3 Ways I’m Shaking up my Life This Year

Do you ever feel like you're watching your life on repeat? Like, you've seen this episode before, same routine, same thoughts, same conversations, just a different day. If you're nodding your head right now, you are not alone. I've been there too, and I've learned that the antidote to this everyday monotony isn't just thinking differently, it's doing differently. This year, I'm shaking things up in three specific ways and I'm inviting you to come along for the ride, so let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, master life coach, Tonya Leigh.

What is happening, my friends? Welcome to another episode where we are going to talk about shaking things up. I don't know about you, but this year I'm just feeling this energy of change, this energy of excitement, this energy of stepping into possibilities. And I know one thing to be true. In order to do that, you have to be willing to shake-up your life.

One of the things that women will often say to me is, "Tonya, I feel like I'm in a rut. How did I get here?" And sometimes it's not in a bad way necessarily. Your life might be perfectly fine, but there's this subtle feeling that you're just going through the motions you're living on repeat. Because let's face it, we can get into ruts doing the same thing over and over. And whenever we do that, what's really happening is that we are solidifying a self-image. And if you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, you know that you are always going to subconsciously work to stay in harmony with how you see yourself.

And so, one of the things that I suggest to women when they are trying to get out of the stagnation is that they start doing new things. That they start exposing themselves to new people, new ideas, new activities, new places, new energy, because it's going to shake-up your brain. That's what we're really after. We want to shake-up your brain so that on some level, it almost feels like, I don't know what's going on, I'm sort of losing my identity here. And that's a good thing, because we're wanting that part of you that's stuck, that part of you that feels bored, that part of you that's still stagnant, we want to, as I was telling a member yesterday on a coaching call, we want to kill that part of you. So, we want that identity to die. We want to see ourselves as ever evolving. We want to see ourselves as growing, as expanding.

And one of the reasons why I can look back over the last decade or so, very rarely do I get into a rut anymore. Now, if we talk about pre-ten years ago, I would often be in ruts, but it doesn't happen that often because I'm always putting myself in new situations. I'm always trying new things, I'm always setting new goals, and so I don't give my brain the opportunity to settle too much.

I want you to think about it. If you wake up around the same time every day and get dressed in the same type of clothing, and have your coffee in the same kind of way, and you drive the same way to work and you see the same people and you have the same conversations. And you come home and you eat the same type of dinner and watch the same shows and go to bed around the same time, only to repeat it again tomorrow. You begin to think, this is just who I am. And if you're not satisfied with that day, you're going to be stuck in a self-image that causes you to keep recreating it. And that's why it's so important for us to balance routine and ritual with also these tiny tweaks that constantly challenge our brains, constantly open us up to new ideas, new people, and new possibilities.

And so, if you are someone who's wanting to shake things up this year, I made something for you. It's called the shake-up list, 99 Daring Ways to Do Life Differently. Some of these are outrageous and some of them are super easy to implement. So, all you need to do is go to schoolofselfimage.com/shake-up. It's free, it's fun, and as a community, I want us to really set the intention that we're going to shake-up our lives this year in a beautiful way. We are going to try new things. We are going to experience new places. We are going to maybe dress in new ways. We are going to have different types of conversations, with the intention of growth, expansion and possibility.

So, let me share with you three ways I am going to shake-up my life this year. Remember, shaking up your life is doing things differently. And one of the things that when I say this, you may think, oh my God, Tonya, this is a dream. But oftentimes, the dreams that we want to step into are often so scary because we've been so accustomed to doing life a certain way. And maybe that way of doing our lives has worked out really well, we have created great results. I call this your success strategy. It's helped you to create the life you have now and you are afraid of giving it up, but we have to be willing to give it up to go to the next level.

Now, when I say next level, what a lot of people often do is they think, oh my God, this must mean growing our businesses and making more money and moving to a bigger house and moving to a better city. And I just want to challenge you, that what might be next level to you may not look next level to other people. Next level is going to be different for all of us, but next level will always be about soul expansion. Next level will always demand the next version of us, which when I say next version, what I really mean is our truest version, because I think that's what this work is getting us to. I think it's all about getting back to our authentic self-image.

So when I think about one of the ways that I want to shake-up my life this year, it's super scary to me. And when I share it with you, you may be thinking, well Tonya, this sounds like a dream. Why aren't you excited about it? Well, I am excited, but it's also scary because it's going to be me doing things differently. You see, I have created a lot of success with the self-image of a woman who sees herself as a worker. I am a hard worker, is a self-image that I have embraced and has helped me create amazing results in my life.

And last year I realized that I want to change that. I want to change that to, I am a smart worker who knows how to joyfully hustle, because the truth is, I love working. If you all knew how much I worked, you may be a little shocked because I love it so much. That's the problem. I enjoy my work. Even on my days off, I'm often thinking about my business. I'm thinking about my clients, how I can create a better experience, new things I want to teach. It's like my brain is always working. But I did start to ask my question, if I weren't thinking about my business, what else would I be doing with my life? And it's very similar to when I decided to stop dieting. It was like, what else am I going to do with this time? There was a void there that I had to figure out how to fill it, and I'm excited to figure that out this year.

But getting back to how I'm going to shake my life up this year, is I've decided to take more time off. Now, I want to be clear, I'm not talking about the kind of time off where you're still checking emails or planning the next project, but real unplugged, soul-nourishing time off. Because I've realized that my best ideas and biggest breakthroughs often come when I'm not actively pursuing them. They arrive in those quiet moments of reflection during long walks, or while sipping coffee at a cafe in a different city. So by creating more space in my life, I'm actually creating more possibility for creativity, innovation, more joy, and what I know to be true. And this is for all of you business owners out there, you are at the core of your business. If you are not nourished, if you are not fulfilled, if you are feeling depleted, energetically, that affects everything.

Now, I will say for me, I get so much energy from working. It's very rare that I ever feel depleted from work, but I know that some of you right now are feeling that way. And the scariest thing that you could probably consider doing is taking some time off, but I want you to consider, it's the very thing that you need to do in order to shake-up your life and take yourself to the next level.

I'm excited to experiment with the version of me who works very smart. What I mean by that is, to me working smart as being very clear on what deserves your attention, being very clear in what is a priority, being very clear in what it is that you want to produce. Planning so well that you are ahead of schedule, and that you have the ability to take that time off because you have really strategically set up your year. And that is a lot of the work that I've been doing in December and this month in January. I sat down with my team, we laid out the entire year. I told them exactly when I wanted to take off, and we basically just worked everything around that. Whereas in the past it's like, let's plan the business and let me see where I might be able to take some time off.

This year, I did it completely different and I'm so excited to experiment with that, because all this is, is an experiment. Shaking your life up is really just a lot of little experiments that you learn from that teach you what works and what doesn't work, and what you want to adjust and what you want to continue doing and what you want to stop doing and what you may never want to do again. But we have to be willing to experiment because that is the best form of learning. So that is one way that I am shaking up my life this year.

The second way is actually very exciting and also extremely scary as well. This one might be even more scary than taking time off. So, one of the things that I have discovered about me is that I love business. I love creating value, I love creating beauty, I love just the art of business. And I have been very successful in my coaching company. It is my heart, it is my passion. This is one thing that I could see myself doing for a long, long time, and I intend to. I just enjoy supporting women and helping them to expand their self-image. And I always say, follow your curiosity. Follow what lights you up. Follow those little glimmers. Follow that question that you want to answer. In fact, when I look at my life now and how I ended up here, it was by me following those little questions, following something that seemed exciting. I've had a series of projects that have led me here.

I think about when I was trying to figure out what to do with my life next. I was working as a full-time nurse and I knew I wanted to explore more and I wanted to do something differently, but I had no idea what that was. Well, I became interested in wine and I went to sommelier school, and then that led me to the next step. And then, I remember being at a crossroads of like, what do I do here? I have this nursing degree. I'm working as a critical care nurse, but now I've discovered I have this love of food and wine and writing, and I was like, I don't know what to do.

So I hired a coach. I was like, oh, this seems fun, to have a partner to brainstorm with, for them to objectively look at my own brain with me to see what's holding me back, to explore possibilities. And hiring her opened me up to a whole new world that I didn't even know existed that I felt in love with. I could not get enough of it. I was reading every self-help book. I was practicing it, I was doing it. And that led me to having my own coaching business, almost 15 years ago. And now I'm feeling that same curiosity, which is so exciting.

And a business opportunity has come my way that I am highly considering. It's going to be something that I can do on the side. It's not going to be something that takes over my current business, it's just going to be something fun, like a creative project, that I am super excited about, and I'm also equally terrified of. But I also remember being so terrified to leave nursing and pursue a coaching career. Like, who in the world? My mom thought I had lost my mind. She's like, "What are you doing coaching? What? You don't play sports." She was so confused. She was like, "You're going to give up your career as a nurse to go and pursue this thing?" But something within me, my intuition spoke to me and said, "Yes, this is the next step for you." And so, that's sort of... I'm remembering that as I am... Potentially, it's not a done deal yet, but it looks like this year I will be exploring a new business venture. And so I am excited about it.

And no matter if I do it or not, I just know that this is going to shake-up my mind. It's going to cause me to think in new ways. It's going to create this intense curiosity that is going to lead to something good. I know that. Whether it's this business venture or maybe another one, it's just opening myself up to the possibility of something new. And that's what I want us all to do. We can get in such a rut of looking at our lives and our businesses in the same ways, and we can keep ourselves in a box and I just refuse to do that. And so yeah, I'm really excited about exploring this new business possibility and all that I will learn from doing it, and just seeing where it takes my life. And more importantly, how even opening myself up to the possibility of something new, how it causes me to see myself differently. And when you see yourself differently, the things around you begin to rearrange and restructure to reflect that back to you.

So I want you all to think about, what are some possibilities that you want to consider for yourself this year? Allow yourself to dream. Allow yourself to imagine. Open yourself up to maybe doing your business in a new way. Maybe you want to open yourself up to a new business opportunity, or maybe it's something completely different. Maybe it's you opening up your possibility of living in a different country, or maybe it's the possibility of pursuing a hobby that you are so passionate about, but for whatever reason, you have had so many excuses as to why you can't do it. I want us all to be willing to step into the mystery of life in order to open ourselves up to new possibilities, because that's where they're hanging out. There are no guarantees.

I was coaching someone yesterday and she was like, "I just want the guarantee that this is going to work out," and I'm like, that is impossible and if you're waiting for that, you'll never experience if it was possible for you. The creation of your possibility happens in the mystery of life. Are you willing to step into it? Are you willing to feel the discomfort and go out there and experience a life that is waiting for you? And as I was telling a member yesterday when I was coaching, I'm like, "In all of this, you have to be willing to fail. You have to be willing to fail in order to succeed. Because if you're not willing to fail, you'll never give yourself the chance to succeed."

So, that is another way that I am shaking up my life this year. I'm exploring a new business venture, and it's so crazy to me how this came about too. The opportunity literally came knocking on my door. And the beauty of it is it's not going to take a lot of my time, but I will be able to be creative and have some fun, but I won't have to manage it all. So it's just a win-win. And oftentimes, that's the other thing. Opportunities will come and we'll argue with them, and we will talk ourselves down from them, and not realizing that they come knocking on our doors for reasons. And if it feels exciting, if it feels expansive, if it feels like the next step, even if it feels scary, be willing to take it. All right, so that's my second way.

The third way I'm shaking up my life this year is actually a really fun one, because I remember a time in my life where I used to host the most incredible dinner parties, and it's something that I haven't done in a long time. And so this year I'm shaking up my life by, we are planning an epic party at my house this year. And I'm so excited, and I'm excited for various reasons. I'm excited to get back in touch with that part of myself, but I'm also really looking forward to meeting new people and introducing and connecting the people I already know and love with potential new friendships or partnerships. Who knows what happens when you get some amazing people together in the same place? But I want to really shake things up this year by stepping back into being a hostess and creating beautiful experiences where people can relax, where they can have fun, where they can connect, and really just experience the magic of a great party. Because throwing parties isn't just about entertaining, it's about creating momentum for change in your life.

Think about it. What happens when you decide to host an event, whether it's a dinner party, whether it's a bigger party, whether maybe it's an intimate dinner with some of your closest friends? Well, I think about my own experience. When I decide to host a gathering, all of a sudden I create this deadline in my mind of the things that I've been putting off that I'm now committed to getting done. Whether it's cleaning out the garage or whether it's finally hanging that artwork, it creates this deadline that forces you to get into momentum. Also, you step into this creative role, because you begin to think about, okay, what's the vibe? How do I want people to feel? What do I want to serve? What kind of playlist or maybe as we're going to do, what kind of DJ do I want to have? You know what it's like? It's like being a creative director, and there's nothing like creativity to get you out of a rut.

So, if you want to shake things up this year, maybe this is one way that you can do it. Pick a date on the calendar, decide to host a gathering or maybe you want to do several throughout the year. I know for me, we plan to do a bigger party, but throughout the year, I want to host more. I want to have that thing that every month I'm looking forward to doing and creating so that life doesn't feel stagnant. So, pick your date, call your friends, have a party. There's nothing like a party to shake-up your life.

All right, my friends, I want you to remember, getting out of a rut doesn't have to be dramatic, it doesn't have to be sweeping changes all at once. It's really about taking new steps in a different direction. It could be driving a different way to work, wearing your hair a different way, wearing a different style of outfit. But I want you to know this, each of those small decisions to do things differently, they compound over time, creating momentum towards the life that you really desire to live.

The truth is, we all have the power to shake-up our lives at any moment. It doesn't require waiting for the perfect time or the perfect circumstances. It simply requires the courage to step out of your comfort zone and do something, anything, differently. If you want some ideas, head to schoolofselfimage.com/shake-up, and grab the free shake-up list, 99 Daring Ways to Do Your Life Differently. Have a beautiful week, my friends and I will see you on next week's episode. Cheers.