Flipping the Script on Scarcity

Do you find yourself living in scarcity, being worried about money, being worried that there's not enough, being worried that you will not be okay? If so, my friends, today's episode is for you because we are flipping the script on scarcity. Let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, Master Life Coach, Tonya Leigh.

Hello, my dear friends. I will never forget, years ago, coaching a woman who revealed to me that she had almost $10 million in the bank. And guess what her biggest, biggest fear was? Running out of money. She lived in scarcity. That same year, I went to Costa Rica and I took a lot of toys and shoes for the kids that I was told would be in a village close to where we were staying who were in need. And I'll never forget going into this little village and the amount of joy, the amount of love, the abundant feeling that those people gave to me.I was the one going there, hoping to help them and they helped me more than I could ever help them because they showed me something so, so, so important. 

Abundance is a feeling created by the script that you have written yourself. It has nothing to do with how much money you have in the bank. It has nothing to do with the kind of car you drive, or the clothes you wear, or the places you go, or the job that you have. It is a feeling that almost every human that I've ever met is seeking. And it is the feeling that comes from believing in enoughness. Believing that you are enough. Believing that you have enough. Believing that there is enough. But when you don't believe in enoughness, you chase it. And you'll never find it if you're chasing it from the belief of there is not enough. The woman proved to me. She had almost $10 million in the bank. And her story was, it's not enough. And I asked her, I said, when will it be enough? And do you know what she said to me? She said, when I get to 20 million, she was like, that will be enough. That is the point when I can feel secure. That's the point in which I feel like I can relax. That is the point in which I feel like I'm an abundant woman. 

Now, I know it's easy for us to hear this and think, well, that's just so absurd. How can someone with 10 million dollars in the bank feel like they don't have enough? Why isn't she grateful? Why isn't she feeling so abundant? But it's because abundance isn't about a dollar sign. Abundance is a state of being. And listen, even with me knowing this and practicing it for years, there was a moment back in 2020 where I was spinning in this, I don't have enough, there's not enough kind of energy. I was doing better than I'd ever done in my business. And yet I was telling myself a story that I couldn't afford rent. How crazy is that? And this is why I have made it my goal, my personal goal, especially over the last three years, to practice flipping the scarcity script, to practice living into a self-image of abundance, of wealth. And wealth, listen, you all come in so many different forms. I think when we think of wealth, we immediately go to our 401ks, we immediately go to what's in the bank, we immediately go to a number, a specific amount of money. But what I do know to be true again, if you don't work on the belief of there isn't enough, I don't have enough, it's going to run out, whatever your money script says, no amount of money will give you what you are seeking. 

In fact, I want you all to think about a number right now. If I just had this amount of money, then I would feel wealthy. What is that number for you? Some of you may immediately know what it is. Some of you may be confused. You're like, I don't know. I've never even thought about it. I just know what I have right now isn't enough. So just allow yourself to come up with a number. And then I want you to ask yourself, what would that amount of money give you in terms of a feeling? Is it security? Is it peace? Is it joy? Is it abundance? What is that feeling that you think that number would give you? And the way to script the flip on scarcity is you must start embodying that feeling now. 

Not when the money comes in, but now. It's the same thing with weight. I've been teaching the Slim Self-Image within the School of Self-Image, and it's so amazing to watch these women start to lose weight. because they're no longer waiting for the weight in order to do and be who they want to be. I did that. I thought, oh, when I lose the weight, then I can finally feel confident. When I lose the weight, then I can finally feel free. When I lose the weight, I can finally feel at peace. And so I was making it so that I had to achieve the thing in order to be the thing, but you have to be the thing to achieve the thing. 

Every single one of us has a money script. It is the script that's written deep into our subconscious that we were probably taught as children. And every family had different money scripts. And so in my home, in my family where I grew up, there was the script of we can make money. My mom and my dad both could earn money. And there was also a script of generosity. They gave 10% of their income to the church every single week, no matter what. Even if we could not pay a light bill, money was given to the church. And so with that, I learned two really incredible things. I learned work ethic. I trusted myself to be someone who could earn money, because I started working when I was eight years old. 

That was my first job, working in a strawberry field, making $0.05 a quart. For every quart of strawberries I picked, I made $0.05. And I've been working ever since. So I knew I could make money. I also trusted in being generous. Because I watched my parents, even when they would give the church 10%, they would tithe every week. And even when we didn't have a lot, we were always taken care of. It was like we always had just enough. just enough. And some weeks there wasn't what appeared to be enough, but the next week somehow it would be enough. And so I learned two really beautiful things. I can earn money and it's safe to be generous. And to this day, those are two scripts that I love and that I live by. But then there were some other money scripts that I was taught that I've had to unwind. 

Things like, I don't deserve it. Things like, I don't know how to manage it. I can only make so much. And so what would happen for me, the way this played out in my adult life, is that I was really good at earning money. So working as a nurse, I made a decent income. But there was always the unexpected bill. There was also the purchases. There were all the things that always kept me at a set amount of money. Proving to myself, see, I told you all I can only make so much money. There is a cap to what I can earn. And so this perpetual scarcity, because for me, it was just like, ah, there's never quite enough. And so think about that one thought, there's never quite enough. How that makes you feel. I know when I think that I feel frustrated. I feel worried. I feel anxious. And so when I'm feeling frustrated, worried, and anxious, a lot of times I don't want to look at my money. right? Or I will spend from scarcity, because there's not going to be enough in the future. So I better spend now. I better get it now. Because what if it runs out? At least I'll have this, at least I'll have that. And so the script just kept me at a certain level financially. And I realized that if I wanted to be a truly wealthy woman, wealthy in the sense that I love to think of wealth because when I think of wealth, I don't just think about money. I think about intellectual wealth. 

I think about social wealth. I think about physical wealth. I think about, uh, relationship wealth. There are many, many, many different forms of wealth and what good is a bunch of money if your relationships are terrible? What good is a bunch of money if your health is declining? And so I like to think about wealth and a big bountiful way. But I knew that if I wanted to be a wealthy woman, because I'd done it with my weight, I had to begin to see myself as a wealthy woman, which required that I rewrite my money script, that I begin to live into new beliefs, that I begin to create evidence for these new beliefs so that I could begin to believe this is who I'm becoming. So for me a big part of this work was Rewriting the script and getting to know the wealthy version of me and She's gonna be different for all of us because we all have different values. We have different desires. We have different Lifestyles like she's gonna be different but I know for me, when I think about my wealthy woman, the wealthy woman within me, for her, she doesn't sit around and talk about money all the time. 

Now, some people love to sit around and talk about money. But that's not my wealthy version. I think about the version of me who has enough. She's not sitting around talking about something that she already has enough of. It's irrelevant. I remember when I was really working on having a slim self-image. And I thought about the version of me who didn't struggle with her weight. And guess what she didn't sit around and talk about? Her weight, food, working out. She just did those things and enjoyed those things, but it wasn't a big focus of her conversation. And I've had people call me out on this. They're like, why don't you talk about your money goals? Why don't you talk about it? And I'm like, that's just not my version of a wealthy woman. Plus I do believe there's so much more to wealth than just money. And so it's not, of course, I'm not going to sit here and be some, you know, what's the word I'm looking for? 

You know, Susie Q acting like I don't want money. We all desire money because money gives us options. It gives us opportunities. It allows us to provide, it allows us to take care of ourselves and our basic needs. So of course, but I'm driven by something so much deeper than that. So my wealthy woman version isn't sitting around talking about how wealthy she is or, or how much money she has. It's just not who I am. But maybe for you, that is your version. And that's cool. So for me, I just noticed how much of my time I spent thinking about and focusing on money. And for me, there was so much scarcity around it. 

That's what drove me to think about money all of the time. Just like with weight, what drove me to thinking about my weight all of the time is because I didn't feel like I was enough and I needed to fix that problem. And so just like with my weight journey, what I started to ask is if I was truly embodying my wealthy woman version, what would I be thinking about? What would I be doing? And guess what she's thinking? For me, she's thinking, I love my life. I'm so blessed. I have enough. I always have. I always will. I'm so excited about my future. I'm so grateful for this day. And so those are the thoughts that I love to practice to help me to rewire my money script, to help me to be in that state of enoughness instead of scarcity. Another thing that surprised me Because as I've been doing this work, I really am living into being a wealthy woman. And now I have a lot of evidence to prove that true in all the different versions of wealth. But what surprised me the most is I used to think that abundance was about spending. 

I used to think, oh, really wealthy people, they just get to spend and they love spending all of the time. It's almost like what I thought about slim people. People didn't struggle with their weight. I'm like, oh, they just get to eat whatever they want. They're so lucky. Then I realized, oh no, they're actually very disciplined. There are a few of the blessed ones who have a crazy metabolism that maybe that is true for, but for the majority of people that don't struggle with their weight, it's not because they just get to spend their calories freely. That's not it at all. In fact, the more healthy you feel, the less desire you have to go and eat certain things because you want to continue to feel healthy. Well, the same is true about wealth. The more abundant and wealthy you feel, the less likely you are to go out and spend on things. that don't contribute to that wealth. Because when you see yourself as wealthy, you are going to feel a certain way and you are going to take certain actions to continue to perpetuate that self image. Are you with me? Can you see how this true? 

Because I look back now, and I see so clearly that when I was in a state of scarcity nonstop, That's when I was overspending. It's when I had very negative money habits because subconsciously all I was doing was just perpetuating this identity of a woman who could earn money but didn't know how to manage it, that there was only so much enough for and that she didn't deserve it. And so I was subconsciously sabotaging myself all of the time. But when I started to flip the script on scarcity and I started to practice a wealthy woman script, I was shocked to realize that that version of me just doesn't go out there and buy all the designer bags. I know some of y'all think that I have all the designer bags. I have a nice collection because that is something that I enjoy. It's something that I value. I value beauty. I value inspiration. I'm inspired by fashion. But I also have a value of wealth. I want to be wealthy in all of the ways. And so I'm very mindful about what I purchase and is it taking me further away from my wealthy self image or closer to? 

Now there are some purchases that I make that I'm like, oh, that didn't feel good. And I go back and I look at what was going on within me. And I can see the little trail that maybe the scarcity that came in the, oh my God, I may not be able to get this again. So let me buy it now. That's all scarcity energy. But what I know to be true, the more I do this work, the wealthier I become. I had a member of the School of Self-Image reach out to me a couple of weeks ago on social media and she told me, she was like, oh my God, she was like, my net worth is a million dollars. And when she started this, she was like around 400,000. And I think she's been in the membership for two years. And I asked her, I'm like, tell me everything, like what happened? She was like, the only thing that I did was do what you said. She was like, I worked on being a wealthy woman. being, creating a wealthy self image. And she was like, everything just began to flow from that. I started to feel differently about money. 

I started to take different actions with money. I started to see opportunities with money that I didn't see before. But she said, all of that was available before, but I just couldn't see it until I did this work. And a lot of people want to know the how. How do I create wealth? And there are books out there, just like with diets. Everybody's like, how do I lose weight? We all know how to lose weight. It's not rocket science. Now with money, maybe it's a little bit more complicated in the sense that there are so many different ways to grow wealth. There's so many different ways to produce an income. There's so many different ways to invest. But at the end of the day, it is about earning, it's about investing, it's about spending, and it's about enjoying. But here's the deal, I could give you my exact money, investments, I could give you exactly how I grow my business, I could give you the template for all of it. But if you don't do this work, if you don't flip the script on your scarcity mindset, none of that is going to work. Because at the end of the day, do you know what's in charge? Your subconscious mind. And if we want to talk about wealth in terms of money, because a lot of you listening to this, that's what your focus is. You're wanting to grow your wealth. 

You're wanting to be wealthy. And what I want you to know is that money listens. Money has ears. And it's exactly why I sit down and have a money date every week. It's a very intimate, private date with me and money. I look at the numbers, where I am, bills, income, all of that. But I go deeper and I look at what I'm thinking about money. And if money were a person, would it want to hang out with me? The moment you say things like, I can't afford it, you are perpetuating a scarcity mindset. And I just never say that. I never say, I can't afford it. I'll say, I'm choosing not to do it at this time. It's not in my budget, but it gives me the power and it helps me to feel wealthy, helps me to feel abundant. But money listens. And if money can hear you, are the thoughts you're thinking, the words you're speaking, does it entice money to want to come out and hang out with you? Or does it tell money to stay away? So for me, my weekly money date is an opportunity for me to assess my relationship with money and to look at my script. And is it a script that I want to actually live out? And this weekly money date I've been doing for years, it has been a game changer. It has changed everything for me. And I'm going to be actually sharing about this soon. 

In fact, I think next week, you're going to stay tuned because I'm going to share with you how you can learn more about how to do your own money date. But it is a way for you to take back power when it comes to your financial wealth and to begin to live into the self-image of a wealthy woman. So if you have been living in scarcity, and you're worried, and afraid, and uncertain, first of all, give yourself some grace. It's normal. And we all go through it in some form or fashion. But if you want to begin to flip your own script, as it relates to money and abundance, then here's some things I'm going to suggest. First of all, challenge your own thoughts. Whenever one of those just habitual default thoughts come up, like I can't afford it, or there's not enough, just take a pause and notice, wow, is this a thought that my wealthy woman would think? And if not, begin to look for evidence as to how that's not true. 

Like for the thought, I can't afford it, begin to look at ways that maybe you could in the future, maybe even now. Begin to find evidence for what you want to believe. Just don't allow your brain to live on default if it's in scarcity mindset, because it's just going to keep perpetuating scarcity. Money will not solve that problem, I promise you. Also, a lot of you all are carrying around a lot of baggage from the past as it relates to money. And I'm going to encourage you to reframe those past experiences. Look for the lessons in them. Forgive yourself so that you can move on and you're not tied to a past of scarcity. I also encourage you to really get to know your wealthy woman. Who is she? How is she different from you today? How does she think differently? How does she show up in her life differently? And the work is to begin to practice being her now. And as always, the number one way to flip the script on scarcity is to develop an attitude of gratitude. I know that was cliche. But truly, begin to look for evidence as to how your life is so wealthy right now. 

Now, your bank account may be saying otherwise, but we're going to look beyond that. What do you have that makes you feel wealthy? Do you have a healthy family? Do you have a car? Do you have a home? Do you have food? Do you have a job? Do you have friends? Do you have your health? Do you have laughter? Do you have amazing friendships? There are people out there who have a lot of money who have none of that, and they would trade to have it. They would love to have what you have. And yet so many of us are wanting what we, what others have thinking that their lives are so much better. I would not trade lives with anyone. And I can say that with all of the belief within me, there's not one person on this planet that I would trade lives with. Because I work on loving my life. I work on seeing the wealth in my life. And when you do that, you're going to look around, you'll be like, I'm going to take my problems. I'm going to take my life. 

Because you wishing for what other people has makes it so that you don't get to appreciate what you have what you've been blessed with. And if you think about your version of a wealthy woman, she's not wishing for somebody else's life. She may be inspired by someone else's life. She may learn from someone else's life, but she will never trade her life for theirs. And so begin to appreciate and look for the abundance in your life. And before you know it, you're going to be living out a different script. I promise you. And again, I have something special coming for you next week. So make sure you stay tuned for next week's episode. Have an abundant, abundant week, my friends. Love you. And I will see you next week. Cheers. Are you ready to discover the ingredients to living a truly charmed life? 

Then get ready, my friend, for the event of the year, your charmed life coming to the enchanting city of New Orleans this November 2nd through 5th. Join me in the vibrant streets of the Big Easy as we dive into the eight ingredients of a charmed life that will show you how to live with more joy, vitality, and abundance. From epic parties, extraordinary friendships, and life-changing conversations, this event has it all. Your charmed life is not just an event. It's a luxe experience that will leave you feeling inspired, empowered, and ready to make the world your playground. Over the course of two and a half days, you will discover the eight essential ingredients to living a truly charmed life. One, that your nine-year-old self will raise a flute to one day and say, well done, darling. All you need to do is go to schoolofselfimage.com forward slash live to get your ticket. Your charmed life awaits in New Orleans. I cannot wait to see you there.