Listen to the Full Episode:

Ease is one of my absolute favorite words in the English language. I love what it represents and the way it rolls off the tongue.

Where you can create ease in your life by working with your strengths and talents instead of forcing something that doesn’t fit.The word ease means to lessen tension, to free from something that pains, disquiets, or burdens. And what’s most important to know is that ease is not something that just is. Ease is a mindset.

Now, this is something that I adore coaching my clients around. I see so many women fighting for their own misery, believing that what is burdening them is their to-do list, their job, or the state of affairs that the world is in right now. And I used to do this myself. But I’m here to tell you that when you choose to believe that, you find yourself faced with the impossible and endless challenge of changing the external world in order to make yourself feel better.

Listen in this week to discover how to create an ease mindset in every aspect of your world. Ease does not mean easy, so I’m sharing how you can still go after your big dreams and goals, and start living intentionally while embodying an ease mindset every step of the way.

We had an amazing response to the Week of Calm that we did a few weeks ago, and because I want to help as many people as possible navigate this crazy time with elegance and grace, I’ve decided to leave it open for the time being. So, if you need a little more calm in your life, come join us.

What You Will Discover:

  • How it’s impossible for your outside circumstances to create a lack of ease in your life.
  • Why experiencing resistance and discomfort is an unavoidable part of the process when trying to achieve anything.
  • How to achieve ease when you’re in a state of resistance without trying to change your external world.
  • The adjustments I’ve had to make to actually enjoy the discomfort of growth.
  • How to identify the thoughts you’re thinking that are preventing you from experiencing true ease.
  • The ways I see women fighting for their own suffering and misery.
  • Where you can create ease in your life by working with your strengths and talents instead of forcing something that doesn’t fit.

Featured on the Show:

Episode Transcript:

“Being under stress is like being stranded in a body of water. If you panic, it will cause you to flail around so that the water rushes into your lungs and creates further distress. Yet, by calmly collecting yourself and using controlled breathing, you remain afloat with ease,” by Alaric Hutchinson

Bonjour, and welcome to The French Kiss Life Podcast, where personal development meets style. I’m Tonya Leigh, certified master life coach and the hostess of this party, where we explore how to live artfully and well. Each week, I’ll be sharing inspiring stories, practical tips, and timeless wisdom on how to elevate the quality of your everyday and celebrate along the way. Let’s dive into today’s episode.

Well hello, beautiful friends. Welcome to another podcast. It’s so interesting, I received a message form someone who listens to the podcast and she said, “I wish you would just get to the episode, to the podcast, to the main portion.” And I thought to myself, like, what is the hurry? Why are we all trying to rush to get to something?

I actually love these intros where I just get to chat with you. And I literally imagine that we’re all just sitting in a room having tea and just catching up. And that’s what I love doing. There is no rush, my friends. There is no hurry. That’s what I tell my clients all of the time. The meat of this podcast is coming, I promise. But until then, let’s just take some nice deep breaths and enjoy being here, catching up.

So, for me, nothing has really changed over the last four weeks, and yet everything has changed. Does that make sense? Meaning I’m still sitting in my house. I’m still sheltering in place. I’m still me. I’m still with my dogs and my daughter and Glen. Although Glen did go back to work, which is great.

But everything has changed in that I’ve been spending a lot of time just really reflecting on what is the next version of me. What am I ready to let go of? What do I want to do more of? What lights me up? What brings me joy? What am I currently doing that feels heavy and like a burden?

And so many just cathartic answers have come out of just sitting with myself and being with myself and really thinking on my life versus just always being busy in my life. And I think, for many of us, maybe that’s going to be the beauty that comes out of this time, is that we’re going to realize we don’t want to go back into the life we had.

We’re ready to create something new. We’re ready to create something more passionate, more exciting, more in alignment with what it is that we want to feel on a day to day basis. And so, out of these sort of reflection times that I’ve had with myself, I’ve made some really big decisions and I’m so excited to share them with you. It’s going to be coming up this summer, so make sure you stay tuned for that.

But life is so good. It really is. Like, I know life can serve us up some lemons, and I’ve had plenty of lemons in my life, but we get to decide what we do with those lemons. We get to decide, are we going to make a delicious lemon cake or some limoncello or maybe put a little spritz of lemon in our water. Or, are we just going to bite into the lemon and just sucker and pout about it?

And when we learn to just take what is handed to us and decide what we’re going to do with it, how we’re going to build off of it, how we’re going to make something great of it, how we’re going to turn it into gold, life becomes ridiculously fun.

It is time for a Community Spotlight; the part of the show where I get to highlight one of you that has benefitted from the French Kiss Lifestyle. And today’s spotlight is on Samantha Jean. She wrote a review on iTunes titled My Own Personal J’adore.

Here’s what she said, “I found Tonya through Pinterest almost exactly three years ago. And her voice was a supportive, kind inspiration I needed while transitioning to a new job. Fast forward to today and her tools and podcasts are what are helping me through the tough transition of becoming a new mom. She is such a breath of fresh air. And on those particularly hard mom days, I find myself putting on The French Kiss Life Podcast. Her brand is fun and fresh and feminine, but the work in mindset shifts she teaches are real and hard and oh so necessary. Tonya, thank you for everything you’ve created and how you’ve presented. Your message is the J’adore I share with my friends. PS, I love the opening music. The clarinet player in me was very pleased.”

I love this, Samantha Jean. So, first of all, congratulations on your baby. How amazing, to be a mom, right? And also, how hard to be a mother. I totally get it. But I am so happy that you stumbled upon French Kiss Life on Pinterest three years ago. And, by the way, you guys, do you know what? We are having 1.2 million views on Pinterest every single month.

Think about that. I remember when I only had two email subscribers; my mom and my dad. And just by showing up every day, every week, every month, every year for the last 10 years, we are growing this movement of women who are dedicated to living artfully and well.

And it’s so fascinating because many of you know that my big dream is to reach a million women in, well, now it’s less than four years. And when I saw that, I was like, “What? Is this it? Did we do it? Did I really manifest that so quickly?” But we’re looking at other metrics as well.

But I just appreciate all of you, no matter if you find us through Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest or maybe you just hear about us from a friend. I’m so, so happy that you’re here. And thank you for leaving that review, Samantha Jean. I truly, truly appreciate it.

And if you enjoy this podcast, I would appreciate a review from you. So, just head over to iTunes or Stitcher and let me know what you love about The French Kiss Life Podcast.

Let’s talk about one of my favorite words, which is, “Ease.” I just love the way that word rolls off the tongue. And when I was preparing for this podcast on how to live and work with ease, I thought, “Let me look up the definition of what ease means.”

And here’s what it says, “Ease is to make less painful, to lessen the pressure or tension.” And I especially love this one, “To free from something that pains, disquiets, or burdens.” Now, this is something that I coach my clients a lot around.

And a lot of you are thinking that what is burdening you is your to-do list, what’s burdening you is your job or your children or the state of affairs in the world. But that’s never the case. But when you believe that, what you often do is that you try to rearrange the external world.

Maybe you try to get more done on your to-do list and you’re thinking, “Once this gets done, then I can have ease.” Or, maybe you don’t do anything. Maybe you think the answer to this problem of overwhelm and stress and burden is to do nothing. But then you feel very unfulfilled because innately we have desires, we have things we want to experience and create and become. And so that’s not the answer either.

Here’s the thing. When you think of ease, I want you to think of what the opposite is. The opposite of ease is overwhelm, stress, heaviness, burden, pressure, hurry. And every single one of those is created by the thoughts in your head, never anything outside of you.

So, an example of this is you can take two people who have the exact same schedule. And let’s just pretend that these two people are women who work from home, they have a business, and they also have children of the same age. But you can talk to these two women and they can experience very different emotions around their life.

One may experience a life full of ease, and the other may experience overwhelm, proving that it’s not the schedule. It’s not the circumstance that’s creating how they feel. It’s what they are telling themselves about it. So, at the end of the day, ease is a mindset. And this is good news because if it wasn’t a mindset, we’d all be in trouble.

It would be probably inaccessible to almost all of us because we have obligations, we have responsibilities, we have things that we want to do. And I want to challenge you that you can do those things with ease. And I want to share with you some of the ways that I do this in my life.

So, what happens is when you, let’s say, set a goal, you’re going to have a lot of resistance, a lot of pressure, a lot of discomfort that comes up because, to reach a goal that you’ve never reached, you’re going to have to become someone you’ve never been. So, resistance is part of the process. But that doesn’t mean that you cannot have ease within the resistance.

Now, bear with me here. It’s about changing your relationship with the resistance. So, often what happens is this discomfort comes up and we start to freak out. We’re like, “Oh my god, this is so uncomfortable. I can’t do this. Maybe I should change my goal. That is the answer. Maybe I should work really, really hard and prove to myself that I can reach my goal,” adding more pressure.

The way to get into ease when you’re in a state of resistance is to accept the resistance. So, inevitably, whenever I set a big goal, I feel all of the discomfort. I feel all of the things. But my relationship with the discomfort has changed. It’s not something that’s a big deal anymore. I’m like, “Of course I’m going to feel discomfort. This is part of the process.”

And I’ve actually learned to enjoy the discomfort, to have it be something that I want to walk towards instead of run away from. And just by embracing the discomfort, can you see how there’s more ease in the process? You’re like, “I can feel more uncomfortable things. I can do hard things. It’s all good. nothing has gone wrong here.”

And all of a sudden, just by changing my thoughts about the discomfort, I get into a state of ease around it. What many of you do is, when the discomfort comes up, you want to get rid of the discomfort. And we do this in a myriad of ways. We may eat. We may shop. We may work. We may go out and exercise. And none of those things are wrong.

I enjoy eating. I enjoy shopping. I love exercising. I love sitting in front of Netflix sometimes. The problem is, when we do those things to avoid the discomfort of change. That’s when we have an issue because it keeps us stuck and we cannot get the forward momentum.

And when I think of ease, I think of me just flowing down a river. Am I going to hit some rocks? Yeah, but I keep flowing. I keep moving towards what it is that I want to create. And so, the first step in having more ease in your life is to actually embrace the discomfort that’s going to happen when you set out to create your life on purpose. Because that’s going to require that you change. And change is just uncomfortable. But it’s no big deal if you don’t make it a big deal.

So, for me, when I recently made this big decision that I’ll be sharing with you all this summer, I noticed that I had all the feels, so much discomfort. Why? Because I’m stepping into the unknown. But everything we want that we don’t yet have is in that unknown. We have to be willing to feel the discomfort of it to step into it.

And a lot of you all think ease is not feeling discomfort. This is not true. Because life is going to be uncomfortable at times. It’s just the way life is designed. Have you ever met a human that has escaped this experience without any discomfort? If you have, they probably were not human, just so you know. Beware. I think it was an alien.

So, life is partly uncomfortable. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have ease in the discomfort. It’s when we fight the discomfort and we don’t want it that we create more stress and more burden. But what if you were to be, like, “Bring it?” I talked about this in last week’s episode, having A Bring It Attitude. You’re like, “Bring the discomfort. It’s not a big deal. I can feel vibrations moving around my body. That’s all it is. And I’m going to keep flowing.” That’s what ease feels like for me.

The second thing is that once you allow yourself to feel that discomfort and you’re not fighting it and you’re already feeling more in a place of ease because you’re like, “Here it is, I’m going to feel it and I’m going to keep moving,” then you can notice, what thoughts are you thinking that are bringing you that feeling of struggle and overwhelm and stress?

I love to ask myself, sometimes I like to peek into my brain, and ask myself, “Am I thinking thoughts that are full of ease or am I thinking thoughts that are full of overwhelm and stress, that create struggle?” And just, like, notice what my brain is doing. Not judging it, not beating it up, but just being curious about my own brain.

And I think it was what, maybe two weeks ago, I had this moment where I was in a state of overwhelm. I was like, “What is happening?” And that’s not usual for me. I usually don’t have a lot of overwhelm because I’ve done this work for so long. And my brain wanted to trick me into believing that it’s because of everything that I’ve committed to do. But that’s not the case. I’m onto my brain.

And I looked in there and it was telling me things like, “I don’t know how you’re going to get this done? I don’t think it’s going to be good enough. You have to get this done.” These are thoughts that add so much pressure and so much burden. No wonder I’m overwhelmed. No wonder you may be overwhelmed.

And so, once I embraced the discomfort and I was like, “Alright, what’s going on here?” I was like, “Okay, I’m onto you.” And I started to shift my thoughts to things that felt more full of ease. Like, I don’t have to do anything, I’m choosing to do all of this. I’m excited about it. I will get it done and it will be perfect for me.

That doesn’t mean it’s going to be perfect for the world, but I get to decide what I think about my work and I’m going to choose to believe that it is the best work I’ve ever done. I’m excited to get this work done. I’m excited to show up for these commitments that I’ve made. I’m excited to see what is possible for me.

And all of a sudden, I started to feel my energy shift into ease and playfulness and excitement and creativity. Now, what I find fascinating – and listen, you all, I have done this too. So I’m calling myself out as much as I’m calling you all out. But it’s so fascinating how I watch women fight for their own suffering, for their own misery.

Because when I offer them this work, they’ll say to me, “But you don’t understand, this is real. I have to take care of my children. I have to go to work. Can I show you my calendar and let me show you why I’m so overwhelmed?”

But I’m like, “Listen, you don’t have to take care of your children. You don’t have to go to work. You don’t have to cook dinner. You don’t have to do anything. You are choosing to do everything.” And all of a sudden, I can just witness them go from a place of powerlessness to feeling ease and powerful. Because they realize that their brain has tricked them into believing that they have to do all of these things and they feel like a prisoner in their own life.

And I’m like, “No, there are some parents that choose not to take care of their children. There are some people that choose not to go to work. There are plenty of people tonight that will choose not to make dinner, and I may be one of them. But you don’t have to do anything.”

But these are the kinds of thoughts that sneak into the crevices of our minds and they plant themselves and they start to grow and we really start to believe them. And I want you just to peek into your brain and ask yourself, “Are my thoughts creating more ease or more struggle?” And if you want more ease, the answer is not to go out there and rearrange your entire world. The answer is to rearrange your mind.

Okay, next tip for creating more ease. This is more of a practical tip. But I have totally changed my life because of this. And that is to schedule your days. Now, I know a lot of you resist this one.

A lot of you are telling yourself the story, “I want to be free-spirited. I don’t want to have all my days scheduled.” But I want to ask you, how is that working for you? I’m onto you, sister. Because that used to be the way I tried to go about my life and I tried to pretend I was so free and I was so not free. Those were the years where I struggled the most.

And here’s the thing; when you’re scheduling your days, it’s about you scheduling in your play time and your leisure time and your self-care and your free time. I have days where I have nothing on my calendar. I just get to do whatever I want to do.

But I will tell you, for me, I’ve had so much more ease in my life when I plan my future versus just reacting to what is, which is the way I used to go about my life. I had all of these things that I wanted to do, but I didn’t plan for any of them. And so, I would wake up and feel lost at the beginning of my day.

I would start my day with no direction. I would start my day feeling overwhelmed. But when I started to put my plans on paper, and those plans that were on the paper on my calendar and I started to show up for it, that’s when I just started to flow in life.

Now, again, I hit some rocks every once in a while on that river, and some of them were big boulders. But I learned to bounce off of them and get back into the current. So, when you’re scheduling your days, I want you to also keep in mind that you need to schedule the result that you want to create in those days.

I’ve been working with my clients in the Dream Atelier and one of the things that we’ve talked about is the importance of, when they are scheduling their dream task, how important it is to schedule the result that they want to create during that time. Because how many of you will put something on your calendar like, “Work on business…” right?

And the moment you sit down, your brain is like, “What exactly are we doing? I’m already confused.” And then you start spinning into that familiar overwhelm. But the moment you put down on your calendar, “Write five blog posts,” or one blog post, whatever it is, all of a sudden, your brain is like, “Oh, okay. Now I know what we’re supposed to do,” and it can get to work for you.

And so, when you’re thinking about scheduling your days, I want you to really think about what is the result that you want to create during those different time blocks in your calendar? And then, you have to commit to just getting it done.

Do you know what steals so much of our ease is our perfectionism? You have to decide that whatever you create is good enough. That is something I decided a long time ago. Now, I still have that little voice in my head that tries to convince me otherwise. But I just don’t listen to it because, if I did, I would never produce anything, I would never put anything out into the world and you would not be listening to this podcast.

Did you know that, every podcast I create, there’s that part of my brain saying, “Well that sucked. No one’s going to enjoy that.” And I could listen to it, but why would I? How does that voice serve me in any way? That voice just wants to keep me in the cave. It wants to keep me full of struggle and heaviness.

Whereas, if you think about ease, that voice says, “Honey, it is always good enough. Have fun. Share from your heart. Go out there and create. Have faith and joy.” And so, I’ve learned to cultivate and listen to that voice.

But when you’re creating a schedule, you need to show up for it because a schedule without a person following it is pretty useless. And I know that some of you love creating schedules. I have clients tell me all of the time, they’re like, “I love scheduling.”

But do you know, what they don’t love is showing up for the schedule. Because that’s where that discomfort comes up. And again, a lot of you all think ease is just escaping the schedule, running away from it so that you don’t feel the discomfort. But ease is feeling the discomfort and flowing with it. and that means showing up for your calendar, discomfort and all and committing to getting it done.

The other way to create more ease in your life is to focus on one thing at a time. And another way to think about this is being present with what is in front of you. Now, I know, when you think you need to hurry and get it all done, you’re trying to get it all done at one time. And it slows you down.

And again, this is why I love a schedule. Because when I look at my schedule and I’m like, “Okay, on Wednesday at this time I’m recording a podcast, I just have to be here with you and this podcast and commit to getting it done.”

We have to train our brains to focus, especially in the world we’re living in today because there’s so much coming at us that’s vying for our attention. And it’s not the world’s fault. It’s not social media’s fault. That’s not the devil.

A lot of times, we’re like, “We’re living in this digital age, it’s social media’s fault.” No, it’s up to us as adult women to manage our minds, and so, that means, when you’re sitting down to work, what are you producing, what are you getting done? And tuning everything out and getting it done.

But that also means that when you’re with your children, you’re with your children. You’re in that moment with them. You’re not with your children thinking, “I need to go do the laundry,” and yet, you’re not doing the laundry, you’re actually with your children. Wouldn’t it be so much more fun and so much more full of ease if you just allowed yourself the joy of being with your children?

But this is what our brain does. Our brain is very sneaky. Our brain will convince us, wherever we are, that we should be somewhere else. If we’re working, it will tell us, “Hey, I wonder what Betty-Sue’s doing this weekend. Go on Facebook, check it out.” And you’re going to be like, “No, brain. I can check on Betty-Sue later. Right now, here’s where we are. This is what we’re doing.”

And some of my favorite mantras when I notice my brain is doing that is I’ll say things like, “I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. This moment is it. I’m going to go all in on this moment.” And it may be recording a podcast. It may be a team meeting. It may be on a walk with my daughter. But I’m like, “This moment is it. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, now let me enjoy it.”

There’s so much ease in that kind of attitude. And it’s one that when you practice it over and over again, trust me, it will start to become your default. But in the beginning, you’re going to have to manage your brain. Because that brain, it’s going to really convince you that you should be somewhere other than where you are.

But can you see how crazy that is? You can’t be anywhere other than where you are. So, why not go all in on this moment. Be with this moment and make the most of it. So much ease in that.

The other way to create more ease is to not change the what, but you may want to change the how. So, this was one that I personally experienced recently. And I’m going to piggyback it onto the next tip that I have for you, which is to focus on moving through the world in your unique strengths and gifts.

So, recently – well actually not recently. Back in January, I started to actually write my book. So, a little bit of background for those of you who may not know. Last year, I think it was last August, I launched the French Kiss Life Masterclass. I came up with this idea. I’m like, “What if I teach the core principles of French Kissing Life throughout the year and then I turn that into my book?”

So, we’ve had thousands of women join the masterclass. So fun, so exciting. But then, in January, I sat down to write the book based off of these lessons. And it was so hard, so full of struggle. And I had to really ask myself, is this because I’m just feeling the discomfort of writing the book, or am I trying to write a book that I should not be writing? Meaning I’m trying to write this book in a way that’s not a true fit for me.

And my daughter read some of the stuff that I was writing and she was like, “Mom, this doesn’t sound like you.” She’s like, “Where are your stories? Where are the things that women love to read?”

And I realized, I was trying to write a book called French Kiss Life and write it like a professor. And I didn’t like it. I was just like, ew… And I decided to play around with going back to my natural voice, the way I write, the way I love to teach, the way I love to share. And all of a sudden, it just started to feel so easy. I was banging out chapter after chapter.

So, you can see, I didn’t change the what, but I changed the how. I changed my method of getting there. And I want you to know that this is a normal part of the creative process. You take in all of this information. You read books, you take classes, you have your favorite teachers and you like them so much, you’re like, “Maybe I should try to emulate them.” And then, when you try to do it, you’re like, “This feels really off. It feels hard.”

Now, it may be hard because you’re just feeling the natural discomfort of change. But it also may be hard because you’re not doing it from your strengths. And you’re not utilizing your gifts. And I realized that with the book. It was like, the moment I stopped trying to be miss smarty pants and coachy coach and I just shared from my heart, so much ease, like to the point that I’m so excited to wake up every morning and write.

And this could be for anything. For some of you, maybe what you’re wanting to create is weight loss. You’re wanting to create your healthy weight. And so, you’re trying all of these different approaches and diets and it just feels hard. Now, part of that with weight loss is going to be the discomfort of not overeating. It is going to be the discomfort of not giving in to your desires.

But maybe it’s because you’re also trying to go about it in a way that isn’t true for you, which is why I love the way I teach weight loss, because it’s not about giving a woman a specific plan. It’s about helping her navigate her own way to that journey, by learning to tune into her body and learning to rediscover what it means to have a pleasurable relationship with food and to change her mindset so that it’s actually something she wants to do, right?

And so, don’t give up on the what, but you may have to adjust the how. And here’s the thing. A lot of you are like, “I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t know how I’m going to get more clients. I don’t know how I’m going to start my business. I don’t know how I’m going to make more money. I don’t know how I’m going to lose weight. I don’t know how I’m going to meet the love of my life.”

You’ve got to get out there and play and experiment, just like my example with the book, I had to write three chapters that felt totally gross for me to then figure out how I wanted to do it. And just so you know, for those of you in the masterclass, I think you’re going to be so pleasantly pleased with this book. I’m so excited. It is so good.

And here’s the thing; I’m choosing to believe that. Why? Because it feels like ease. It doesn’t feel like ease to be thinking, “They’re going to hate it.” It doesn’t feel like ease to be thinking, “Everybody’s going to leave me a terrible review. None of that feels like ease. That’s what creates the overwhelm and the anxiety and the worry and the stress. I’m just choosing to believe that it’s good and that it’s the exact book I’m supposed to write. And I cannot wait to get it into your hands.

Okay, let’s talk about the last one. And this could be an entire podcast episode in and of itself. But it’s to understand your hurry. The reason why so many of you are not experiencing ease in your life is because you’re always in a hurry. You’re in a hurry to get over there.

And sometimes, I’ll ask clients, I’m like, “What’s over there?” And many of them can’t even tell me. They’re like, “I don’t know, but I just know it’s better than here.” And so, I want you to be onto your mind because when you think over there is better than here, you’re constantly trying to escape here. And there’s no ease in that because here is all there is.

But for years, I’ve listened to clients want to argue that they need to hurry they need to hurry to the weight loss. They need to hurry to the marriage. They need to hurry to the baby. They need to hurry to the new city or the new home or to the next thing. And I ask them, “Why? What’s the rush?”

And it really comes down to one thing. And that is, we think life over there is better than here. So, we must hurry to get to it. but life over there is only as good as life here. So, if you’re in a rush here and you think, when you get over there, you’re going to slow down, you’re deluding yourself because you’ve wired your brain to always be looking at the next thing, always thinking that the next thing is better, the grass is greener.

So, think about it this way. Let’s say you want to lose weight and you deprive yourself, you do painful workouts and you whip yourself into shape. But then what? What’s after that? You’ll still be the same you, just in a smaller body.

But then you’re going to be in a smaller body that’s afraid that you can’t keep it up. And so, by trying to hurry and get to that result, you’ve created so much resistance. You’ve created so much suffering for yourself. And those kinds of results are not maintainable.

And this was the little dance I did with myself for so many years. I thought over there in a size four body was going to be so great, and then I got there and I’m like, “Well, what happened to all of my promises of confidence and excitement and ease?” Because I didn’t change. I was still the same me but in a smaller body.

I was still stressed. I was still overwhelmed. I was still full of self-loathing, over there was not as good as here because of the way I had gotten over there. Does this make sense?

If you think about why you want to be over there, over there with a better job, over there with a smaller body, over there with more money, whatever your over there is, why do you think you want to be over there? And it’s always going to be because you think you’re going to feel better over there. But remember, you can feel better here. In fact, that is the way to create the over there, is to become an energetic match for it.

If you take my dream of wanting to reach a million women, I’m not in a hurry to get there, not one bit. Now, I have less than four years now. I’m still not in a hurry. And what I do is I practice already being there. I imagine, what would that version of me feel like? How would I be showing up and practice believing in it now and embodying it now? And because I’m getting to feel it now, I’m not in a hurry to get there.

You can apply this to anything. You can apply it to weight loss. How do you think you’re going to feel when you’ve lost 50 pounds? Guess what, you can start feeling that weight today. You can slow things down, not be in such a rush to get to the 50 pounds because that rush is what keeps you overweight.

How is that? Because you’re constantly overwhelmed, you’re constantly full of probably self-loathing, and those are the very emotions that drive you to overeat. But the moment you’re like, “Wait, over there I think I’m going to be confident, I think I’m going to feel sexy, I think I’m going to feel beautiful, I think I’m going to feel…” whatever is that you want to feel, “More happy.”

Well, guess what. A body size doesn’t create any of that for you. You create it for yourself. And if you want a life of ease, you don’t put off feeling good until you’re over there. you start to bring what you think you’re going to have over there into the life you have today.

And then, all of a sudden, you’ll know that life just seems to slow down. You’re still showing up for your calendar. You still have goals. But you’re not going after them because you think life is going to be better once you’ve reached them. You’re going after them just for the sheer joy of showing up for yourself, of creating your life on purpose.

Think about it. If you’re someone that wants to find the love of your life. Imagine if you were to become the love of your own life and you’re having a love affair with yourself and with your life. Number one, that energy is so magnetic, you’re going to start attracting so many people into your life. They’re like, “I want a piece of this.”

But you’re not going to be in a hurry because you’re already feeling the emotions that you think you’re going to have over there. And just by doing that, notice how you start to attract things so much more quickly and with so much more ease.

My favorite mantra in the world to create more ease in my life is, “There is no hurry. There is no hurry.” And just like that, I get back into the flow of the river and I just keep floating downstream.

It is time for J’adore; the part of the show where I get to share something that I love with you. And today, we are talking about hair, my friends. You know I love skincare. But did you also know I love haircare?

So, I have to thank my daughter for today’s J’adore. In fact, I have to thank her for many of them. She’s the one that introduced me to Beauty Pie, which, by the way, if you have not checked out Beauty Pie, what in the world? I’ve had so many of you send me messages on Instagram saying, “Thank you.” And I’m like, “You’re welcome. I knew you would love it.” So, definitely go check out Beauty Pie. You can go to

But my daughter also introduced me to today’s products. So, when she was going through her sickness, one of the things that happened is she started to lose her hair. And it was freaking her out. She’s like, “What is going on? My body is doing all kinds of strange things, including shedding my hair.”

And so, the product is called Nutrafol. It is a supplement that you take that helps with hair growth and hair shine and they have different products depending on what your body’s needs are. I actually take – which one is it? It’s, like, the Women’s Balance is the one that I take. It’s really good for women who are going through menopause, which I suspect maybe that is happening for me. Good times over here.

But I won’t go into the science of it because, if you go to, you can read all about the science. They’ve done studies, clinical trials, and I will tell you, the results are impressive. My hair has gotten so much fuller. I feel like it has a better shine to it.

And so, if you’re someone that you’re finding that your hair just doesn’t look the way it used to, go check out Nutrafol. And you’re welcome ahead of time. And if you sign up with, you get $30 and I get $30. So, it’s a win-win. But you don’t have to sign up under that if you don’t want to. I don’t care because I’m going to buy this no matter what.

But, if you want to check it out, I highly recommend this product. Of all of the hair supplements that I have tried, this one definitely is by far my favorite. So, again, head over to And you’re welcome, again.

Have a beautiful week and I look forward to seeing you in next week’s episode. Cheers.

If you enjoyed this episode and you want to dive even deeper into the French Kiss Lifestyle, let’s start with a makeover; a mindset makeover. You can download my free training, The Three Mindset Makeovers Every Woman Needs, by visiting Because, after all, mindset is the new black.

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