Summer of Style (& Why it Matters)

Episode Transcript:

What if the secret to a more joyful, confident life was hidden in the details you've been overlooking? Well, today we're exploring my summer of style, not just a season, but a mindset that can transform how you express yourself and experience the world, from the way you dress to the scent of your home. Every choice tells your story. Are you ready to rewrite yours? If so, let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, master life coach, Tonya Leigh.

Hello my friends, welcome back to the podcast. I am so excited about today's episode because we are talking about style, more specifically, I'm calling this my summer of style. Within the School of Self-Image for the month of June, we all designed our dream summers and it was such a fun lesson, and I asked each member to think of their summer as if it were a fashion collection, to really think about what their soul is craving, to think about what they want to experience, what they want to create, and to look at it overall and give it a theme.

This is your summer of what. When I went through the exercise and I saw where my soul is wanting to spend a lot of time, what it's craving, the creativity, the self-expression, I realized that this was going to be my summer of style and I am bringing you all along on this journey with me. Now, if you've been following me for a while and you've listened to this podcast, then you are no stranger to the fact that I love style and I talk about it a lot, specifically how style has changed my life. Learning how to really express myself on purpose, using clothing as a way to see myself differently, even how I style my life. All of these little things have changed me as a woman, and yet I still remember way back in the day being a woman that was so intimidated by style, who didn't know what her style was.

I was one of those who had a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear. Does that sound familiar? Deep down, I wanted to be a stylish woman. I wanted to understand my loves, I wanted to understand my truest self-expression, I wanted to understand my body, I wanted to be able to walk in stores and confidently shop and to have a very well-curated wardrobe, and so those desires sent me on this style adventure, where over the past 10 years I have studied style in depth. I'm not just talking about designers, I'm not just talking about color theory, but what it really means and takes to be a stylish woman. One of the things that it requires is that you question all of your assumptions, that you are willing to break the rules. That brings me to something I am so excited to share.

One of my style icons is Diana Vreeland. She was fashion editor for Harper's Bazaar, and then she went on to become editor-in-chief at Vogue Magazine, and she has a really great documentary called the I Must Travel, I definitely recommend, but she had this really incredible article that ran for almost 30 years in Harper's Bazaar called Why Don't You? She used this article and her platform to really push boundaries and spark creativity and inject a little magic into everyday life and style choices, and that's what I want to do for you all. I want to support you in sparking a little of your style creativity. I want to support you in moving beyond what maybe is holding you back, and so I have decided to create a private podcast called Why Don't You? But instead of suggesting that you wash your blonde child's hair in dead champagne, yes, that was one of Vreeland's suggestions in her column, I want to tackle real world style road blocks that keep you safe and small in your closet.

We are going to be diving into questions like, why don't you wear that special occasion dress? Why don't you dress for the body you have right now? It is going to be such a fun series, there are 12 of them, and if you want to join us, all you have to do is go to schoolofselfimage.com/why, because why don't you join us for this private podcast series. Now, about my summer of style and why I chose this as my theme for the summer and why I believe deeply that style matters is because I'm moving into my new home, and in all of this, I've realized that I have missed the creativity, looking at art, thinking about the scent that I want to be in my home, looking at my clothes.

I've been going through my closet and getting rid of so much and really thinking about what is this next version of me? Would she wear this? Does this belong in her closet? Asking those deeper questions made me realize that I want this entire summer to be about joyful self-expression. I want to be more intentional than I've ever been in how I'm showing up. I want to pay close attention to the details because the details are what makes life so interesting and beautiful. I want to use style to help birth this next version of me. I can't say this for everyone, but I can tell you why style matters to me and why I want to make this my summer of style. First of all, Diana Vreeland had an incredible philosophy as it relates to style, and I strongly agree with her around many things.

One of which is, style is all about individuality. She believes strongly in personal style and encourage people to express their unique personalities through fashion, because when we look at someone across the room, we don't know who they are, we're not having a conversation, but you can tell people who you are without speaking. Someone can look at you and just the way you carry yourself and what you're wearing, and the energy of your self-expression can tell the story of who you are. I believe that when we do that on purpose, when we are intentional and we are expressing our truest self, another thing happens. You begin to form beautiful relationships, because what happens is that you repel people that don't vibe with your energy and you attract the people who do. Let me give you an example. I am very open and unapologetic about my love of style, design, and beautiful things, I have been, throughout the course of my career and business, and because of that, I typically attract women who value the same things.

When we all get together, there's no tension, there's no misunderstanding because I lead with that. What are you leading with? Because what we often do if we're not mindful is, we try to lead to please everyone and we end up being a watered down version of ourselves, we're never able to feel safe and being fully self-expressed. You have to be willing to repel people. I believe that style is one of the ways that we do that. Occasionally, we'll get a woman or two in the membership and they're offended, and I'm like, I don't know why. If you look at my Instagram, if you've listened to any of my podcasts, if you have been around to me, you know this is one part of what I love. It's not the totality of what I love, but I do believe in the power of style to change a woman's life.

By expressing that, by embodying that, I attract the women who are either in alignment with that or they want to be, something within them deep down has a desire to be a more stylish woman. Another reason why style is important and why this is my summer of style is that style does give you a level of self-confidence. When I think about what I am looking at, in terms of projects and my schedule and everything that I have going on, I know my brain is going to tell me you don't have time. You don't have time to do all of this, but in order to feel confident, I need to make the time for really showing up intentionally, not just throwing on any old thing, not just getting through the day, going through the motions, I need to tell my brain, I've got this.

I need to tell my brain this is where we're going, I need to tell my brain I am capable, and when I dress a certain way, it literally drowns out that voice because it doesn't match what my brain is trying to offer me. If I look at myself in the mirror and I've really taken time and put in the effort to look my best, that does not jive with the thought, you're not capable, that doesn't jive with the thought, you don't have time. I'm proving myself wrong in just how I show up. The other reason why style is important and why this is my summer of style, and this very much aligns with Diana Vreeland's philosophy is that style is about fantasy and romance in everyday life. It is so easy you all to get called up in the monotony, in the mundane and the familiar.

Everybody seems to be talking about the same things, living the same ways, doing the same things, and if you're not mindful, you do start to live on autopilot, no creativity, and it starts to wear on your soul because our souls want to feel alive, they want to feel joyful, they want to feel expansive. Well, for me, style is how I create that. There is something beautiful about lighting a candle and smelling that scent in your home every day. There's something that helps me transcend the ordinary by taking the time to put on a beautiful outfit on a regular day. It's not only affecting my self-image and my confidence, it's allowing me to have a better experience of my everyday life. As my experience becomes more expansive, more joyful, that energy impacts everything. How I show up in my relationships, how I show up in my business, how I show up with myself, everything becomes better.

This is why when women come to me and they tell me, you know what? Style really doesn't matter. Does it really matter what you wear? Does it really matter how you keep your home? I've got things to do, I'm raising kids, I am building a business, I'm working. I've got all of these responsibilities and obligations. I get it, I have many of the same things, and still I know that by focusing on my style, it has made all of those areas of my life so much more fulfilling, meaningful, and better. Another reason why style is so important and why I'm making this my summer of style is that style allows you to create a personal narrative intentionally. Your style choices are telling a story about who you are and who you aspire to be. Style is your visual autobiography. Your choices can be seen as the story that you're telling just through what we see.

Think about it, that vintage dress that you love might speak to your appreciation of history. That collection of travel souvenirs may showcase your adventurous spirit. It also tells your values and beliefs, the brands you choose to support, the materials that you prefer, and even the way you mix high-end and thrifted items can reflect your values and beliefs about consumption, sustainability, and social responsibility. It also tells your personal history. As I've been looking at my house and designing my house, I'm thinking about those items that mean so much to me, that tell the story of where I've been, that tell the story of who I've been. Style can also reflect your emotional landscape. You think about color choices, textures, and the overall aesthetic can communicate your emotional world. Someone that is drawn to calming neutrals may have a very different emotional landscape than someone who's really drawn and wears a lot of energizing brights.

I always find it interesting when I'm out and about, especially in an airport, I like to do analysis of people just by what they're wearing, like how they're feeling, what their life may look like, what their career may be. It's like a fun way to try to get an idea of who people are just through how they're presenting themselves to the world. Style can also reflect your interests and passions. Think about someone who loves to wear their favorite rock band t-shirts or art books on their coffee table or sports memorabilia, it all reflects who that person is and what they're interested in and passionate about. That's why I love when I rent homes, especially in Europe, I love to go in and look at their bookshelves because it tells me so much about who they are. It tells me about their travels, it tells me about what they value just by looking at their bookshelf.

Your bookshelf is part of your style, you made a choice, and now that choice is a part of your environment that you have created, and your environment is part of your self-expression. The sheets that you choose for your bed, the candles that you have, the types of plates and silverware that you use, they all tell a story. A lot of women are frustrated, and I get it, I've been there. They're frustrated because they don't feel like the outside world reflects who they truly are, and that is why style is so important. It asks you, it's an invitation for you to deeply get to know yourself and make those intentional choices so that the outside begins to align with the inside and vice versa. Style is important because it also reflects your evolution and growth. How your style changes over time, tells the story of your journey as a woman.

The ability to look back and see how your style has changed can be so powerful. For me, I look back in my twenties, not only in what I was wearing but what I was choosing for my home, and it is completely different than today's choices. Why? Because I have changed, and I think that's a beautiful thing. I love when our styles change. I love when we evolve to the next level and we have to get rid of things because it tells me that we're growing, that we're growing as individuals. The last thing I'm going to share with you as to why this is my summer of style and why it's important is that it allows you to be creative. There's so much personal growth that comes from really accessing the creativity that is within all of us. Whenever someone tells me they're not creative, I just know they have a lot of limiting beliefs about their creative abilities, because we are all creative.

We're creating every single day. Exploring style pushes you to be more creative and to learn so much about yourself along the way. For me, this summer, it is about being very intentional with the choices of my own self-expression, in my home, in my relationships, in my dress, in my business, all of it. I am so excited to get back to that creativity, to that [foreign language 00:18:19], to that romance and daily attention to details. Perhaps that last point is the most important because I have found that if we're not mindful, we can get so caught up in the big goals. You know I love a big goal, but hear me out, we can get caught up in it, and we're constantly focused there, not understanding that the big goals are achieved by the small daily intentional choices, the details of your life. The details are what makes life so delicious, so fulfilling.

Those details add up to create your experience of life. I've said many times, a well-lived life is nothing more than a collection of well-lived days, and I believe that well-lived days are a collection of the little details. That's what I'm going to be focused on this summer, the details of my style, all summer long, and if you want to come along on this adventure with me, I would love to have you. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/why and join me for this private podcast called, Why Don't You? I want you to know that my summer of style in this podcast is not about following trends or spending a fortune, it is about being mindful and intentional with how we express ourselves in our lives.

It's about finding joy in the details and letting our truest selves shine through in everything that we do, so if you want to make this a summer of joyful, self-expression, creativity, and love, let's explore how being intentional with our style can transform, not just our wardrobes, but our lives, so why don't you head over to schoolofselfimage.com/why, and join us for this 12 part private podcast series where I'm going to be challenging all of your style assumptions so that you can live your life joyfully, self-expressed. Have a beautiful, beautiful week, my friends. Cheers.

I used to think happiness was a fairy tale, forever just out of reach. I felt stuck a lot of the times, helpless and like I was constantly failing at life, but then I discovered a simple shift or three, that changed everything. Now, I help women like you create their own powerfully ever after. In my free masterclass, you'll learn the secrets to unshakable desire, fearless action, and finally believing in yourself. You deserve a life you love, so stop waiting and start creating. Watch the masterclass and unleash your inner powerhouse. You can go to schoolofselfimage.com/after and watch it now.

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