more than a series, a collection of well-lived days.
And as I was preparing for this podcast, I was thinking back over the last two years. And I know that the majority of the world have had days full of stress and anxiety and uncertainty and worry. Most people wouldn’t be describing their average days as awesome. And for us, I want us to make 2022 the year that we have more awesome days than not.
Now, we’re all human. I don’t think that we’re supposed to have awesome days every day. There are things that happen in life that we don’t want to be happy about, we don’t want to be excited about. But a lot of the days that we classify as bad are simply days where we haven’t managed our minds correctly.
So, those bad days have the potential to be awesome, and that’s what I want to share with you in this episode. I am constantly researching myself and studying myself to share what I learn with you all.
Like most of you, my brain doesn’t automatically go to creating awesome days. It’s crazy how our brain wants us to be scared, wants us to stay in the familiar, wants us to keep doing the same things over and over. The brain doesn’t want to work that hard.
So, it requires effort, especially in the beginning, especially if you’ve been in a period of having down days, it takes a little more effort in the beginning to get the momentum going where having awesome days is more common than not.
I can say for me now, it is less common for me to have bad days. And it’s not because my life is perfect. It’s not because everything always turns out the way I want it to. Quite the contrary actually. But it’s because of how I’ve trained my brain to think.
And so, my default now isn’t to go to, “Woe is me. My life is bad. Nothing good ever happens.” I just don’t go there anymore. I’ve trained my brain where my default is to go to something that’s more uplifting and positive and that will help me create a better day.
And even with that practice, I still have bad days. In fact, two days ago – let’s see, today is Wednesday, so Monday – I was in a funk for no reason. I mean, the sun was out. I was feeling better. Things were going well. Like, I was just in a funk.
And I realized that that is part of the process. When I’m in a funk now, I don’t make it mean that my life is bad. I don’t make it mean that anything has gone wrong. I’m just in a funk. I don’t fight it.
But I was able to get right back on track, and I’m going to share with you how. I was able to turn – actually, on Monday, I didn’t turn it into an awesome day. But the next day, I was like, “Okay, let’s go. I had my funky day. Now I want to make Tuesday – yesterday – awesome.”
And like I say, I’ve been paying attention even more intensely recently about what makes my awesome days awesome. And I’ve seen a pattern. I’ve seen a direct correlation with the things that I’m about to share with you and how awesome my days feel. And so, I want to share it with you because, like I said, I want us to have more awesome days in 2022. What do you say? Let’s make a deal that we’re going to practice this together.
So, here are the common things that I’ve noticed on my awesome days. I’m calling this my awesome day formula. The first thing that I’ve noticed on my awesome days is that I start the day out with intention.
So, instead of jumping out of the bed and not really thinking about my future day, I just start living and I don’t manage my brain. And those are the days that aren’t so great. So, what do I mean when I say, “Start the day out with intention?”
First of all, if I wake up with a negative feeling – for me, my most common negative feeling is anxiety. Now, I don’t have it as much now as I used to. I used to be a very anxious person and I’ve worked a lot around my anxiety. But even still, there are some mornings I wake up and I just have anxiety. It’s there.
And so, I like to do the work to clean that up first. I don’t want to carry that with me throughout the day. So, I can do a little bit of brain cleaning, a little mind cleansing, and clean it out. And so, what that looks like for me is stilling still for a moment and asking myself, “Why am I anxious?” And it will always be a thought, or many thoughts, that are creating my anxiety. And so, I like to clean that up.
And then from that place, I’ll ask myself, “How do I want to feel today? What is the emotion that I want to generate today?” And that’s going to vary depending on my day. So, for example, on a workday, I might want to feel productive or excited or confident. It just depends.
On a weekend, I may want to feel relaxed. I may want to feel fun. So, I get really clear, first thing in the morning, about how I want to feel today. The next thing I love to do is ask myself, “What is the results, or the results that I am committed to creating today?”
Now, this is a very different question than “What am I going to work on today.” Because we can spend a lot of time working on stuff and not creating a result from that. So, I like to be very clear. I like to tell my brain, “This is the result that I am going to create today.”
So, what does that look like? Well, today, for example, I had a team meeting, and I knew the result of that meeting was I wanted certain decisions made. I also wanted the result of recording this podcast. I wanted to the result of completing the workbook for my upcoming event, and the result of having a fun and exciting virtual cocktail party with my VIP School of Self-Image members that I’m going to be hosting in a few hours.
So, by doing that, I have told my brain what I want to create today. Now, all I have to do is to show up for my calendar and what I have scheduled and create those results. I know, if I do that, I have a more likely chance of having an awesome day.
Now, some of you may be thinking, “Well, what about on the weekends?” There are days where I don’t want to create a result. I just want to be. And that’s a beautiful thing. I think we need space in our calendars just to be. And those days feel awesome too. Do you know why? Because they’re intentional.
It’s not like I’m procrastinating and checking out of my life by binging on a Netflix episode. It’s because I decided ahead of time, “This is going to be the day that I do whatever I want.” So, that’s the first thing to creating an awesome day. Start your day out with intention. Know how you want to feel and the result that you want to create.
The second ingredient that I’ve noticed to my awesome days are the days when I exercise. In fact, on Monday when I was in a funk, do you know what I didn’t do? I didn’t exercise. So, around 5PM, I said, “You know what? I’m going to test this theory out.” I went down to the gym in my building, and I got in an hour workout. And immediately, I started feeling better.
Studies have proven that exercise releases feel-good hormones. And for me personally, not only do I feel better physically after I’ve exercised. I also feel better emotionally. There’s a sense of pride that I took the time out to take care of myself, that I’m doing something good for my body. And there’s also an energy that happens with exercise.
Think about it. When you’re in a low mood, what does your brain tell you to do? For most people, the brain tells you to do things that perpetuate that low mood. The brain may tell you to go eat when you’re not hungry. The brain may tell you to stay on the couch and watch Netflix. The brain may tell you to stay in bed.
The brain loves to feed the mood that it’s in because it doesn’t have to work to change it. And so, when you find yourself in a funk, just test this out. Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Move. Get to moving. Because here’s my theory around this; when you are physically moving, it’s a symbol that your life is moving. There’s an energy that is pulsing through your body that is welcoming more movement in your life.
So, all of my awesome days, seriously, when I look back over the days where I feel the best when I lay down at night are the days that I’ve exercised. Now, in conjunction with that, I’ve noticed that my awesome days are the days when I nourish myself well. I eat good foods. I eat until I’m elegantly satisfied. And I’m energized by my foods. I don’t feel lethargic because I ate a bunch of sugar, or I ate too much. And so, eating well is also a part of my awesome day formula.
The other component of my awesome day formula is getting dressed up. Now, this is going to look different for all of us. But when I talk about getting dressed up, it’s getting dressed with intention. Again, bad moods love to feed themselves. And one of the ways they love to feed themselves is by telling you to stay in your PJs or throw on the sweats or whatever piece of clothing that you have that makes you feel even worse.
So, the first suggestion that I have is to get rid of any clothing that makes you feel bad. Seriously, get rid of the tattered PJs. Get rid of the big, baggy sweatpants. Get rid of any clothing that you may be tempted to reach for when you’re in a bad mood. Because then, it won’t be available to you, and you’ll be forced to put on something that makes you feel better.
Now, that’s not to say that we shouldn’t have athletic wear in our wardrobe. I have plenty. But I wouldn’t be embarrassed if you caught me in it. So, that is another sign. If your clothes embarrass you, if you’re ashamed of someone knocking on your door and catching you in it, it does not belong in your closet.
But the days when I wake up and get dressed with intention – which for me now is almost every day because I love how it feels. But when I ask myself – so let’s say for example, I want to feel powerful today. Well, what outfit helps me create that feeling?
Or maybe I want to feel relaxed or maybe I want to feel feminine or sexy. It doesn’t matter. But knowing how you want to feel and then dressing accordingly will help you have a more awesome day because you’re feeding the desired emotion that you have.
And not only this, you all, but how you dress is shaping your self-image. Because when you see yourself in a mirror, you’re going to have thoughts about yourself. So, I want you to put something on that, when you look at yourself, you feel proud, you feel like you’re a woman who respects herself, a woman who loves herself. I want you to give yourself that feedback loop. So, getting dressed with intention is part of my awesome day formula.
Another component of my awesome day formula is getting out of the house. I cannot tell you how important this is, especially after the last two years where so many of us were stuck at home, we weren’t going out a lot. I think that’s what led to a lot of our stress and anxiety is that we didn’t have interaction with the world.
I also think this is very challenging for those of us who work from home. Whether you’re running your business from home or you’re a stay-at-home mom, you can find yourself three or four days having not left your house. And you may start to notice that you just start to feel bad and disconnected. Which is why I make an effort to get out of the house every day.
It might be to go to the coffee shop. Maybe it’s going to the gym. I even recently joined a private members club so I could have a place to go and work, just to be around other people. And they also have evening social hours and I make a point to go there once or twice a week.
I also love to plan things on my calendar. So, lunches with friends, dinner with friends, concerts, things that will require that I get out of the house. Because I know that those are the days when I feel most awesome.
Get out. Go for a walk. See the world. See your neighborhood. Participate in life that’s happening outside of your house. This has been a big one for me because, for about three years, I didn’t get out much, and I was starting to go stir crazy. And so, now that I’m in Denver, I’m out all of the time. It’s so much fun. So, get out of the house.
The next one is, take the time each day to indulge in true pleasure. What do I mean by true pleasure? It’s the kind of pleasure that makes your life better. It’s the kind of pleasure that you don’t regret the next day. It’s the kind of pleasure that makes you feel sated and fulfilled and proud. Very different from faux pleasure, which bad moods love faux pleasure; binge eating, watching a lot of TV shows, doing things to escape your life. That’s not the kind of pleasure I’m talking about.
I’m talking about the kind of pleasure that adds to the quality of your life. And that’s going to be different for all of us. And I think it’s important that we have a diversified portfolio of things that bring us pleasure.
For me, I love games. I am a game freak. We just discovered this new game. My friend Brooke and her family introduced us to it, and I cannot get enough of this game. It’s called Unicorns. It’s a card game. And when I first watched them play it, I was so confused. I’m like, “I don’t know if I ever want to learn this game.” But then when I learned it, I’m like, “This is the best game ever.”
And so, playing Unicorns, I love to play cards. I love games. And so, every day, I play some kind of game, every single day. It brings me so much pleasure. I also love good shows on Netflix. I also enjoy things like taking warm bubble baths. I love evening dinners with a nice glass of wine. I love going out with my friends for dinner.
My daughter and I are starting to play tennis again. I like to go skiing up in the mountains on the weekends. So, these are all of the kinds of things that bring me true pleasure. Some require more time commitment than others. And then, some are very simple. Even lighting a candle, having beautiful flowers in your house. I have music playing in my house all of the time. Those things bring me pleasure and they make my life, the quality of my life better. And so, those are a part of my awesome day formula.
The final component of my awesome day formula revolves around how you wrap up your day. Because some of you all are having awesome days, and you don’t even stop to appreciate them. You’re onto the next day. And so, I love ending my day in celebration. I love looking back over my day and looking for what I’m proud of, how I impressed myself, what I enjoyed, what I’m blessed with.
And you can do this no matter how you would classify your day. In fact, this is a beautiful way, if you’re having a bad day, to wrap it up so you can set yourself up for an awesome day tomorrow, so you don’t bring that energy over into the next day.
I believe in us celebrating every single day. And so, try that tonight. After you listen to this episode, before you go to bed, I want you to look back over your day and find something to celebrate. I am a huge believer in when you celebrate life, life celebrates you back. So, each day, before you go to bed, look for something to celebrate.
So, I’m going to recap my awesome day formula. First, start your day out with intention. If you need to clean up any negative feelings, do that first. And then, decide, “How do I want to feel today?” And then, what do you need to think and what do you need to do to create that feeling for yourself? And then, “What is the result that I am committed to creating today?”
So, that’s how you start your day out with intention. Also, make exercise a part of your day. Eat well. Eat in a way that is nourishing and feels good to your body. Dress with intention. Decide how you want to feel for the day and then choose your clothing accordingly. Get out of the house. Indulge in true pleasure, and wrap up your day with celebration.
That is my awesome day formula, my friends. And hey, listen, if you want to commit to having more awesome days this year and you want my support and you want to be a part of an extraordinary group of women, head over to schoolofselfimage.com/join and come join us in the membership.
Here’s my guarantee. If you do this work, you will have more awesome days this year. I hope to see you inside and I cannot wait to see you in next week’s episode.
Hey, before you go, don’t forget to sign up for my upcoming five-day live workshop called Live Like an Editor. You can head over to schoolofselfimage.com/workshop and I cannot wait to see you inside.