How to Spring Clean Your Self-Image

When was the last time you gave your self-image a good spring-cleaning, not your closet, not your kitchen, but you, the way you see yourself, speak to yourself and show up every single day? If things have started to feel a little stale, stuck, or just not aligned with the woman you're becoming, this episode is your fresh start, we are clearing the clutter, bringing in new energy, and creating the kind of environment that supports your next level self. So let's dive in.

Welcome to the School of Self-Image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, master life coach, Tonya Leigh.

Hello, hello my friends, happy spring. I am so delighted right now because I just walked out into my yard to look at my hydrangeas and they are starting to bud. And to me, this is the most magical time of the year after going through the winter, which is often a time, if you even look in nature, it's a time of dormancy, it's a time of staying in, it's a time of hibernating and after a while, you can start to feel a little heavy and you can start to feel your soul wanting to wake up and blossom and bloom. And to me, that is what spring represents, it's a beautiful invitation to reinvent yourself, it is a time to spring-clean your life, but with that, I feel like is a beautiful chance to spring-clean your self-image.

This time of year is when you suddenly want to throw open every window, toss out half your closet, light a candle that smells like a fresh start. And today, I'm going to challenge you to grab your metaphorical mop and let's think about spring-cleaning your self-image, giving it a fresh, fabulous wipe down, really looking at what you're ready to let go of, what you're ready to bring in. And I want to share with you some steps that I go through when I am thinking about reinventing myself, when I'm thinking about up leveling my self-image.

And what I'm going to share with you today is a little bit of a sneak peek of the self-image method, which is the first program that every member goes through when they join the membership. So the way I want you to think about this is that there is a thing called the house of view, it's how we're going to think about today's topic, and within this house are many different rooms, within the membership, we have four distinct areas that we look at, but I just want you to think about your life and what area of your life is most calling you to "spring-clean it?"

Because oftentimes, when we approach any kind of project, we think about the big picture, we can open up the doors of our house and we're like, I'm done, I want to clean out everything all at once and that is so overwhelming. It's so overwhelming that it often just paralyzes us and we get very little done and I just find the more that I can focus on one area at a time, it feels doable, it also feels exciting, and I build momentum and whatever I'm learning in one area just naturally spills over into the other areas.

And so for you, I want you to think about your life and what area needs to be cleaned, what area are you really being called to change, to elevate, to completely reinvent, to overcome challenges that maybe you've been struggling with for years? So if your self-image were a house, which room feels the most cluttered or off right now or the one that you're just most excited to address? It could be your health, it could be relationships, it could be your finances, it could be your career, your business, it could be any area of your life. So that's step one.

Step two of spring-cleaning your self-image is, before we even start cleaning, we need to understand what is the vision for this area? When you think about this area of your life, I want you to paint a picture of how you want to feel in this area, I want you to paint a picture of how you want to show up in this area. Basically, you are painting a picture of your after story because that's going to inform the cleaning process. And within the membership, I actually lead members through this powerful visualization that helps them become very clear on what they want this room to look and to feel like, how they want to move through it, how they want to see themselves in it. But we just first have to start painting that picture because if we don't, our brain does not know what we are attempting to create, and it's very hard to create something when your brain is in constant confusion.

Now, this is often the time where people will say, I don't know what I want, I don't know what's possible. And what I want to challenge you to consider is that, first of all, you do know. I believe with 100% of my whole heart that you do know, it may be very buried, you may be afraid to admit what you want, you may have fear around your ability to create what it is that you want, so it's easier just to stay confused. But I want you to at least paint a broad picture of what you want this area to look like.

For example, when I approach my house and I approach spring-cleaning, which I'm in the process of doing, I think about the first area I want to tackle, which is step one, and before I even start to tackle that area, I start thinking about what I want the end result to be. It might just be a little refresh, it might be a complete decluttering project, it depends on the area that I choose. But I love to tell my brain, here's what we're creating, and that's what I want you to do with step two of spring-cleaning your self-image. Whatever that room is that you chose, now paint the picture of what you want the end result of your spring-cleaning to look and feel like, so basically, you just painted an after story.

You all know I love a good before and after, I love the idea and the knowing that within each of us, we always have a new after story that's just waiting to be revealed, waiting to be experienced, waiting to be created, but you have to paint it first, if not, you'll just create an after that you didn't deliberately create. And sometimes those work out okay, but nine times out of 10 they don't because they were someone else's after or they're an after that you just keep living over and over again, so we want you to create the after. What do you want this area to look and to feel like? And be as specific as possible.

Now we got to start clearing the clutter. What this looks like is that now that you have decided this is the result, this is the feeling, this is what I want this part of my house, the house of me to look and feel like, what's going to probably happen is you're going to have a lot of thoughts and beliefs refill themselves. This is the clutter that needs to be cleared, nothing has gone wrong when this happens. This is why oftentimes people don't create what they want because all of these limiting beliefs come up and they just believe it and then they go right back to being who they've been, they go right back to the old patterns, they turn the light off and they just keep living on default. But I want you to challenge you to turn the light on and look at the clutter.

It's a beautiful thing to be aware, it's a beautiful thing to shed light on what needs to be cleaned because you can't clean what you can't see. And so when you think about this area of your life that you have chosen to spring-clean, ask yourself, what do I believe about myself in this area of my life? I'm going to share my own personal example. So this year I have chosen to focus on my health and wellness, that is my main focus for this year. And what I have historically believed about myself has simply been a statement of what has been. So let me give you an example.

I had this belief of, I focus on my health and wellness until work starts to pile up, and I have proof of that, I have evidence of that. But that belief is not going to help me make my health and wellness a priority, can you see how that works? As long as I keep repeating old thoughts that have led to certain results, I'm going to keep repeating those same results. But that's just one of the beliefs that I've had, and then if we dig down, I can see even micro day-to-day beliefs, like I'll just do it tomorrow, I'll do that workout tomorrow.

And I was sharing with the membership that last year, I did really great with my workouts, it's my workout specifically that I tend to put on the back burner. And I was doing great all of last year until we hit a really, really productive, I don't like to use the word busy, I'm going to say a very productive part of our business, we were revamping the whole membership, there were a lot of changes happening, and I found myself working longer days. And the problem is, and you can say it's a problem or not, but I love working, I really do, and so because I love it so much, if you give me a choice between working and working out, I'm probably going to choose work unless I start creating different beliefs. Because remember, we are designed to pursue pleasure and to avoid pain, and so because I find working so pleasurable and those hard workouts are often painful, just the way my mind's wired, the way the human mind is wired, I will pursue work at the expense of working out.

I needed to bring these beliefs up, I needed to bring up all of this clutter that was keeping me from reaching my goal of being super fit, not just fit, I want to be super fit you all, I think the older I get, the more fit I want to be, I realized how important it is. And so at the beginning of the year, I really started to think about all of the clutter that I needed to clear, the I'll just do it tomorrow, there's not enough time, this is a priority, meaning work. These are all just thoughts that I get to choose to think and they weren't serving my ultimate spring-cleaning project of wanting to get fit and healthy this year, so clearing the clutter for me was all about revealing all of these thoughts that needed to be released. And so for you, you got to let the clutter reveal itself so that you can clear it.

And so after that, the next step is to then bring in fresh energy. To me, this is what spring is all about, it's that new fresh energy, which when it comes to spring-cleaning your mind and your self-image, it's about bringing in fresh thoughts, fresh ideas, fresh perspectives. Now what's interesting is, when I was doing this for myself, if you have listened to the podcast this year, you maybe heard that my word of the year is essentialism. And I brought this concept into this exercise because I think the tendency is to start to try to practice 10 to 20 different beliefs at a time, and it can be overwhelming to our brains. And so I ask myself, what top three thoughts do I need to bring into my life to practice, to embody, to act upon that would help me and support me in stepping into elevating and becoming the super fit version of myself?

And so I narrowed them down to these three, and the first one is, I don't have to do everything, I just have to do something today. Now, this one is very important because I tend to be a very all or nothing kind of person, that is my tendency. And I've been working on this for years, but if I don't keep a little pressure on myself, I can easily fall back into this trap, and so I have to remind myself, listen, Tonya, you don't have to do everything today, but you got to do something. And this is about sustainability over perfection, because the all or nothing mindset is what keeps people stuck. But this thought invites me to build trust by taking that small, consistent action, and that something, it might be a walk, it might be stretching, drinking more water, or going to bed 30 minutes earlier, and guess what? It all counts, it all adds up.

Because the reality is, I just know myself well enough now that when I'm in a productive season of my life, there will be days where just because of the projects that I'm working on and being in flow, that I'm probably going to lift my head up at 6:30 PM and be like, where did the day go? And if I have this all or nothing mindset, I'm going to start running a story, well, it doesn't matter now, the day's almost over, you can just do it tomorrow, Tonya. And that is the pattern that takes me away from my ultimate goal, but knowing on those days, if you just go for a quick walk, if you just get up and stretch, if you go and do a 15-minute Pilates routine, that counts.

And it counts for a number of reasons, first of all, it's you doing what you say you're going to do. Number two, that little bit of movement adds up and you start to build that trust and it just feels good, it's moving your energy in the direction that you want to go. It's the difference between staying in motion versus stalling out because it's not "enough." The reality is, so many women think that they have to overhaul everything to get fit, but the truth is, identity is built in tiny decisions, you don't need a 90-minute workout or a meal plan downloaded from heaven, you just need a moment of alignment today, that's it. And that's what I tell myself, just a moment of alignment because those little moments of alignment, they add up and they're changing your identity, and from your identity comes your actions, and from your actions, you're reinforcing an identity. So that's the first thought.

The second one is, I'm training for the life I want to live 10 years from now, and this shifts me from that immediate results to long term vitality. I think so often we can get caught up in, well, I'm not seeing results right now, but I want you all to really think about the question of this, if you continue to do what you're doing for the next 10 years, are you going to like the result? Now, you may go for a workout and you don't see immediate results, but imagine going for that work out every day for the next 10 years, and imagine how your life will be different. And this can be applicable to any part of your life, not just health, it can be applicable to your finances, to your business, to your relationships.

This is not about, for me, fitting into jeans next month, it's about how I want to be dancing at my 60th birthday, hiking on a vacation, waking up energized for my business in the future because I know I'm not just working out, I'm investing in my future freedom, my future mobility, my future joy. And this thought adds emotional weight to my habits in a positive way, it makes me want to show up for it. When I imagine that version of me 10 years from now, she's already there in my mind and every day she's like, my God, thank you for doing that for us, thank you for showing up for your commitment, and on some days she may be saying, thank you for doing that little bit, I know this is what you had for me today and you know what, that's okay, but I want to stay in motion.

I've realized over the past few months since we started the new year, and I've really been stepping into this area, that what motivates me more than any diet or deadline is imagining that sixty-year-old me, vibrant, sexy, playful, running her business, still loving the way that she feels in her skin. And so I know that every walk, every workout, every salad with salmon, it's for her. So that's thought number two, I'm training for the life I want to live 10 years from now.

And then the last one is a really good one, because remember me telling you how my tendency is to work because I love working? And so what I thought about is if I can tie in my fitness to my business, I will be more motivated to show up for those workouts. And so the third thought that I want to bring in during my spring-cleaning, and I actually brought it in during the winter, but for the purpose of this episode, this is also what I'm continuing to practice. And the thought is this, my business thrives when I thrive. I know that I am the face, I'm the voice, I'm the energy behind this brand and my wellness directly affects my creativity, my confidence, and my clarity.

You all know what it's like when you wake up and you haven't had a lot of sleep and you're trying to come up with creative ideas and your brain's like, nope, I'm not giving it to you today because you didn't get enough sleep. It low-key sabotages what we're trying to do when we don't take care of our health and our wellness,. But when I feel strong and radiant, I show up different in my team meetings, I show up different with my members, I show up different in my writing, I show up different in my community, and so fitness is a part of my business strategy, not a competing priority. This is really important because as long as they're competing, and I don't see how one fuels the other, I'll forever have that split energy, and so I wanted a thought that blends the two so that they're supportive of each other.

And so with this belief, it gives me permission to prioritize my wellbeing as a non-negotiable part of my success. Because I used to think I didn't have time for my health because I was building a business. But then I built my business and my business has been successful, and I notice, my God, I'm still running the same story. But the truth is, when I'm well, everything works better, I write faster, I make bolder decisions, I am the brand, my energy is the message, so now workouts go in my calendar like any other CEO meeting because my business thrives when I thrive, and I am so proud of how I've shown up this year.

And in full transparency, I was telling my leadership team that, last week I had an off week. It was one of those weeks in the business where things got very productive, and I noticed that old tendency to slip back in and instead of running this story of, here we go again, I'm never going to get this part figured out, I was like, no, this is part of the process, this is part of stepping into a new identity, two steps forward, one step back. Maybe it's one step forward, two steps back, but keep stepping until you step without even having to think about it and it's all forward, that is the process of becoming.

And so I just recommitted, I didn't create a big story around it, I didn't tell myself, my God, this is never going to work, here you go again, I was just like, reset, is all we got to do, just reset. So those are the three fresh, energetic beliefs that I'm bringing into my life, and so I want you to think about that for yourself. So you've chosen your area, you have cleared the clutter, you've looked at it and you're like, this is what I need to release, what fresh energy are you going to bring in? What top three beliefs will help you drastically improve and elevate how you show up in that area so that new results are inevitable?

Now it's time for the final step of spring-cleaning your self-image. After you've chosen the space and you have cleared the clutter and you've brought this new fresh energy, what do you do now? And I want you to think about this in terms of spring-cleaning your home, we can be really good at choosing the space, taking out the clutter, bringing in new things that really help align with that vision for that space that you have. But often what happens, things go right back to what they've been, and this is why it's so important for this final step, which is, protect the space, protect it, you want to keep it beautiful. And this includes different things, it's about you setting boundaries, it's about you creating routines and systems that support this new identity, it's all about reinforcing the change, not slipping back into clutter and chaos.

When I think about protecting my space, I think about, Tonya, you've chosen fitness, you want to be super fit, so that's the area of your life, you've decided that these thoughts that you were thinking are what's sabotaging you, you're bringing in these fresh new thoughts, now how are you going to keep that energy going? So for a real example from my own life, when I decided to get super serious about being super fit, not for the scale, but for the way I want to feel in my body and my business, I realized I had to stop letting my calendar run the show. I'm in charge of my calendar, and I would schedule workouts, like suggestions, and then cancel them the second a meeting popped up or I got in the zone with work. So to protect that space, I made a rule, my workouts go in my calendar like a meeting with my most important client because honestly, I am, without me, my world doesn't exist.

I even bought a couple of new workout outfits because for whatever reason, those always motivate me. And I also invested in a Pilates reformer, I've done Pilates off and on for many years, and I was going to a group Pilates class, and I realized me getting in my car, driving all the way to the studio, driving back home was one of the obstacles in my way. And I thought, if I could just wake up in the morning and go straight to my reformer and do my workout, it would cut out a lot of that resistance. So again, setting up the environment to protect my space was such an important factor. This allowed me to be successful this year, with the exception of last week, but we don't have to keep talking about that because I've let it go, but I do keep dropping that in there because this isn't about being perfect, it's about awareness.

And I feel like especially in this industry, people look at coaches and think, my God, they've got it all together, they're always perfect. No, we're not, we have off weeks, we have bad days, we have times that we're not proud of. But I know for me, speaking for myself, I learned from them and I'm like, okay, what do I need to know from that week that I can learn, grow, apply, so that the next week I nail it? And this week I have nailed it, I'm so proud of myself, but it's because of this work.

Going back to protecting the space, it means that you don't have to rely on motivation, you can rely on structure, on rituals and boundaries that hold you when life gets full. Because let's be honest, have you noticed it always does, so at the end of the day, we are at the core of it all so we have to be willing to set those boundaries to say no. We have to be willing to set up our space in a way that makes our desired actions and the woman that we're becoming so much easier to do and to be, we have to be mindful about what we allow into our minds.

One of the first things that I usually do when I am going through my own reinvention, which happens every year, it feels like, but I go through even my digital space and I stop following people that no longer align with this next version of me. Now, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them, not at all, they're over there doing fabulous work, but maybe it's not aligned with the work that I'm doing right now and that's okay. There may be a moment in the future where I go back and I'm like, I'm different now and I experience this differently, but I just understand the power of our environments. And so when you spring-clean, you need to do the work on the back end to protect the work that you're doing, who you're becoming, and the life that you are creating.

Ask yourself, where maybe do you need to put up a boundary? What systems and rituals can you put into place that support you protecting the space? And finally, how can you elevate and upgrade your environment so that you're not relying on motivation, but the environment triggers to you who you're becoming and what you expect of yourself? That my friends, is an intro into how to spring-clean your self-image, I hope you all have a beautiful spring.

Now, listen, for those of you in the other part of the world on the opposite hemisphere, I realize that you are moving into your season of autumn, but this work still applies. So with that said, I hope you all have a beautiful, beautiful week, and I cannot wait to see you in next week's episode. And before I let you go, I wanted to ask you, if you love this podcast, if it brings a spark of joy to your life, if it's helped you to navigate some challenging times, if you just enjoy listening every single week, I have a big favor to ask, would you be so kind to go and leave a review? I'll greatly appreciate it. All right, my friends, I will see you on the next episode, and until then, cheers.